I Been Through It All(Book 2)[Editing]

Chapter Thirty-Five

°Not Edited°

KhaLani's P.O.V

"Ariane?", August calls through our home as we step through the door.

No answer.

"Ariane!", he calls again.

No answer.

"Ari-"

"She isn't here, Daddy", Kaylin says irritated. She has been having a little attitude for quite some time.

She walking around all mad like they had to take the baby out her vagina, like she didn't get to hear a cry, like she has to put the blame on herself for losing the Damn baby.

What am I becoming?

How could I just think that shit about my five year old? It isn't her fault, it's mines.

I wanted to be ratchet and fight hoes knowing I was carrying a baby. I knew that I'd be putting the baby at risk but I still chose to fight. Now look at me Nina's happy while I'm mopping around.

"I wonder where she went?", August questions himself shortly after he returns from the kitchen.

"Kaylin get your stuff ready for school tomorrow, remind me to write a note for why you missed so many days", August says in a fatherly tone.

Kaylin nods and disappears. When she leaves, I take the liberty to follow suit.

I'm so happy to be in my own home and away from the people I once thought was family. Like, how can family do you like that? Did they not care I lost my child?

The only one who actually cares is Kaylin; My sister. She actually came to the hospital and checked on me, those other bitches acted as if him and his hoe was right. I mean they fucked up my child's birthday.

I can't believe I showed my ass like that. I messed up Kaylin's birthday, killed my child, caused my child and my boyfriend injuries. How could I react like that?

I scold Baby Kay for fighting family and I go and fight family in her face, on her birthday.

Some mother I am.

I climb into my bed lazily and lay face down. I bring my legs up and curl my feet underneath my butt. My hands lay lazily above me.

Then here it comes the guilt and hot tears. They hit me like a bus, it hits so hard I sob loudly. The sob is muffled by the cover though.

I didn't want another kid at first but I had warmed up to the pregnecy and New baby. This had meant that August, Kaylin and I are molding into a cute little family but I killed our fourth member.

My child won't even look at me or even speak to me how she use to because I lost the- our baby.

Another sob breaks through me but once again it's muffled. Tears go straight onto the cover as I squeeze my eyes shut.

"KhaLani?", August calls after maybe hours of me crying.

I don't give him an answer.

"KhaLani?", a feminine voice calls.

I know it's Ariane but still I don't answer.

"I got her, August", Ariane says bravely.

I hear the door shut then I hear footsteps.

The footsteps stop and I feel Ariane's presence on my right side.

"Look", she says with a sigh. "I know you just lost the baby but KhaLani You have to get over it, trust me"

What did she just say?

I raise my head to look at my best friend with anger evident as my facial expression.

"How can you say that about an innocent baby?", I question her as a sob escapes me.

She looks at my face in horror, maybe because it's tear stained.

"Because four years back I was in your place", Ariane says sitting on the bed. "I lost a child, my first child but I had to get over it, the more you mop the more you'll hurt yourself".

I didn't know she miscarried before.

"How many months were you along?", I ask her looking at her.

"Three", she answers briefly before tears fall. "It was a boy too".

"How was Chris affected by it?", I asked recalling they were together four years back. I wonder how August is taking this.

"It wasn't his", Ariane answered. My blood was boiling. How could she cheat? My best friend?

"The baby was a result of rape", she continued and I then felt guilty that I had accused her of being a cheater.

Ariane is now crying her eyes out. Does she even talk about this baby? Does she even acknowledge him? Does she even care for him?

"Ari-"

"You need to stop this crying and be a mother and a good girl friend, forget the baby even existed, its in the past", Ariane says looking me in the eyes as she wipes her tears.

"Ariane the baby isn't just some old toy I lost, it's a baby, a human being", I say angrily.

"Well you mopping about it won't help nobody out this predicament", she says calmly. "Have you even asked August or Kaylin how they were affected by losing it?"

When she asks that my hole mood flipped. Its like all the anger I recently had disappeared. I fall back onto the bed looking at nothing. Tears begin trickling down my face.

Ariane looks at me waiting for a answer.

"I'm selfish, I haven't even spoken to August about any of this, this wasn't his fault", I say tears running like the ocean. I look at the ceiling now avoiding eye contact.

"It wasn't none of y'all fault, it was that Bitch made nigga's fault", Ariane said angrily.

"But I knew I was pregnant and I chose to fight", I say before sob escapes my pressed lips. I bite on my lip to stop the rest but they escape also.

Ariane goes quiet because I know she has no response to that. We both know I was wrong for fighting, knowing I was pregnant.

"Its not your fault, everyone makes mistakes", Ariane says scooting up on the bed so she's close to my face. S he rubs my hair in a soothing way.

"But this was a dumb ass mistake", I say moving my head so She can stop showing me pity.

She grips my cheeks and make me stare at her, "KhaLani your my best friend, right?"

I nod.

"And my best friend is tough, a good mother, a good girl friend, Your lacking at that right now ", Ariane says bluntly.

"Kaylin isn't speaking and August is planning to kill what's his face and your cousin with Chris in less than a week", Ariane adds letting my cheeks go.

I gasp in surprise. "He's going to kill David and Nina?"

Ariane nods, "They're planning the trip to Missouri now".

I thought I feel bad, or feel the need to stop August's plan, but I don't. I want David dead as much as u want Nina dead. I want to witness the murder in my face, I want to hear his pleas and screams and, I want him just lifeless.

Nina will know how it feels to loose something precious then.

Ariane looks at me waiting for me to say something.

"I hope he rots in hell, with her", I say before I stand from the bed and walk away from my stunned best friend.