NO REMORSE

Chapter 13

Macy's POV

I sigh finally sitting down on my bed. I look around my childhood room. Mom is gone to god knows where so i have our house to myself. My phone rings and it's Luca again. I don't answer but i can't bring my self to block him.

I couldn't be there anymore, i couldn't breath.

Guilt

It took over everything, consuming me until i couldn't stand it. Not for Amy, never for her. A better person would but i have never prepared to be one. I felt guilt for Luca. He doesn't deserve me ruining his life over lust.

I

I love him to much to do that. He deserves his pink Princess and the life he has always planned. Not someone that will only turn everything he loves into misery.

It's my gift.

He won't give up on me that's not like him. I had to leave and make sure that i can not be found. Moving out wasn't enough, disappearing is.

I will lose the coming semester and next year. I will come back when he graduates. I need a full scholarship to study. It will set me back 2 years from Medical school but i will still get there.

I can get a job at an actual restaurant now that i have the time. I can get a degree as a practical nurse in 12 months. That will look grate in my aplicación. I-I just need to keep busy so i don't think about Luca.

I touch my cheek with my finger tips. Im crying again, im not used to crying. I couldn't stop doing it when i has packing my bags. I just had to get away and that was the perfect time to do it without him stoping me.

He has a way of getting what he wants from me. It's hard to say no to him so i didn't give him a chance to.

He is confused right now and doesn't know what he actually wants in life. I know what mine is going to be like and it doesn't involve ruining everything for him.

Amy is a snobby bitch but is also a sure thing. She will stay get married to him, have as many kids as he likes. They can have cute little trust fund babies together like themselves. A big house where they will see their kids grow.

That's not me, it can never be me.

I hear someone slam the front door. The only other person with the key is mom. She must be back from wherever she was. "Mom!" I yell coming out of my room.

"Macy? What are you doing here? Aren't you supposed to be studying or doing something pointless like that?" Does she even know that it's New Years tomorrow? She's always to involved in herself to notice stuff like that.

Even if tomorrow is New Years that makes today my birthday. I think she has remembered it twice in my whole life but it's hell on earth if i forget hers. I only did once because i was too busy working. She forgot to pay the rent.

Again

"No school starts a few days but im not going this semester or next year." She smiles and actually hugs me. "Finally" i frown looking at her.

"Now i can introduce you to some of the wealthy man i know. They are to young for me but they are perfect for you."

Of course my mother wants to whore me.

She takes my face in her hands frowning. "Ugh you took after your father but i can work with this. It would be easier if you were redhead, people love redheads." She plays with her hair while i roll my eyes.

I need to move out as fast as i can. She is in her 50s AND she looks older too, it's just embarrassing. "That's not happening. Im working for what i get like always and i will continue my studies later. For now I will focus on getting a nursing degree."

She groans letting go of my face. "You are such a punishment. Instead of taking after me you somehow ended up like Darling." Why does she always ends up comparing me with Luca's mom.

She obsess.

"I have to go." I walk past her walking out.

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2 weeks later.

I tap the counter getting Francisco's atención. He smiles handing me the plates filled with hot food. "Table 7." I balance my tray back to the table. I started at the dinner 4 days ago.

It took me longer than i expected to get a job but most people didn't like the fact that my waitress experience came from a strip club. Apparently they don't know the difference between a waitress and a stripper.

They judge them so much. I bet that the girls i used to work with are better people then they are.

I used to study here when i was in high school so i knew most of the workers already. The owner Francisco included so he gave me a chance. I put the food down fake smiling at the customers.

I hate that part.

I started the nursing program 10 days ago and it's very easy, to easy but then again it's just for a practical nurse so i don't know what i was expecting. My phone rings in my back pocket and i don't have to check it to know that is Luca again. 

He calls me at least 5 times a day every day. It's not helping me forget ever meeting him.

The fact that his so tall i had to get on my tiptoes and he had to bend down to reach my lips. The way his entire body shakes when he laughs wholeheartedly.

I miss everything including his kicking much to my surprise. I just can't believe that after 2 weeks his still calling. I groan answering.

"Babydoll?" His voice.

"L-Luca i need you to stop calling." I walk out of the dinner. "Why did you leave? I don't understand. Where are you?" I couldn't help but cry. He sounds so sad and i did that to him im just a few months.

I cleaned my face. "I just had to leave and im not going back. I think you were getting the wrong idea about what we were doing so i left. You got to clingy for my taste." I say to him in the must hurtful way i could.

He takes a cheeky breath "that's..that's not true. I know you babydoll, i know what you are doing but you don't have to. Please don't push me away." I put the phone against my chest looking up.

I clean my face before putting the phone back in my ear. "I think you over estimate your self Luca. What did you think? That i loved you and we would walk into the sunset. Don't be ridiculous."

"I know your lying." His voice cracks.

"Just leave me alone. Go marry your princess and stop bothering me. It was interesting knowing you, until i got bored." I hang up before walking back inside. A waitress looks at me and frowns. Francisco walks to me. "You can take the day."

I shake my head. "I just started I'm not doing that. I just need to go to the bathroom for a second." I walk past him to the bathroom.