love beyond borders : An Emotional Saga

Yours and Only Yours Ammu....

After Ammu's funeral and all rituals Lin and Fuzhi is to  return back to China... Lin for the last time visited the house pond, the playground where Ammu used to swing and her bedroom. He saw her smiling photo on the wall  adorned with her favourite jasmine flower garland. Lin felt as if she is teasing him, hiding behind the photo frame. He saw her laptop on the table, the lights blinking as it was not properly shut down. He opened it and saw the mail account still opened and a draft mail addressing his mail id on the screen.

Lin anxiously read the mail as these were her last words to him...

Dear Lin,

I don't know whether I will be alive when you read this mail, Iam sorry Lin for leaving you midway, if possible forgive me. Lin never blame yourself for all those vicious incedents happened in our life, its all fates play. I have long forgiven you cause I know how much you loves me and Lin  you... You are my soul, how can I keep a grudge to my own soul ....Lin please listen to me atleast now... I want you to move on with your life until we meet at the other end at God's wish.

Yours and Only yours
        Ammu....

On reading the draft mail Lin cried and looked at her photo for the last time.

He descended the stairs with heavy heart.Ammu's grandparents were waiting for Lin...

Grandpa : Son, do come to us whenever you have time, and forgive me if my words ever hurt you...

Lin : Please grandpa, don't say such words to me.... It was me who was wrong and God  punished me  by taking my Ammu away....

Grandpa cried and Lin consoled him hugging, he bid farewell to Ammu's grandparents and walked to the car and turned back to look at the upstairs window expecting Ammu to climb down the white jade orchid tree and run to him calling out his name.....

Fuzhi interrupted his thought and asked him to get into the car as he was standing out in the mild rain. Lin raised his face, closed his eyes and felt the raindrops on him... He now understood what Ammu feels while stretching her hands and feels the rain.

Chinnu ran to Lin calling 'brother.. "

Chinnu : Brother... Grandma asked me to give you this...

Lin saw the photo of Ammu and him holding hands... And he looked at grandma with questioning eyes....

Chinnu : (with trembling voice) Grandma kept one before burning remaining photos as... as she knows that... that you are special
... Special to Amm...(sobs) Ammu sister...

Lin hugged and patted Chinnu..., Chinnu looked at Fuzhi who was sitting in the car silent and drown in sadness. She felt sorry for Fuzhi too and  wanted to console Fuzhi  but she don't know what to say as she is just a child. She watched the car until it disappeared at the distant path....

Fuzhi and Lin reached back to their home country... For the first time Lin felt his own country, his kingdom as an unknown world where he has been trapped alone.. He was afraid to step into his villa that is filled with silence, that is mute without Ammu.

Now he was willing to devote his time and ears just for her, he desperately waited at the door and keenly  listened to hear the sounds of her anklets approaching to welcome him home as he usually does. He used to wait at the door to hear  her calling his name with all love "Lin...". With moist eyes Lin entered inside his villa realising there is nobody to call him in, and sat on the couch staring at the photo....

All those days, events and moments flashed and passed in front of him.He wished to bring back those time and wanted to  spend and live each minute no each seconds again with Ammu.

He cursed those days which he wasted on torturing her,humiliating her, not listening to her silly talks, simple advices, long lectures shw gave for small things. He wanted to move back the time to the day when he first met her at the hospital corridor in Dubai that very moment when he idolised her in his heart unknowingly.

He wished while he was busy in loving her and being loved by her, he could have  confessed to her that he even tried to drug her to mark her as his forever and when his plan failed he was so desperate that he drugged himself. He wanted to tell her, that day he pretended again the effect of drug as he wanted more of her. He thought it was just lust, manly desire but no... No.. .it was his obsession, his eagerness to make her as only his at the earliest...

He cursed himself for lying to Ammu on the day she was admitted to hospital that he is busy and left her when she was suffering from his torture and how he restricted the doctor from conducting further tests on her. If he had listened to the doctor's request  she might not hve left Jim, may be he could provide her a better medical facility. IF had known she is dying may be he would have loved her a bit earlier, may be he would have known that she is his soul much earlier. All those "Ifs" tortured Lin.

He thought how mean he was to replace those tablets she was having,  with that he had unknowingly become a homicide of his own child. He misunderstood her grandparents but they did it as they knew already that she has not much time left to live,and also she is not healthy enough to deliver a baby.

Lin with heavy heart went upstairs and lit a cigarette and threw it away as Ammu hates the odour of cigarette smoke .

He felt lonely and always lost in Ammu's thought. He couldn't eat nor sleep well for days,he went to Wang family but all there talkings couldn't distract him from his thoughts, he wished and saw everywhere only her. If at all out of fatigue he sleeps, when wakes up he forgets that  she is no more alive and calls and search for her throughout his villa.

Days and months went by one fine night  it was raining mildly outside, Lin stretched his hand and felt as if Ammu is holding him. He said.. "Ammu you said Iam your soul then why you left your soul here all alone... You took our child with you, Why didn't you take me too with you...."

Lin lied on his bed thinking about her holding their photo and he could no more bear to live without her, he felt his body being squeezed, shortness of breath, his eyes slowly closed without his will, he wished when he opens his eyes again he could see Ammu beside him smiling.....

Lin opened his eyes lazily as if awake from  a long slumber, he felt weightless and floating in the eye blinding fog.He struggled to clear his vision and  when the fogs cleared he saw Ammu sitting beside him smiling...and asked "hey why are you staring at me Lin..."

Lin couldn't figure out  nor did he bothered to,  whether  he is in a dream or  in heaven with Ammu as he was overwhelmed with happiness to see Ammu beside him smiling.... Innocently  with passionate eyes....

Lin stretched his hand to her and she held it intertwining their fingers ...

                  ******THE END*********