ᴍʏ ᴍɪssɪɴɢ sᴏᴜʟ || ᴛᴀᴇᴊɪɴᴋᴏᴏᴋ ✅

єριѕσ∂є 56

Taehyung stopped breathing for a moment, he couldn't see Seokjin's look clearly but only his emaciated figure. He stood straight and slightly aslant, hiding still behind the thick curtains.

Taehyung got upstairs, walked quietly to Seokjin. "Do you want more strawberries soup?" He said behind him.

Seokjin slowly turned around and looked at Taehyung with a pair of eyes overflowing uncontainable emotions that were so complicated that he couldn't even read. He shook his head, said nothing, and went straight back to his bedroom.

The moment he walked past him, Tae suddenly grabbed him by his wrist. "Don't leave... okay?"

Seokjin stopped and smiled, his eyes were gentle though. "You just told me to get some sleep, and now I can't?"

Taehyung eased his grip, he lowered his head, pressed his lips, like a kid being forced to do the things he hated. At last, he mumbled, "Do you want to see him?... I... I'm okay with it."

Taehyung knew that Seokjin still loved Jungkook, he also knew that Seokjin had a soft heart, that he might not come back again once the two of them met again. But he still respected his choice. Because he loved him, he didn't want him to live the last bit of his life regretfully and unhappily, and didn't want him to compromise too much.

Seokjin, instead, asked him back with surprise, "Why would I want to see him?"

Seokjin still remembered clearly the day that he decided to leave. He watched Jungkook walking away from upstairs, he just wanted to see his face but that man never looked back. Since he didn't get what he wanted, now Jungkook wouldn't either.

Indeed, he had a soft heart, but that was before. Something was late, then it was late, nothing could fix it. You couldn't ask a cup of cold water to steam, could you? Seokjin found out that Jungkook was as cheap as him because they both tended to fawn on others after being given cold shoulder.

The fawning was pointless.

Seokjin turned around. With a merciless yank, he sealed the thick window shades. "So tired, I'll go get some sleep. Oh... Just ignore him and don't hit him again. Jungkook is the cruelest when he means to harm you."

Taehyung got tongue-tied. He watched him slowly walk away, decisively leaving the past behind. He couldn't tell whether he was feeling lucky or disappointed. He was afraid to see Seokjin leave him but it was Seokjin’s detachment to the world that really dismayed him. Jungkook and Taehyung finally had something in commonm, that was either of them was able to keep Seokjin around. At this point, Seokjin couldn't care less whether the love was true or fake, whether he was hurt or loved. He was just apathetic.

Jungkook was still kneeling outside the door, he just shoveled the medicine into his mouth with his trembling hand. He didn't care if he took too much. Perhaps, more medicine could better relieve the heart pain.

His head was messed up. One second ago, he saw a boy handing him a bunch of jasmines, and the next second, he saw the pair of sad, heartbreaking eyes that haunted and tortured him for countless nights.

"Seokjin... Don't leave me..." Jungkook's eyes were slightly wet. "Don't go too far, I... I can't even keep up..."

In 2003, the night Jungkook took the latter back from quarantine area, he held him tight in his arms, muttering similar words again and again, "Don't go too far... What if something happens to you, how am I going to live my life..."

Jungkook now realized that without Seokjin, he couldn't live his life anymore.

Seokjin sat on the bed with a head full of the scene of Jungkook kneeling in front of the door back straight. That was pathetic and funny.

Jungkook had his chances. For three years, Seokjin had nearly knelt to beg Jungkook not to stay out all night for some meaningless stuff and not to turn him into another person for the sake of their past almost in tears.

But he disappointed himself.

Sometimes, disappointment is more despairing than the end of love.