NO REMORSE

Chapter 22

Macy's POV

I try to breathe and pay attention to the road but my hands won't stop shaking. "Fucking stupid!" Why would i kiss him back?

I say that like i could resist. I can't have him near me. He intoxicates the air around me and i can't think straight. I need to think!

When i saw him the first day i thought about grabbing our daughter and running away again but i can't.

I can't loss another year. What other school would take a chance on me when they see i quit this one the first day.

And i picked this one because they have on campus daycare.

I stop at the daycare rushing in to get Alice. "Name?" The old woman smiles. "Alice, Alice Nightingale." She nods. "ID?" I look for my students ID handing it to her. "Okay honey, give us a minute." She gives it back.

I nod taking a seat but it's not long before Alice comes out running to me making her pig tails bounce. "Mom!" I pick her up making her squeal. I hold her close to my chest walking back to the car.

I sigh leaning against the car. "Im so sorry." I kiss her head. "i'm selfish for keeping you apart but i can't risk him take you. He loves you and he doesn't even know it, all it would take is for him to know you and he would fall in love with you and hate me."

She starts to play with my hair.

I clean a tear from my face, I fucking hate crying. "Let's go home little star." I put her in her seat and kiss her nose. "Papa and mom love you little star."

We had a big day today so i lay in bed with her instead of staying up to study. I think she felt that i was sad because she wouldn't leave my side. I tried putting her in her crib but she wouldn't let me so she's laying on my chest.

I usually don't let her mostly because she's definitely her father's daughter and she won't stop kicking.

I listen to her little snores looking up at the stars. Luca's stars wouldn't stick to the ceiling after taking them out of the diner apartment.

I put those in a clear jar with the label papa's stars. i put it on her bedroom shelf and got new ones and ones for my room too.

"Im sorry little star i can't risk it but papá loves you." I whisper falling asleep thinking about the kiss.

I missed him.

♾♾♾♾♾♾♾♾♾♾♾♾♾♾♾♾

I look at her toddler car seat at the daycare parking lot shaking my head. "He almost saw it." I bit my lip.

I have to take it off before class and put it back at day care. Putting and taking out that thing is a bitch. I groan taking it off.

Fuck.

I move it to the trunk after 15 minutes of figuring it out. It barely fits with the stroller but that's better than Luca seen it.

I know he won't give up. I should have let him thought that what my mom said was true. He could hate me but i couldn't stand the way he was looking at me. I close the trunk getting back in the car.

I look around the making sure that his not here. I grab my books practically running to my lecture. I have one class then a 5 hour shift at the hospital so i need to put my scrubs in the bathroom after the class is over.

I would get to work 30 minutes earlier but i need the distraction.

I was almost at the door when an asian girl grabs my upper arm. "Who do you think you are. You bitch." I take my arm back. "Who are you calling a bitch?" She scoffs and i wish i could punch her but i can't get in trouble.