love beyond borders : An Emotional Saga

It's a hand moving on her body...

After their dinner both of them came outside. Lin didn't leave her hand until they reached the car. Yong got surprised seeing them walking holding their hands.

In their return journey Ammu thought about their conversation. How strange is life I humiliated him and he did give me back the same ten times more what I have done to him and still he is not satisfied. Now he wants to kill me with his love. How differently he thinks, killing one by loving. Is he not scared for himself,. In my entire life I have never given importance to beauty and appearance but for the first time I feel inferior in front of this arrogant man.. no..the husband of mine.

I always felt secured with the disgusting scar on my fair face as nobody gives me a drooling look or unwanted gazes.I don't like to be noticed by my appearance or my beauty since I have went through a trauma during my childhood.

Even now when Iam independent and know how to protect myself still can't overcome that fear. My parents, grandparents, relatives and friends often compelled me to remove this scar but I refused as I was afraid to look beautiful....yes Iam scared to be beautiful....to be attractive .

After these two brothers came to my life, I have changed a lot. I started compromising the principles once I upheld firmly .For others it won't be a big deal going out in late hours, spending time with their male friends but me being disciplined by those grandparents who abide by our tradition, culture and custom always regarded such behaviour as vulgar .

I don't have any offence to my friends who do it but I don't like me violating the good deeds taught by my elders. But now I have changed a lot and began to lie to my elders.And as we know once lied we have to remember those lies and say more lies to maintain the first lie. And now I have to keep on lying in my entire life.

Iam really scared on getting married to Lin was a mistake ,as his intention is not what Fuzhi had told me . This would be the utmost mistake that I had ever made in my life, I have cheated my godly grandparents and married on my wish without their permission and blessings. May be it's God's punishment to me for committing such a sinful mistake, that Lin had come up with such unruly plans.

With all these Ammu sat in the car still holding Lin's hand, sometimes her grip tightened and sometimes smoothened depending how her mind wandered along the inner thoughts . Lin also felt something different of her,he let her hold his hand and saw her slowly dozing to slumber.

When they arrived at the apartment Yong got down to open the door for her, she left Lin's hand and headed in to her apartment without her usual polite "Thanks" to Yong. Yong too noticed her nonchalant face.

Lin stared at her back for sometime and gestures to drive.

Ammu slept tiredly and next day she had no office so after household work she practiced classical dance for some time. It's been her practice from childhood to get up at 5:00am and practice dance for half an hour, and then takes good pretty long shower , and then goes to their family temple to pray and finally sit for studying until her grandma calls her to have breakfast.

Wherever she goes her routine of getting early, practicing dance never changed. After coming to China due to work load she often felt exhausted and sleeps lazily, still unknowingly she wakes up early morning as if there is an alarm fixed in her body.

In the afternoon somebody rang her doorbell. It was Fuzhi . After having tea with him he said all that happened on the marriage registration day.

Ammu was shocked to know that Lin had actually ruined their plan and his intention was not pure. She wanted to tell Fuzhi what Lin told her, but she felt embarrassed to discuss it with Fuzhi as by marriage he had become her brother in law.