Diluc x Reader

50

hello everyone im very sorry for the long wait, i recently had to be hospitalized for private reasons, after recovering i was behind on school and had to prioritize my study over writing, luckily im healthy again now and have the time to write again. that being said i hope you will enjoy the new chapter. <3

trigger warning: anxiety attack

tomorrow came faster than expected, faster than you liked to admit. you were still debating if you made the right choices or not.

it was currently eleven in the morning, you had a decent sleep in the bedroom with paimon accompanying you, just like at wangshu inn.

the four of you were leaving the residence now, to confront childe and ask him how the fatui is in control of the geo archons death.

you were the first to stand outside, you looked behind you to see the three of them leave as well, standing in the door opening. aether didnt have his usual happy and carefree expression anymore. he looked serious and bothered.

not only aether had a different look on his face, paimon had her eyebrows furrowed and was looking worried, as if she expected something bad to happen.

diluc was less talkative ever since he woke up, he had his usual stoic expression on his features but it was evident that he too was feeling not too great.

the tension was thick, everyone was on high alert of their surroundings as they stood outside where you were standing. you had left your backpack inside, next to the couch.

the gnosis however, was safe and sound in your pocket, just like your purple electro vision holder that was attached to the back of your belt, your coat covering it neatly. you reached your hand into your pocket, double checking if the gnosis was still there.

you felt the smooth, cold iron beneath your fingertips and internally calmed down a little, your head tilted up to aether as he spoke up.

"well..." he said uncomfortably, "lets go then." he added and walked straight to the golden house. he didnt even look behind him to see if you guys would follow him, he just went.

that resulted in diluc and you walking behind aether and paimon. walking through the streets of liyue city was no longer a relaxed thing, the tension never seemed to leave.

none of you guys said anything as you walked past the many shops in liyue. all that could be heard were the distant voices of merchants trying to sell their products, the soft chirping of birds and the flowing water from the smaller river below you.

you were still in a dilemma as you continued to walk, you knew you had to fight alongside childe in a few minutes but something inside you screamed to do the opposite.

the fatui was your family, you should be forever grateful to them for saving your life from the abyss. so you choose to help them the way they helped you.

but now you were doubting your own choices, you wanted to continue exploring with aether, paimon and diluc but you should stay faithful to the fatui.

all the doubts from your entire journey started flooding your mind, wondering if you actually wanted to be a harbinger in the first place.

it was as if your windpipe tightened itself, your breaths became shakier as you continued to think if it was right or not without noticing your irregular breathing pattern.

deep down you knew it would come to this one day, the overwhelming sense of dread now seemed to finally show itself.

the moment aether decided to go to confront childe was when you already started thinking. but you just shoved those feelings away and went on with the day.

all your senses seemed to dull one by one, the noises around you faded away as you became too occupied with your thoughts.

the sound of your shoes hitting the stone pavement beneath you slowly started to fade out, as well as the flowing water from the rivers too.

it wasnt too long before you didnt hear anything anymore, you stared blankly to the ground in front of you as you continued to walk with them.

your vision became blurry, you could feel tears swelling up in your eyes, but not enough to make you cry.

your mind was empty but chaotic at the same time. you knew you shouldnt make such a big deal about being a traitor but your feelings somehow overpowered your mind.

there was no emotion displayed on your face, just your usual expression as your head hung low. but this time your mind was screaming as more thoughts entered your head, your chest was tighter than ever and your mouth felt dry.

your thoughts were disorganized and your body started shaking in the slightest bit, starting with your fingertips. you tried to inhale some air in hope that it would calm you down.

the chills and shakes from your fingertips started going down to your fingers and soon your hands were shaking as well.

you felt an uneasy feeling build up in your stomach, as if you could throw up anytime. your blurred vision didnt help much either with the situation as you could barely make out the stonen path in front of you.

you slowly became conscious of your shaken state and parted your lips little by little to inhale the fresh air around you.

it was as if your body didnt listen to your mind anymore, you tried to breathe in but nothing happened. now unable to breath your eyes slightly widened and your vision became even blurrier.

you tried again, to breathe in. but nothing happened the second time as well. your lips parted even more, but this time in a way of shock.

'just.' you thought to yourself as your hands shook more than before while they were hanging on your side.

'just breath.' you told yourself, in a way of calming down. it didnt work. it was as if your lungs were filled with water, as if you were drowning in your own anxiety.

suddenly you felt something brush against the back of your hand. another hand went behind yours and wrapped around your hand. your shaking hand was being held in place despite the shaking.

his fingers entangled with yours, his palm aligned perfectly with yours as he intertwined both of your hands without any hesitation.

the warmth through his gloves snapped you out of your dreadful never ending daze.

you blinked multiple times and your vision became clearer little by little. your tears fading away in the corner of your eyes as your head still hung low.

now slightly tilting up your head you shifted your gaze to your intertwined hand. you saw who it was, the familiar black-red glove was something you could not simply forget.

none of you said anything and let the silence speak for itself. unconsciously, you felt your lungs fill with fresh air again.

you tilted your head back to look at the front and continued to walk to the golden house. your hands were still shaking a little, but this time there was someone to hold them.