How To Love

126

Jalanee Coleman

"I'm so tired." I spoke to myself,as I dusted the corners of the house. Currently,I was cleaning up the house. It was a calm day simply because Amira slept through most of it.

I looked over at Kentrell who eyes were glued on the tv as he blew out smoke from his blunt. I rolled my eyes as I walked past the couch he was sitting on.

After our argument last night,he slept in the chair in Amira's room and we haven't spoken since. I just couldn't believe he would get mad at me for grieving the way I am or even atleast try to understand the reason why I do the things I do.

I proceeded to dust the tv stand. I heard Kentrell groan,making me turn my head his direction. He looked like he had something to say,but as we stared at each other he didn't say anything so I resumed my cleaning.

I felt his stare on me as I dusted off the tv. I wondered what he wanted to cuss me out about now.

"You in my way." He finally spoke up,looking up from his phone. Turning around,he had a mug on his face and his feet kicked up on the table.

"Yeen hear me? You in my way. I'm tryna-"

"I promise you I don't give a fuck." I snapped back at him.

"Listen lil lady I ain't tryna argue witchu. You wanna sit in my face and yell at me guh' head. I ain't entertaining your shit." He said,waving me off.

"Don't nobody wanna argue with you anyways."

"Alright na move out the way." He said directing the blunt back to his lips.

"Bitch i know you see me cleaning." I said rolling my eyes.

"Who the fuck you talking to?" He asked pulling the blunt away from his lips. "Mane' move before I make you move."

"Make me move."

He raised his eyebrows at me before standing up. With the look he was giving me right now,I was scared but I still stood there. "You really not gonna move?" He said,walking towards me slowly.

I crossed my arms and we were simply staring at each other,giving each other intimidating looks. Kentrell really couldn't bitch me out anymore,or atleast I wouldn't allow him to. I'm a grown ass woman and I honestly needed to learn that disrespect doesn't fly with me. I wish I been learned it because I probably wouldn't be in the predicament I'm in now.

"I'm not moving." I shrugged. His signature devil-ish smirk appeared on his face as he licked his bottom lip. I smacked my lips and turned around.

"Say mane' you know I love you right?" He spoke quickly. He tugged on my shirt,spinning me around,making me face him again.

I scratched my face up,trying to fight off the smile that I felt forming. "Kentrell what?" I asked with a mug.

"I love you girl." He repeated.taking my hand.

"I'm sorry for going off on you last night,but you was pissing a nigga off." He said giving me that adorable look of his. "Ion like when you not fucking with a nigga. You know I be wanting to tell you every little detail that come in my head,who I'm suppose to tell that shit to do when you don't fuck with me?"

"And I wanna say,I'm sorry for all the shit I put you through. I come with a lot but you still deal with a nigga. And I swear to you,I'm not gon put a end to this shit. You don't need to be going through all this shit just to love me." He said biting his lip,nervously.

"Kentrell it's fine. I just don't want stuff to be weird between us anymore. You shouldn't feel like this is your fault." I said looking up at him.

"I know." He swallowed a lump in his throat. "I just feel that way. Some bad shit always happening to me,I look the other way when some shit happen. Ever since you been fucking with me ain't no good come out of it."

"How can you say that?" I asked chuckling while shaking my head. "Besides all the bullshit,I love everything about my life with you in it. My life gets a little better everyday with you in it. And you literally gave me the prettiest little girl ever."

He flashed a smile at me,snaking his arms around my body. "You mean that?" He asked with his eyes glaring down at me.

"Mhm." I said.

"Promise me you ain't gon be pushing me away anymore. Ion like flashing out on ya ass." He mumbled.

"I promise."

"So what we gonna do?" He asked,sliding his hands down my back.

I shrugged and took a deep breath. "I don't know..."

"Youn want me to kill the bitch. So what we do?"

"We'll just press charges,like Montana suggested. I really feel like this is just Karma from Dave..so much bad stuff has happened since him." I said getting uncomfortable.

"Whatever you wanna do,we gon do." He said.

I honestly hoped this was the right decision. As much as I honestly wanted Jania dead,I couldn't risk the consequence that would have on the people around me,specifically Amira and Kentrell.

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