The Help I Need

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Matteo decided it was best that I come home and have our uncle visit to see me. I sighed at the thought, I haven't really talked since everything happened. I mostly just nodded or shook my head to answer.

The boys have been trying to cheer me up, when I came home they had a large teddy bear placed on my bed, chocolates, books I could write in, flowers and much more. It brought a tiny smile on my face but my mind was just a void of darkness filled with bad memories. I sighed and sat down on my bed.

My arms gently wrapped around the large teddy. I nuzzled my face into its fuzzy fur and let out a groan. Suddenly I heard a knock on the door and I mumbled under my breath. "Come in.." I whispered and turned my back to the door. I felt embarrassed and nervous when I heard the footsteps of the person come closer.

"Hello Bella, I'm your uncle Matthew." He said and I looked at him with dull eyes. My eyes scanned over his face, he had bright green eyes, dark brown hair, freckles and a sharp jaw. I feel like I've seen him somewhere. "Are...Are you in movies?" I asked tilting my head slightly.

Matthew chuckled and nodded his head in response. "Yes multiple movies." He said and smiled at me.

"I thought you were a physiatrist?" I asked and he looked at me. "I was, for a very long time, but I became an actor also." Matthew states and I nodded. I bit the inside of my cheek as we sat in silence for a bit.

"Bella would you like to tell me what is wrong? How are you feeling?" He asks softly with kindness in his voice.

I gulped and looked down at my lap. "I-I hate myself.." I mumbled and bit my lip.

"And why is that?" He asks me and I sigh looking up at him. Tears threatened to fill my eyes as I thought back to everything.

"I'm disgusting, and my mind is ruined. All I can think about is everything that has happened. It won't go away..the thoughts." I said quietly and I gripped my bedsheets tightly. Tears rolled down my cheeks and I sniffled.

I started to sob and I hugged my knees. Matthew looked at me and rubbed my back in circular motions. I sniffled and leaned into his chest, "g..get it to stop please." I whispered and closed my eyes tightly.

I always have nightmares, memories of everything that has happened to me. I close my eyes and that's all I see. I just want it all gone.

Matthew nodded and looked down at me. "I can prescribe you medicine for help with sleeping and depression. And you can start going to some therapy sessions with me. For now you can try to write in diaries about your day and how you are feeling. Sounds good?" Matthew said and I wiped my tears away and nodded.

"Sounds good.." I softly said and got out of my bed. I haven't eaten in awhile and my stomach was killing me as it started to rumble.

Matthew chuckled, "let's head downstairs for some food, Lorenzo is making food, we are all going to have a family dinner together." He stated and I nodded as I headed towards my door to go downstairs.

I slowly walked down the stairs, slightly wincing from pain. Matthew followed behind me and when we arrived to the dining room the guys all looked at us.

Matteo looked at Matthew. "Everything alright now?" He asked him and Matthew nodded as he took a seat at the table.

I took the last empty seat which was between Matteo and Dante.

I looked at the food in front of me and I tried to smile "the food looks good Lorenzo, thank you." I said softly and started taking small bites.

My stomach yearned for the delicious food. I shoved more in my mouth, eating the whole plate, but suddenly my stomach starting hurting and I groaned taking a sip of water.

Matteo stopped his conversation with his brothers and he looked down at me. "Are you alright?" He asked me worriedly and I nodded.

"I just ate a bit too much, that's all~" I hummed and leaned back in the chair.

Matteo went back to his conversation with everyone. I sat and listened to the twins silly jokes and Dante complaining about small the gym at our house is. I smiled and closed my eyes trying to enjoy the moment.

Maybe therapy can really help me.. I thought and looked around. I want to be happy and a good sister for them. But I know I can't be that for them right now. A small tear ran down my cheek without me noticing and Gio looked at me.

"Why are you crying?" He asked and set his fork down.

I came out of my thoughts and looked at him. "Huh?" I said and looked back at him.

"You're crying. Why?" He said again and I quickly wiped my cheek. "Oh..I don't know." I said and stood up with my plate. Everyone looked at me and I smiled a bit.

"I'm gonna go clean up." I said before leaving quickly. I felt embarrassed about the tears that's came out. I sighed and started to scrub the dishes in the sink.

When everything was cleaned the guys asked me if I wanted to watch a horror movie and I nodded. It was about 8 pm and we all sat down in the movie theater they had. The twins took a set on each side of me and started eating my popcorn. I gasped and slapped their hands.

"Hey! That's mine get your own!" I whined as they continued eating mine.

Gio and Antonio laughed. "Sharing is caring." Said Gio.

I glared at him and the movie started. I was finally a bit happy with them. As the movie started I got scared already and I held onto Gio.

(Sorry this is kind of short.)

1027 words

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