irl

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this chapter in a nutshell:

btw, a good song for this chap is louder than bombs by bts <33

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btw, a good song for this chap is louder than bombs by bts <33


[ FLASHBACK: CAR ACCIDENT | 3 YEARS AGO ]

BLURRY. Everything was blurry. And hot. From the top of his head to the tips of his toes, it felt like every part of his body was on fire. His muscles were tense, but he could barely feel himself come alive, his eyes blearily trying to adjust to the light. His red eyes focused on the waves of orange up ahead and then back at the unfamiliar feeling beneath him.

Why am I here. . . ? I don't remember sitting. . . He stopped, breath hitching as he glanced at the steering wheel, realizing it was dotted with red. Bakugo looked down at himself, letting out a loud groan. His entire torso was sore and he could feel sharp pains on his back, his knees even felt weak and his calves were so pained that it felt like each string of muscle was torn apart.

He turned his head to his right, only seeing another pair of eyes greet him. They were a bright emerald and Bakugo's heart stuttered at the sight. Wasn't he. . . sitting on my left? He grew confused, turning his head to the front again only to see the steering wheel. The blond swallowed harshly, barely able to get a word out.

"Nerd. . . " That's all he was able to rasp out.

His throat was dry and his lips were chapped, fire swarming just a few feet away from him. The smoke grew closer and closer to him and the now passenger beside him. "I'm sorry, Kacchan," Midoriya mumbled, suddenly leaning his head back. Bakugo didn't get it, but he could feel himself grow upset.

My head hurts so much. . . why does it hurt. . . He flitted his eyes upward, using all of his strength to push himself up and look over the hood of the car. His breath hitched and his jaw fell slack, hands loosening around the seat as he fell back into it. There was a large strip of metal that curled around the front of the vehicle, a large dent embedded into it.

"I'm sorry," Midoriya cried beside him, forcing him to glance at him once more. Blood coated his cheeks ever so slightly and his pants were torn along with his shirt. There were more dots of red splotched on his hands and arms. Bakugo still didn't get it. What was he so sorry for? Meanwhile, all Midoriya could do was push aside his guilt.

His entire life he had been selfless; he had supported Bakugo through it all and had even accepted the blond's apology after getting bullied by him for so many years. Was it so wrong to be selfish for once? Was it wrong to frame his best friend for a scandal that could've stalled his own career for years?

Bakugo was successful.

He was talented.

Bakugo was someone who could come back from this with little to no issue; so why did Midoriya seem to hesitate now? The worst of it was over. He had moved the passed-out Bakugo into the driver's seat and occupied the passenger's seat. Nonetheless, Bakugo had always been so incredibly lucky.

Meanwhile, Izuku worked incredibly hard to get where he was. He got scammed, rejected, and then scammed again before he could sign a proper contract. Bakugo had gotten an easy deal, he had succeeded in his first film and had quickly become one of the most talented actors in Japan.

Midoriya was still low and labeled as his "best friend", so was it wrong to use Bakugo's popularity as a springboard for his own career? This scandal itself could blow his career out of the water and people would sympathize with him and his music; people would flock to support him, just as he had wished for so many years.

"What the fuck. . . happened?" Bakugo was barely able to make a sentence. Warmth encompassed his lungs and he could feel his throat grow dryer. Smoke curled closer towards the car and Midoriya's sickening guilt only increased. His best friend was in pain and confused, but still had enough trust to ask what happened.

There was no 'what did you do'.

There was no accusatory tone.

Because in his eyes, beside Izuku, he was safe.

Beside Midoriya, he had nothing to question.

Becuase he trusted Midoriya.

Even in the one moment that Izuku didn't trust himself, Bakugo trusted him. And that's what made this betrayal so much more heartbreaking for both of them. "I'm sorry," That's all he could offer. And that's when it hit him. It wasn't an apology for getting in an accident; it was an apology for everything after.

It was an apology for what would happen in the future.

It was an apology for what Midoriya committed to, not his mistakes.

It was an apology for choosing his blooming career over his bonds.

"What the. . . " The blond shot up, fear instantly filling him as he realized what this meant. He tried to get out of the seat, hands pulling against the seatbelt anxiously. He didn't understand why he was in the driver's seat because he was never in it. They were at a cast party and Bakugo had gotten drunk. Midoriya offered to take him home before heading off to his own apartment.

Midoriya was driving. Bakugo had fallen asleep in the passenger's seat. Izuku fell asleep behind the wheel; he got in the accident, pushed Bakugo onto the driver's seat, and chosen to occupy Bakugo's old spot. He had chosen to frame the blond over an accident that he caused and he had chosen to ruin his best friend's career.

That was Midoriya's choice.

"I'm sorry. . . "

"Why—what—" Bakugo's voice faltered, red eyes wide as he stared at Midoriya.

Izuku swallowed harshly, knowing that he could never answer Bakugo's question properly. All he could do was make a vow: a promise that he would return their relationship back to normal. That he would make this all up in the future and be able to be best friends with the same childhood bully turned friend that had relentlessly supported him all these years.

"I'm sorry. . . "

Bakugo felt the last of his energy leave him as his head lolled back.

And as the sirens arrived, he knew that nobody would believe him anyway.

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