EVERY BEAT OF MY HEART

CHAPTER 77: Daffodil Flower

To The Man I Love The Most,

       The night when you confidently said "Hi, I'm Drake and you are...?" infront of me was something intimidating yet so magical. Naiinis ako sa mga lalaking masyadong presko at gwapong-gwapo sa sarili. Pero with you, I froze and was miraculously speechless. Hindi ko alam kung talagang gwapo ka lang o I was swept away with that baritone voice of yours. Just simply hearing your name made my knees tremble and the rest was history. Walang ligawan, walang formal date kung kelan naging tayo, I just woke up one day that I am yours and you are mine. It may sound exaggerated and cheesy, but the moment I met you that night, alam ko ikaw na yun. I have dated a lot of guys, but no one had ever made me feel the way I felt about you. Without effort or not, you always hit the right button to make my tummies ache with million butterflies. Ikaw lang siguro yung lalaking kahit galit na, kinikilig pa rin ako. You never gave me flowers nor chocolates, but everyday with you was always Valentines Day.
           Sa mga araw na nakasama kita, palagi ako napapatanong sa sarili ko kung may tao pa bang kagaya mo. You are someone that would willing to sacrifice everything for the people you love. Kahit pa madalas, kapalit ang kasiyahan mo. You are so selfless Drake, minsan nakakalimutan mo na yung sarili mo. Matagal ka na sanang na-operahan kung sine-set aside mo yung pagiging mabuting tao mo kahit minsan lang. Pero hindi, even you're dying...you are still thinking those more vulnerable people than you. Kesyo lagi mong sinasabi, may mga susunod pang heart donor. Na okay ka pa naman, kahit sa totoo lang hirap na hirap ka na. Minsan gusto kong mainis sayo dahil mas iniisip mo pa ang ibang tao kesa sa sarili mong buhay. Gaya ko, you are still taking care of me despite of your own struggles. Palagi ka nag-aalala sa akin at nakakalimutan mo na may sakit ka din. Ikaw ang superman ko, superman namin ni Arylle. You managed to take care of us kahit sa mga panahon na mas kailangan mo ng mag-aalaga sayo. Imagine, yung gamot ko di mo nakakalimutang ipaalala samantalang nakakalimutan mong inumin yung sayo dahil sa sobrang dami ng iniisip mo.
       Alam ko kapag gising mo at hindi mo ako nakita, tatawag ka kay Uno para ipahanap ako sa mga tauhan niya. Alam ko ding magagalit ka sa sarili mo at kay Carl. Pero Drake, don't blame anyone lalo na yung sarili mo. Wala kang kasalanan. This is my choice, you are my choice Drake and you will always be the choice I have. I love you so much!
        If you ever reach reading this part, believe me...I am the most happiest person knowing that you are alive reading this letter of mine. I am happy that finally we are one. It may be in different way as I imagine like the old days when we were so inlove with each other, but still our heart is beating as one. Mahal na mahal kita Drake. I couldn't afford losing you infront of my eyes without doing nothing. You can reprimand and curse me with my decision, but losing you means losing the only world that I have. Tanggap ko yung iba na yung mahal mo, yung iba na yung mundo mo, na hindi na ako yun...pero yung mawawala ka? It same as death to me. You keep on prolonging my life, pero anong kwenta nun kapag wala ka na? Kaya huwag kang magalit sa sarili mo...please? Uulit-ulitin ko sayo, wala kang kasalanan. Pinili ko to, at kahit ilang beses pa ulit ito maulit, ito pa rin ang pipiliin ko.
      You may not see me in this world and touch me physically, but I am always there...strongly beating for both of us Drake. Every beat of my heart is for you to live. To live long and enjoy the world. Kasi you deserve it Drake...mabuhay ka ng mahabang-mahaba para sa ating dalawa. I cannot be your woman and partner for life, pero masaya ako na kasama mo ako hanggang sa tumanda ka. Masaya ako na nadugtungan ko yung buhay mo. I didn't die for nothing. I didn't chose to die because I am crazily inlove with you. This universe conspires for us to meet again for that certain reason. I am dying anyway, ikaw lang naman ang nagpapahaba ng buhay ko. Dying early for you to live well is one of the best decision I did in this lifetime.
       Stop sobbing, oo gwapo ka...pero kapag umiiyak ka, mukha kang unggoy. Well, the most handsome monkey I've ever seen. Uulitin ko, don't blame yourself nor Carl. This is my choice.
      And oh, before I forgot, this was my plan kapag hindi ka nakahanap ng heart donor. That was the reason why I keep on prolonging my life kahit nahihirapan na din ako. It was never coincidence that I'm a good candidate for you. Biruin mo yun, kung hindi ka pa nagkasakit hindi ko malalaman ang blood type mo. Napaaga lang ng konte, pero ito talaga ang plano ko. Kaya huwag ka na mag-isip. Its not your fault baby. I love you, I will always will. Mag-ingat ka sa susunod nating buhay, dahil mauna man si Arylle o kung sinumang babae sayo, I will surely snatch you away from them. Sisiguraduhin ko din na kapag nagkita tayo ulit sa next life, hinding-hindi na kita pakakawalan. I will not make the same mistakes I did. I will be a better girlriend, no...I will surely be your wife!
        I love you Drake. See you in our next life. Live long for both of us. Please do take care of our heart.