"What we have to lose"

62

I sat back down on the bench next to Daniel but he was not the same than he was 10 minutes ago. He was not smiling as usual and when I looked at him, he didn't look back. "Daniel what's wrong?" I ask him with a concerned look on his face. "Nothing let's go home it's about to start raining." he replied and jumped back onto his bike. Before I was able to sit on my bike he started riding away. I tried to ride as fast as possible to keep up with him. What the hell happened that bothers him so much right now?

After driving like an idiot to keep up with Daniel for the whole way, we arrived back at my flat. I opened the door of my flat and Daniel stormed inside close behind me and shut the door. "Daniel what's your problem?" I asked and looked at him, I felt myself getting angry at him for his behavior. "What was that with Lando?" he asked and I saw his neck artery pop out. His hands were balled into fists and he breathed heavily. "I talked to him, like I did when I saw him at the track last race." I explained. "Oh you see him on a regular bases." Daniel asks with his eyes wide open. "What no, I came across him a long time ago here in England in a supermarket and ran him over, after that we met at the track from time to time and now that he's a formula 1 driver I saw him in the paddock. We talked for a bit and now we saw him and I talked to him again. What's wrong with that?" I told him and was out of breath because I talked so fast. "So you've seen him before?" Daniel now asks. "That's what I just explained to you?! But I don't get the point, you're ok with Max and Charles being my friends, why not Lando?" I ask confused. "Because he looks at you as if he's in love with you." Daniel literally screamed and I was left speechless. Was it because Lando smiled at me? But we are just friends. We just get along very well. "Daniel you don't have to worry." I replied but he stopped listening. "I go and take a shower." was his reply and he left me standing there.
.
.
.
I sat on my bed and stared out of the window. It started to rain heavy and it seems like there is a heavy thunderstorm awaiting us. Daniel was in the bathroom unusually long. I had some time to think about what he said to me. Did he got so angry because he's scared to loose me? He should know that I would never leave him for someone else. He's the one for me, doesn't he know that?
He came out of the bathroom 45 minutes later and I saw him walking into the bedroom. "Daniel can we talk?" I ask and he nods. It seems as if he's calmed down. He sat down next to me and looked at me with a sad face. "I'm sorry for screaming at you, I didn't mean to. I was furious and couldn't control myself." Daniel explained and took my hand. I placed my thumb onto the back of his hand and draw circles on it. "It's ok, I was wondering if you we're scared that I would leave you?" I ask him and he nods. "Yes kinda, I was jealous as well but I got scared when he smiled at you the way he did. Maybe I interpreted too much into the situation." Daniel admits and my heart melts. "I want you to know that Lando is just a friend like Max and Charles. There is nothing else between us. All I want and need is you. I love you so much it makes my heart hurt. And you're the one who walks with me through all of this right now." I said to him and he looked at me. "Thank you so much, I love you too. I will try not to overreact the next time. And if he's just a friend to you it's ok." he answered and had a little smile back on his face. I nodded back smiling as well and wrapped my arms around him.
.
.
.
The harmony we always have was back between us. I went into the shower as well while Daniel prepared dinner for us. He helped me change the band-aid from my permanent IV and we sat down on the couch with our food. We watched a movie while eating and Daniel had his typical bright smile back on his face. I placed our plates in the dishwasher and walked back to the couch where Daniel opened his arms for me. I laid next to him, cuddled myself into him when he wrapped a blanket around us. He placed a kiss on my forehead and rubbed my arm.
And out of nowhere I realized, that Daniel feels like home. My safe place.
.
.
.