ᴍʏ ᴍɪssɪɴɢ sᴏᴜʟ || ᴛᴀᴇᴊɪɴᴋᴏᴏᴋ ✅

єριѕσ∂є 4

Seokjin's heart had been gnawed away at by lies repeatedly told by Jungkook for these fourteen years. He was tired of lies and didn't want to waste his mental energy on those lies.

He almost fell asleep as Jungkook was taking a shower. When he lay on the bed and scooped Seokjin into his arms from his back, he surprisingly found Seokjin actually skinnier than he looked. He was concerned about Seokjin's condition, but he refrained from showing too much care and only asked, "How much weight did you lose?"

"I don't eat much as I don't have a good appetite recently," Seokjin replied with coldness, whose eyes were full of faint disappointment.

Jungkook didn't notice Seokjin's expression on his face. He began to kiss his back along His shoulder blade inch by inch, which was obviously one of his flirting skills.

"I don't feel like doing it. I'm tired." Seokjin turned to Jungkook and softly pushed him away.

Jungkook didn't mean to have sex at the moment, because he had a lot of sex with his lovers these days. However, he was disappointed to be turned down by Seokjin, who had always been compliant and agreeable. His face darkened a little for Seokjin's refusal, "I've been gone for so long, don't you miss me at all?"

Seokjin turned his back to him and lay down again. He turned off the lamp on the bedside table, "I've caught a cold. I feel unwell. Don't be so wilful and go to sleep."

Jungkook was not comfortable with abnormal behaviors of Seokjin, who definitely hid a big secret from him. However, Seokjin usually didn't speak much and seldom revealed his feelings, so he was hard to be seen through. What was more, Jungkook had been out of home for so many days, he knew he didn't stand a position to accuse him, so he turned his back to Seokjin and decided to sleep.

The eyes of Seokjin were wide open in the dark. He was still suffering from the headache because of the insomnia which had lasted for more than ten days. He expected to be comforted a little by Jungkook's return; however, it only turned out to be a more torturing situation.

Seokjin's mother once doubted whether their relationship could last forever, with no legal protection, no blessing from family and friends, and even no child of their own to bond with each other. How could Seokjin merely depend on love to sustain their relationship? It's doesn't matter if Jungkook loves him, there's always the possibility of him finding a better replacement in someone else out there. People were saying that love would soon come to an end if one party began expecting to maintain the relationship by former affection.

Leaving Jungkook was his last choice, He thought, as he gently turned around to look at Jungkook who was sound asleep. He softly put his arms around Jungkook's waist, whispering, "I don't have more than a year left... I don't care that you have other lovers as long as you keep them outside. I just want to be with you..."

Jungkook who was still in a deep sleep, instinctively held him into his arms at once, and rubbed the soft hair of Seokjin with his face, murmuring, "...Jimin ..."

The tears appeared in the eyes of Seokjin, dropped into the sideburns, and then immediately disappeared. It was too hard to resist Jungkook's gentle love, even if he knew it was just a sleep talk.

It was Seokjin who was courted in the first place, and over the years it was also Seokjin who gave most for their relationship. When their business became stable, Seokjin took Jungkook's advice to retire from work and stay at home to take care of Jungkook; in fact, it was because Jungkook didn't want Seokjin to meet other men. He had no complaint but started to learn to do housework and cook. His shares in the company were also given to Jungkook. Now Seokjin was facing to lose his fortune as well as his love.

Seokjin even didn't have as much money as Jungkook's lovers had. The treatment of his illness costed him a lot. The reason that he asked for more time of consideration was because he was more afraid of revealing his poor financial situation rather than the illness itself.

"Don't be so cruel to me.... I've never really gotten mad at you. But if you continue to bully me, this time around... I really will disappear from your side forever."

After saying that, Seokjin realized how ridiculous it was to say so. He couldn't help wondering whether his life would be totally different if he had chosen another way of life, instead of Jungkook. Otherwise, he would have had his own friends, and a true love for the rest of his life, blessed by his family and friends; he would have had his own happiness as an ordinary person would have.