"What we have to lose"

59

The time off and the two weeks with Daniel's family in general was over way too soon. We did a lot of things and I have to say I really like it here. I understand that Daniel's sees this as his calm down place.
It's Thursday morning and we are on our way to the track. I decided to do the track walk with Daniel. Whatever it is here in Australia it made me feel good. We arrived at the circuit and were welcomed by his new team Renault.
Daniel was completely focused on each corner of the track which gave me the time to admire him. I love to see that he seems happy again. The last weeks at Red Bull we're not the best for him, but he still left without bad thoughts about them.
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After the interviews on Thursday and analyzing technical data, we went back to the hotel and out for dinner with Charles and Charlotte. We had a lot to talk about since Charles moved to Ferrari to follow in Kimi's footsteps. He will drive along Vettel now. Fridays practices were actually satisfying as well, Daniel seemed to feel good in his car. I decided to stay in his garage for today, go to Max's garage tomorrow and be here again for the race. I think I can manage the 'garage hopping' like this. After the second practice was over, Daniel kissed me quickly and went to his interviews. I told him I'll go to the Red Bull hospitality to meet Blair meanwhile.
While chatting with Blair in the hospitality I received a text message from Daniel: let's do something nice tonight.... I read and didn't realize I smiled. "What has Daniel texted you huh?" Blair asks smirking. "Mhh oh nothing just that we'll do something nice tonight, whatever that means." I said. "We both know what that means." she answered still smirking. I laughed at her comment but couldn't remove my thoughts from his message....
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"I think Daniel will be back soon, see you tomorrow." I said to Blair while saying goodbye. " Have fun." she said and still had the creepy smirk on her face. I arrived back at the Renault's garage and arrived at the same time as Daniel. He pulled me towards him and we went into his driver room. " I'll change and we can finally get out of this goddamn hell hole." he said and changed into his street wear.
While leaving the track we met a lot of Paparazzis. I should get used to it by now but it feels like it's getting more since they figured out that Daniel and I are in a relationship. Back at the hotel we decided to take a bath together and order some room service. While Daniel waited for the food I prepared the bathtub. I decided to put on a robe already and looked at myself while undressing. Even though the chemo is over I still look different. I'm still skinnier and it feels like it got even worse. I have my permanent IV which is obviously not really attractive . The panic took over and I pulled the robe on my body as fast as possible.
"Hey the room Service is here we can go into the bathtub." Daniel said with his typical smile. I nod and walk back into the bathroom, closely followed by Daniel.
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" Let me place that here so we can have a quick grab, are you ready baby?" he asks and looks at me, quickly realizing that my mind is struggling with something. " Are you ok?" he asks worried and sat on the edge of the tub, pulling me on to his lap. I slowly started to feel a few tears running down my cheeks before I could even speak. "I just looked at myself in the mirror and....I don't know but with the IV and my body changing I don't feel pretty anymore....and it made me realize that I may do not look attractive for you anymore." I told him honestly. He caressed my cheek and gave me a small smile while answering "Don't ever think something like that again, you are, under whatever circumstances, the prettiest and most attractive woman I've ever seen. I don't care about the things you worry about, I love you the way you are. And added to that, attractiveness does not only contain the obvious parts of someone, your inside is attracting me as well.". His words were so heart touching that all I could do was hug him, tightly. I kissed him after forming a 'Thank you' with my lips.
I stood up and with my gained confidence I got ready for the evening.
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After a beautiful evening in the bathtub we continued the night in bed. It's the next morning already and I still can't get over the last night. Somehow Daniel made me feel like the most beautiful and attractive person last night. While reviewing the memories I couldn't stop smiling. Daniel, who laid all over me slowly woke up. After a good start in the morning we made our way to the track. "Ok Good luck baby see you later." I said to Daniel and gave him another kiss before leaving to the Red Bull garage. "Good Morning Christian." I said and he greeted me friendly. I greeted everyone else in the garage as well and sat down in my usual chair. "Hello there, didn't expect you to be here." I hear Max behind me. I laugh and pull him into a tight hug. "It's depending on who has the better food." I answered and earned a laughter from him in return. "Seems like you're feeling quite good lately..." he says in a more serious tone "I am." I replied. "You can't believe how happy that makes me." Max says and got ready to get into his car.
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