NO REMORSE

Chapter 28

Macy's POV

Im supposed to be in class but i won't focus anyway so i didn't see the point. I came to the dinner instead. I told Francisco and Christina what happened and what i think i should do.

They have been yelling at me for the past 25 minutes and it's not helping. "You kept her because you wanted to be her best chance." Christina groans sitting down. "Maybe that was another mistake. Her best chance is with Luca. He will become amazing dad."

Francisco shakes his head. "You are an amazing mom Macy. You have done so much for your daughter. Do you really think you could leave and forget her?!"

He.is.pissed.

"I can't, this will probably destroy me but i need to stop being selfish. This is what's best for her Luca is right. I will mess her up like my mom did with me." I sigh.

"She has a dad,grandparents and an entire family that will make sure she's safe but i refuse to mess her up like i just did Luca. The way he looks at me is so cold and distant. I never want Alice to look at me like that."

Francisco finally sits down.

"She will when she comes looking for the woman that left her one day with her dad just because she was scared. You are absolutely nothing like your mother but if you do. THIS would be the biggest mistake you have ever done." He calmly taps my hand.

"I don't know what to do." I whisper looking out.

"Sure you do, it's just easier to run than to stay and work through it. I didn't think of you as a quitter after everything you done with work school and your daughter. Work with Luca at being parents or a relationship if you still love him."

I shake my head at him. "I never said i did and his not making that mistake twice. He left last night to go home to his wife right after we." I look around and i know they got it. "He had never left me on my own right after. I was just a warm body to him."

Christina moves to my side and hugs me. "What are you going to do Macy?" I look at Francisco. "Im not a quitter old man." He laughs making his belly shake. "Im aging like wine."

Christina and i laugh looking at each other. "More like fish left out in the sun." I joke sticking my tongue out. They never fail helping me forget my problems, even if it's just for a moment.

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I look at Luca feeding Macy. "Abre para papa." (Open for dad) i frown looking at him and to my surprise he smiles at me. "I always said that my kids would know Spanish."

I nod afraid to say anything that would make him mad and ruin the moment. I can stay as long as i stay on the side lines.

He waits for me to say something but i don't so he looks back at Alice who is whining because she just wants to eat.

I have to go to Marco's so i know what i missed today and get the notes i asked for. I get up and move to the door but Luca looks at me.

Afraid?

"Where are you going?" I point at the door. "Marco's" he frowns getting up. "Why?" Great i already made him mad. "I need today's notes." I turn to leave but he holds my waist from behind. I close my eyes enjoying his touch.

"You didn't go to class. I came to get you but you weren't there. I wanted you to come pick Alice up with me and meet my parents." I frown and turn around. "You WANTED me to come?" He nods looking down at me.

"We both need you Macy and yes we want you here.....don't leave." He lays his forehead against mine. "Im just going upstairs to Marco's." He sighs "i shouldn't have said that. Your not like her Macy."

He holds my face on his hands. "You need to know that you are way better than your mom and you are nothing like her. She made all of those mistakes because she's a selfish person. You made your own out of love and fear. Forget her words and hear mine."

I try to step away but he doesn't let go.

"You are amazing, magical, smart, beautiful God so beautiful, you are stubborn and kind of mean to other people but you protect own. Even if it was wrong you thought you were protecting me then our daughter. She needs you and she loves you."

"I look down but he moves so im looking at him again.

"We can't get past this if you run again. Macy i was a mess without you. What do you think would happen if you leave again. Leave me and Alice behind? I can't live in fear that every time you walk out that door you're not gonna come back. I need to trust that you're going to stay."

I take his hands from my face. "Who told you?" He smirks "as much as i hate him. Marco told me yesterday." He looks down. "I was a dick to you, i don't ever want to treat you like that. Specially last night when i left you on your own."

I nod. "I get it Luca, there's no us and we will move on but we need to get over ourselves and focus on Alice." He looks up and was going to say something as i walk past him to the living room but i speak before him. "We need a schedule."

I can't get the notes tomorrow.

He frowns following me. "For what?" I sit down and start to feed Alice myself. She's my daughter and i won't be afraid to touch her in front of him anymore.

"We both have classes and i have work. We need to make a schedule for Alice. If we're going to coparent we're going to do it right."

He smiles amused with my mom mode and sits down in front of me. "Okay what do you suggest?" I nod looking at Alice, she is so big.

"I get her Monday to Wednesday and you get the other days. When it's our day we decide who's going to take care of her whether it's your mom, daycare or her godmother."

He stops me. "Hold on she has godparents?" I look at him. "Just a godmother so you can pick a godfather. Maybe your brother or Eric." He clears his throat and i know he does it when his uncomfortable.

"Okay i will talk to Gabriel and i want to meet her godmother. Why do i get more days?" I look back at Alice while she looks at her dad.

"We also need to do the paperwork so we have shared custody. You need more time with her and it's just one extra day." Alice is done eating so he picks her up. "We do but i don't like that......we can share Sunday's."

I look at his muscular back as he walks away with our daughter on his arms. Why is that so fucking hot?

Stop!

"Why would you do that? You would have to see me." He chuckles and i close my eyes focusing on that sound. He can move on but i don't think i can.

I had two years to do it and im still melting at everything he does and he has a wife.

"I don't mind, we could have a family day....Alice's family. We could do trips, park, pool stuff like that." That sounds nice. And normal, it's weird for me. "Sure."