Before Forever|| T.M.R

Chapter forty: Before our Forever

"I'm bad at love (ooh-ooh)
But you can't blame me for tryin'
You know I'd be lyin' sayin'
You were the one (ooh-ooh)
That could finally fix me
Lookin' at my history
I'm bad at love"
-Bad at Love, Halsey

***

Tom Marvalo Riddle never had much growing up. Throughout his life it was rare he had anything to call his own. Living in an orphanage made it clear that he would never have anything solely to himself without having to share. The other children, on Christmas morning would exchange gifts and presents, and by the end of it all- he'd have not one.

It was only when he went to Hogwarts did he actually own something all to himself, the supplies he managed to get enough money for, it was all his. The home in his dormitory that he had all to himself was all his, and he didn't have to share it with anybody. He always thought that he would have that room to himself, and that's all he'd need during his time there.

Then he met Valencia Elizabeth Young, a woman of whom he never seemed to figure out. A woman who had a back story he didn't understand, a mystery, a token of secrecy that he never got the answer to. She was various different things, and even if he wouldn't admit it, she was the most extraordinary thing he'd ever laid eyes on.

Then suddenly everything went to hell, that possession- that dormitory he had all to himself, was shared willingly. He wanted to have her around with him during the night, often listening to her slow heart beat to ensure that he had her to wake up to in the morning.

He not only possessed that room now though, he also had her. She was his most beautiful possession, and he truly believed deep inside that she came out above all. Shining so brightly with the light sewn perfectly into her soul, it made him blonde to his actions. He'd do anything, hurt anyone, protect her with everything just to have her with him.

He was a fool at her will, he'd kneel if she asked him nicely enough. He'd do anything she asked of him if she was kind to him about it, and perhaps that was pathetic. Did he care? No, she made him that way, forced all his worries and care out of him. He couldn't bring himself to remember his plan as well as he used to, it didn't plague his mind anymore.

She did, she was running through his head at all hours of the day, and that was both a beautiful and horrid thing. For one, she was the most breath taking person he'd ever met, and he used every atom in his body to care for her. If it weren't for the barricade blocking him from that one emotion, he'd maybe even love her. No, he would love her.

Then there was the darker side of things, the last thing he needed or wanted was to rob her of everything innocent that she possessed. That's what drawn him to her like a magnet, her kindness and her forgiveness making him envious of her. He not only was attracted to that, but also to her will to keep fighting, the fact that she was a strong warrior that couldn't be broken as easily as others.

He was ignorant that he didn't see the signs earlier on, the way he was drawn to the vanilla aromas in the kitchen. The way he couldn't get one second of sleep when she wasn't next to him in bed. The way she took every bit of darkness and temporarily revoked him of it when she was in his presence. He was hers to do whatever she pleased with, and he didn't know whether that was a good or bad thing.

She a phantom of lust and love, her veil of beauty and scorching warmth consuming him wholly to the point of blindness. Her heart beat a steady rhythm that he had listened to on repeat for hours at a time, he was so familiar with it that he knew how many she had per minute on average.