dehydrated

millions of pieces

"Where have you been Louis?" The first thing Lottie shouts at me when I step through the door.

"I went to a party alright?" I'm too tired for this. Todays such a shit day and it's not even six o'clock yet.

I slip off my shoes and don't bother to move them from the place they landed. Why the fuck is Lottie awake, and why does she care?

I stumble to the staircase not bothering to say another word to her. 

"Good night louis." Odd. Very odd.

I run up the stairs and jump into my room. My door quickly shuts behind me, I don't even bother to remove my clothes before diving into my nest.

The window above my headboard is pitch black, my bedsheets, comfier than ever. 

I try to catch my breath. It feels like I that's all I've been trying to do today is breath.

My eyes slowly grow tired and my brain slowly drifts off into slumberland.

When my throat closes, my heart stops.

Where is my fucking phone

Shit. Shit. Shit.

~~

Unlike every other day of my sad, sad life, I'm woken up to the sun beaming through my open window. 

The smell of freshly cut grass fills my nostrils and the sounds of sparrows fills my eardrums, what sweet creatures.

The change of volume is drastic, last night it felt like I would be deaf by the time the party ended but this morning it feels like I'm straight out of a movie. It's so peaceful. Calming.

I sit up, normally my alarm would go off and I would have too hurridly get ready for school, realising I slept through my other alarms. Or getting woken up by Lottie screaming at me about making her breakfast or driving her somewhere.

However, today (because it's a Saturday) I have nothing planned and can just relax. 

I yawn and stretch before slowly hopping out of bed.

I suddenly feel peckish for some toast. Or whatever we have in the house.

~~

As i reach the end of the staircase I'm greeted to the sound of familiar voices in the kitchen.

"What has he done this time." The voices don't seem to know that 'he' is awake. The disrespect.

"Well...I hate to tell you this Ms Tomlinson but last night Louis-" Zayn? What the hell is he doing in my kitchen? And what is he about to tell my mum?

"Hello! I'm awake! Zayn? Can I speak to you for a second?" If I didn't interrupt him, I'm not sure what he would tell my mum.

"Mornin' Lou, of course," Zayn looks up from my mother and makes eye contact with me "One second Ms Tomlinson." He walks through the doorway into the lounge. I follow behind, making sure the door is shut behind me.

"Zayn, what's happening ? Where is my phone? What have I 'done'? and why the fuck are you here? in the politest way possible?"

 Everytime I speak to Zayn, I seem to bombard him with questions. It's like I intend it too happen, but I really don't.

"Well good morning too you too, Louis." 

I cross my arms over my chest and tap my foot on the beige rug, If it was up to me it would be cream but then again- not my house.

"Okay well, I'm here because of last night. I have your phone here aswell but-" 

"You have my phone? Oi Oi!!! Give it 'ere then," I extend my arm out and wait for him to hand it too me. I honestly thought it would be gone forever.

It must have accidentally dropped out of my pocket while i was sitting in the bedroom with him last night.

"Louis.." He reaches into his back pocket slowly, I hear mum and Lottie laughing away in the room next door.

It feels as if he's taking a long time on purpose.

"I found it like this..."

He reaches it out towards me. The screen shattered into millions of pieces. This couldn't have been done by it dropping repeatedly but more like a hammer. On purpose.

"Oh my god." I stare at my once prized posession, trying to switch it on but to my luck, no revale.

"Louis I'm so sorry." I feel his beady eyes on me. I still dont look up from it.

"Where did you find it?" Still not looking up. My body still, so this is what being shellshocked is like.

"Well I was walking to yours this morning and..."He pauses, almost as if he is hiding the truth.

"Well? Where?"

"In the gutter, outside your house." 

I finally look up to him. He seems genuinely sorry.

I nodd. Before shoving the phone in my pocket.

"So, If you where already coming over..Why?" Already over this interaction I fold my arms back over my chest.

"Well...Last night, when I found you. There was the group of jocks huddled around you, to be honest, I'm not sure what they were doing but when they were done. They left you on the floor stripped down to your boxers mate."

"What." This wasn't a question of 'what?' but more of an 'Excuse me. How dare you'.

"Yeah... I put your clothes back on just before you woke up."

"Why am I only finding out about this now." I fucking knew this day was too good to be true. Everything good always comes to an end. That end is now.

"Last night, or this morning however you want to look at it," he inhales, "You where already having such a shit time. I didn't wanna make it any worse." 

I nodd. Trying to process the information that was less handed to me but more thrown at me.

For the absolute fucking life of me, I can't remember anything after drinking a little bit of something. Then waking up with Zayn next to me. What was in that god awful drink?

I cover my eyes with my hands. Really resisting the urge to break down. 

"Why can't I fucking remember Zayn?" My throat starts to itch. My eyes can't help but swell up.

Why am I like this? It's all my fault. My phone. Getting found basically naked. I hate me more than anything in this world.

"I'm sorry," I apologise, it must be so awkward for Zayn to have to watch this

He takes a step towards me and bends just that little bit down. Closing that height gap between us. 

He whispers in my ear, "Some of the boys are coming round later and we're gonna do some lines. You can come if you want." He smiles at me before remaking that distance once again.

 I wipe my eyes and nodd. I fell my cheeks start to puff up. Fuck this.

"I would love too."

Zayn smirks before turning to re-enter the kitchen. I stay behind.

I may only have known Zayn for a week (not even that) but he really does know how to cheer me up.

I hop to the kitchen after giving myself some time to cool down.

Silently hoping no one points out the fact that I've been crying.

"Louis, have you been crying? What has Zayn said? I'll knock him out." Lottie looks up.

Ugh.