dehydrated

rainy days cause odd thoughts

The rainiest of days, the wildest of thoughts, no-one has anything else to do then think to themselves about unspecified odd things- my mind buzzes as i look down at the starchy swamp people have the nerve to call grass these days. It's not too unusual for this type of weather on a Wednesday morning.

The sudden thought of what time it is hits me straight in the face, i glanze down at my silent phone and switch it on, no notifications, as usual even though i know i have no friends it still hurts my heart to see the blank phone screen.

The time reads '7:32' not too bad for me. The shirtless picture of Chris Evans stares back at me, making him my locksreen was the best decision i have ever made, or worst, who can tell. 

I pick myself up out of bed and somewhat sprint to the toilet. My sisters are so annoying, always in there when i need to. Luckily for me, no-one appears to be in there. It is quite early for me, normally i just turn my alarm off when it dings but i was already awake when it chimmed this morning. 

One positive for not getting any sleep:being the first to use the bathroom. 

By this time I'm done and now zipping up my fly, i usually forget it but, todays different i guess. 

My pace slows when walking down the stairs because knowing me i will be out of breath by the time i get to the front door. My house is...average we are more on the poor end of middle class but we aren't broke or anything. My rooms the smallest due to the twins wanting the bigger room.

The girls wanted to share, so they got the other big room, Lottie and Fizz, my big little sisters.  

I peer at the wrecked living room before pulling my hood over my head covering my knotted locks, shit, i forget to brush my hair once again. Tomorrow i will tidy up the house and brush my hair- if i keep telling myself that i will one day believe it. 

The front door slams like it usually does and i stand under the porch deciding on the best route to get to school. Most likely: running. I wonder how many people watch me run down my drive like a chicken before taking a swift left turn then and run down my avenue.

I have always enjoyed being inside snuggled up in the warmth of my bedroom sipping on a nice cup of tea watching compilation videos of Chris Evans shirtless. But when you're outside, running to school in the rain it's completely different. 

I run out of breathe quite quick and come to a small stop. Regret fills my viens and i feel like crying. But as i have learned from past experiences, crying is not the solution for everything, shocker.

I take a deep breath and continue the walk to school. Today may not have started how I wanted it too but it can only go up from here

~~

I eventually reach the beloved high school that I happily attend on a daily basis, the parking lot is packed with mostly Jeeps. Apparently they're all the rage at the moment I'm not too sure whats so appealing but hey ho.

The most popular people sit in there cars waiting for the what seems like a storm to pass.

They watch as I stroll pass, stuck up wankers is all they are. Think they are too good for a bit of rain.

The girls could all pass as Americas next top model and most of the guys could be on the back of my boxer box. Well most of them, some haven't even hit puberty yet. which doesnt make sense cause we are in the 10th grade but why do i give a shit about they boys in my school, i have Chris Evans. 

Compared to Chris Evans the dudes in my school are middle schoolers.

Lost in my thoughts once again (this happens multiple times a day) i realise that I've forgotten my backpack. what the actual fuck. 

I stop dead in my tracks. The rain does seem to be clearing up, that's a positive for my very, very negative day. The light rain pitters on my back. Ugh what is wrong with  me. 

I feel my eyes swell up but take a deep breath. Not today. If deep breathing wasn't a thing i think i would be dead. 

I pull my phone out, still no new notifications. 

Looks like i am gonna get a detention.

But fuck it. Why should i care. 

~~

A normal class for me consists of sitting at the back of the classroom, drawing on my left hand until the lecture finishes then doing the same thing again next period.

First period hasn't even started yet and i already want to leave.

The signs on the walls showing past student make me sick, overly happy fake grins plastered along there beautiful faces.

What would it be like for your teachers to actually like you? 

I get pushed through the corridoor like I'm invisible. Just because you don't have a social status doesnt mean you don't exsist. Well it does when you aren't on a sports team or in a social club in 10th grade. 

I pull out my headphones, the sweet sounds of The Fray slowly disappear from my eardrums and I step into my beautiful french classroom that 'j'adore' with all my fucking heart. 

I enter the classroom and to my dispear, someones sitting in my seat? 

This jackass has his feet on MY desk, with his head leaned back. I'm not taking this shit. Today has been such a shit day I'm not taking this shit off anyone. No matter how many friends he has. 

I start to make my way over when I realise that I've never seen this guys face in my life. Who does he think he is?

"Hi, Excuse me mate, this is my seat."

Upon the sound of my voice he seems a little shaken, he peers up at me (only slightly, I'm quite short) and looks at, what feels like my soul. No-one has ever looked at me with that much presence before, usually people just look straight through me. From one look I feel naked, his green eyes feel like he's heard all my secrets.

I can feel my face flush, not because i find him attractive or anything but because i feel stripped of all that's in my mind. 

"Oops, You know you can get ink poisoning from that shit all over your hand"

I-

The nerve of this bellend. He comes to this school (assuming he's new) steals my seat, then tells me how to live my life. fuck no.

"I'm sorry Curly, I dont care. Can you just get the fuck out of my seat."

The people that seem to have been talking to him are watching intently. I feel my fists cleanch up and I want to strangle him. 

With my sudden change in attitude he removes his black, neatly polished Doc Martins from my desk. Revealing the rest of his body to me, He seems to be wearing tight black skinny jeans and a sage green loose shirt. 

"Take a picture, it lasts longer, darling."

The sudden responce nearly makes me jump.

From someone elses point of view it probably looks as if i was staring at him but i wasn't, i was analysing him.

My conclusion :absolute wanker.

And I'm not putting up with a dickhead like this today. I'm so over today, and it's not even 10 o'clock.

"Are you going to get out of my seat or not?" 

"Not."

He smiles up at me and places his feet back on the desk, furious. He turns to the crowd of 3 people and continues the conversation like I'm not there.

At this point I could strangle the well-groomed dickhead infront of me but instead i stroll to the front of the classroom and plonk myself at the front desk.

One of the only days I actually bother to come to school, I get treated like this.

How can one person have so much attitude and be so rude?

And how does he already have so many more friends than me (well it's not hard having more friends then me, considering i dont have any).

What a great fucking start to today.