𝐃𝐀𝐑𝐊𝐄𝐒𝐓 𝐇𝐎𝐔𝐑𝐒 | 18+

Interlude

My sister has always been a person to know what she wants. She always has this determined look in her eyes.

If she wants something, she gets it.

Boldness and confidence molded into a human.

I've always admired her. The way she'd work for everything, stand up for herself and not take someone else's bullshit.

And her beauty is something that catches people off guard. Like a true princess.

Both my mom and my sister have special names. Athena and Aurora.

A goddess and a princess.

Because that's what they resemble. And they act like it.

Whereas me, I act like my name. Elena.

It's a name you can find anywhere. It sounds neat. Precise. Quiet.

I think my mother knew I was going to be a quiet one. To wander alone in school with a handful of friends who all enjoy parties, except for me.

I've always detested that about myself. Asked myself why I couldn't enjoy dancing along to music and laughing with friends, drinking beer, and maybe even smoking a joint.

Why can't I be more like my sister? Who enjoys her life to the fullest and is now married to the love of her life?

I'm eighteen, and she was only a year older than me when she decided to go after the man she knew belonged to her.

While I barely have friends. Let alone, be confident enough to have a serious conversation with a man that isn't my brother, dad, or best friend.

At least I've always had a tight group of friends. Friends who've never judged me and just accepted me for who I am.

Asocial. Needy. Quiet.

Though, said friends aren't with me right now. They're studying at home or in another state. Leaving me to fend for myself.

In university.

I hid my panic attack really well from my parents this morning. As well as my anxiety.

But even though I had trouble breathing and exposing myself to everyone else, I begged my dad to let me have a dorm.

To know what it's like to be independent.

I guess that since my sister didn't have a dorm when she was still in college, they figured that I didn't want to either.

But I want to have a life. To teach myself how to enjoy it and go to parties. I want this.

It's just stressful.

My dad couldn't handle seeing me get comfortable in my dorm room, that's only for me. I didn't want to share rooms, even though I so desperately exclaimed to my dad that I wanted to get to know more people.

Sharing a dorm room is just taking it to the next level. And I'm incredibly grateful to have the choice to get one on my own. Never taking it for granted.

And at least I'll get to have space for myself, to let myself breathe after a long day and without having the fear of being judged.

So, my dad left as soon as he dropped off my suitcases, taking me in a tight hug and telling me that he'll be seeing me this weekend.

With a shake of my head, I chuckle at his dramatic ways. I had to bite back my tears since it felt like beginning a new chapter.

I'll only be going home during holidays or weekends. And as soon as I graduate, I'll be looking for a job and get a place of my own.