Merthur One-shots

Help Me Hold Onto You

Summary: Arthur catches Merlin using magic and panics that Merlin is slipping away.

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“Don't let anyone in unless instructed so,” Arthur informed the guards as he slammed the doors to his chamber shut behind him, locking them just to be sure. Mind reeling, Arthur restlessly paced the length of the room until he could feel the aching in his feet. 

Merlin had magic  

Like real magic. 

At first, Arthur was convinced he’d been seeing things. He hadn't slept well the night before perhaps he'd been hallucinating. He collapsed onto the end of his bed, resting his head in his hands in thought. It made a lot of sense. Merlin had always been different. Different from anyone Arthur had ever met before. That's why Arthur loved him so much but clearly, Arthur didn't know him as well as he’d originally thought. 

It was an understandable secret to keep even after Arthur had lifted the ban on magic. Merlin was allowed to be wary. Merlin was allowed to not trust Arthur. That's what hurt though. 

There were still times when Arthur had doubts about whether changing the law on magic had been a good idea. So far it had. People finally accepted him as King Arthur not the son of Uther. Arthur did not wish for people to fear him but to trust and confide in him. All the work he'd done to ensure this and even his courtier, his best friend, the person he cared most about in the world apparently couldn't. 

Arthur thought about everyone he'd lost through magic. People who had died at the hands of a sorcerer like his father and people who had made it their mission to hate Arthur for his father's mistakes such as Morgana. He would never forgive himself for the loss of Morgana who'd been a divulged friend since they were both very young. The thought hit him like a dagger.

What if he was losing Merlin too? Arthur couldn't live without Merlin but what would he do if Merlin was slipping away? He’d have to talk to him. 

A knock interrupted his trail of thought. Arthur didn't answer. He said no visitors and he meant it. Whoever it was didn't knock again and Arthur assumed they’d left, returning to his brooding. A second later the knocking became more frantic followed by yelling.

“Arthur!” It was Merlin. “Arthur is everything okay!” 

Arthur had been stupid to even think he could keep Merlin away. The guards would of course allow him as the exception since these were his chambers too.

“Arthur!” Merlin yelled again, he sounded scared. Arthur didn't want to reply in fact he was very close to slipping away through the servant's entrance to escape having to face Merlin so soon. However, Merlin was probably thinking up the worst scenario as he attempted to bang down the door. 

After some more urgent knocks, Arthur took a deep breath and went to unlock the door. Merlin nearly slammed his fist into Arthurs's face as he prepared to knock again. Merlin visibly deflated with relief at seeing him in one piece but his expression gave away to the fear and concern in his eyes. 

Arthur didn't speak. He simply turned around and went over to the window, leaning up against the wall as he pretended to be interested in whatever was happening in the courtyard.

“Arthur!” Merlin asked as he took a few steps towards the King. Arthur finally turned to look at him. “Are you alright?” Merlin prompted.