"Are you even hearing yourself right now? This is why we believe you're fully competent for this initiative. Whatever you've gone through has been training you for these moments. You don't ever stop fighting, there's always another threat. A threat...
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"Where are you going?" came the slurred words of Thor, he had already taken multiple gulps from the bottle of vodka that I begged him not to drink.
"Away," I said simply, having to gulp down my rising emotions. I would not break down in front of him, I won't show him how I'm really feeling, not when he's basically told me he doesn't love me the same way anymore. "I can't be here - in this house - with you."
I pushed open the bedroom door and pulled out the suitcase under the bed. I could hear the heavy footsteps of Thor coming up the stairs. I ignored his calls and shouts, he was hardly in the right mind to even say anything worth listening to right now. I pulled at the cupboard door and the drawers beside it and packed just a few things that I first laid my eyes on, just wanting to get out of here as soon as possible.
"How long - how long will you be gone for?" said Thor, finally getting to the landing.
I didn't even want to look at him, knowing that if I did, my tears wouldn't be able to stop.
"I-I don't know, Thor," I sighed, shaking my head. I grabbed a few pairs of shoes and stuffed them into the already full case. "I just need to go. Have some time alone."
I pressed my weight on the suitcase to close to zip while Thor babbled behind me. Words of falseness, telling me not to leave. I blocked him out. How could he go from telling me he's lost his feelings for me and he doesn't care about me, to this? He was already going back under the influence and I knew I couldn't believe a word that he was saying, even though every part of me willed me to.
I picked up my suitcase and brushed past him. This time he didn't follow me and I was glad, it would be easier this way. I slipped on my shoes and tugged on my jacket. I took a final look at the house before stepping into the cold, outside air, not knowing how long I'd be gone.
As soon as the icy, whipping breeze hit my face, the tears fell like the Fountain of Youth, streaming relentlessly.
old panteleimonas
I felt like I could breathe for the first time that day when I touched down at Thessaloniki Airport. I just felt so overwhelmed that it was like my throat had closed up completely. The nipping, winter Greek air felt familiar, it felt safe, I felt safe.
My face remained expressionless as I passed through baggage claim. I kept my eyes low and cap slammed tightly on my head as I left the airport, really not wanting any attention at all.
The snow had already settled in Greece, not uncommon for it to start as soon as the winter breeze arrives. I zipped up my jacket all the way to my chin, keeping my body temperature as high as possible. I glanced up as the snowflakes settled lightly on my face and I smiled, reminiscing the times of my youth. Father and I would always visit the castle down in the Old Town in Thessaloniki. The hike up the hill was always eventful, my father almost always having to haul me up on his back.
