NO REMORSE

Chapter 14

Luca's POV

No no Babydoll what did you do? Why didn't she tell me she was moving out? I grab my phone to call her again but she doesn't answer me again. I groan rushing out of the room and out of the apartment forgetting Amy and my suitcase.

Maybe she's at my place like last time. I stop before getting on my car. Im lying to myself. Why would she say goodbye on a star which was obviously meant me if she was going to my place.

I get in and drive to her work.

I don't know if she will be there but i need to do something. I can't just stand and wonder. I drive like a maniac running into the club desperate for answers. I look around until i see Dimond.

I take long strides to her. "Dimond." She turns around but frowns when she sees me. "Luca? I thought you would stop coming." I came back here every time Macy had to do a night shift. "Why wouldn't i? I need to talk to Macy is she here?"

Her face turns into a sad one and i know what she's about to say i don't actually want to hear. "Macy? She quit. She came 2 days ago to talk to Lidia and after quitting she said goodbye. Why don't you know that?"

I run my fingers threw my hair. "She left our trip early. She didn't answer my calls and her room is empty. I don't know where she went. Do you? Please Dimond if you do." She interrupts me.

"If i did i would tell you but i don't. She didn't seem right. I had never seen her sad but that's all i know." I nod walking away.

Why would she quit and say goodbye when i can still find her at school. 2 more days and we have a class together. If she doesn't go to it i know her other classes too.

What's the point?

I slowly open the door of my apartment. I know it's stupid but i still had a little bit of hope that she would be here, she's not. I

walk to the kitchen to get a beer. I don't drink but Eric leaves beers in here and i need it.

I did this, i knew that if i pushed her to mush she would step back. She told me herself that she does with everyone else. I called her mine, my girl and told her i have feelings for her. I didn't know then that it was love.

I was only thinking of myself when i said those things. I didn't consider how scared that would make her.

"Fuck!" I throw the glass beer bottle across the room making it crash.

I know i will find her.

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2 week later.

I am the first one in class again. I see as every person walks in hoping that she will walk in behind them but she never is.

The lecture starts and the professor closes the door. I groan running my hands through my face.

"Are you okay? And where have you been? I haven't seen you since we came back and Amy is worried about you. She said you left without a word. You aren't answering neither of our calls." Eric whispers clearly worried.

I grab my bag, if she's not here i don't need to be. Im tired of looking at the board, day after day knowing she isn't writing next to me.

"Where are you going?!" The professor yells behind me but i don't stop walking until im out and at my car.

Maybe she's at the library now. She wasn't there all the other times but maybe she is now.

I look all over the enormous library. I sigh sitting in the same seat i did months ago with her across from me. I miss her reading my mind. I was so angry about her date with Eric.

I didn't have to say a word and she understood. She said she wouldn't date him after that. I was mad and avoiding her and she still kept her word.

I put my face in my hands. She's not the person she thinks she is. She is so much more.

I get my phone to call her again. I was about to hang up when she answered.

♾♾♾Luca's drunk mind♾♾♾

I laugh looking at Alice turn bigger than the room. I wash the movie for the first time because Macy always said not to. That i wouldn't like it but i do.

She finally fell down the rabbit hole like she always wanted.

Eric appears out of nowhere scaring the shit out of me. "W-who... how the fuck did you get in?" I laugh holding my chest. He frowns looking around my apartment before kicking a beer bottle. "Your drinking."

I tap my nose "bingo." He looks at the tv for a while before groaning looking back at me. "Alice in wonderland? Like Macy's present. She leaves and you fall apart......Did you like her."

I shake my head "of course not!" I laugh and he takes a breath of relief.

"I love her." I add. "What?!" He snaps as i nod. "we where together ever since your wel-welcome back party. Then i scared her off and she went down her rabbit whole, look."

I point at the tv laughing. He sits next to me frozen in shock. "How could you? How could either of you look at Amy every day and pretend everything was fine?"

"It was like..like meeting her was destiny. She didn't feel like a stranger. I knew her before i meet her. We can read each other's mind you know." He looks at me but i don't know what his looking for.

"Are you saying she makes you feel what your parents told you to wait for?"

All consuming love. "Yes. Hey did you know her mom and my dad dated? For YEARS!!" He burst out laughing.

"Now i think your too drunk. Where is she really?" My smile falls "i have no fucking idea. She's not coming back.

Once she gets something in her head there is no changing it. She thinks that leaving me is what's best for me. That im better off with out her."

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1 week later

Amy keeps pacing around making me dizzy. "I can't believe you did this. Our plans." She stops and sits next to me. "I-im sorry." She whispers.

"I know that being a doctor is your dream. I just worry that you will be to busy studying. Then with work to start a family. This will take so long."

She has been ranting for 2 hours since i told her that i changed my business mayor.

Im going to become a doctor. I lost Macy i feel like this is a way to be closer to her in some way. She makes me fearless even when she's gone. She believed i could do it and i will.