Slutted Out

Chapter Eighteen

E V E L Y N 

 I looked in the mirror at my 3-month-old belly. Turning to the left I could see the outline of my baby growing. We were doing good. Our health was great. Me and Dr.Neil became more closer as I told her about the complications from my mother when she asked about my medical history.

It's been so long since I had gone into detail about that day. From what I knew. The day my parents found out about me was the day that my mom found out she had breast cancer. Her doctor had told her. Since they had caught it so late. Her pregnancy would be hard and had a high chance of her dying on the table. She wanted to take the risk. She had wanted a baby so bad. A piece of her here on this earth with her blood.

To say it was rough would be an understatement. She practically was glued to the bed. My dad always said she told him " My baby is worth every day of pain I have. " My eyes began to water. He had told me plenty of things she said. One day she asked him to record her. I didn't find out until my graduation day. That's when she wanted me to see it.

I remember the first time I watched it.

_ _ _ _

"Hey, my little Evelyn. If you are seeing this. I know that I'm no longer with you anymore my love. Just know mommy was sick before we even knew about you, that it is not your fault I'm not with you right now. " Her voice was hoarse but stern and full of love. The camera shifted a little as my dad switched hands. She was in the hospital bed with her hair in a bun while wearing a bun.

" One day you would understand. One day you will have a child of your own - "

" There will be no boys till she 30. " My dad said. She rolled her eyes and smiled. " She will have sex one day if she isn't already. You just guide her down the right path baby" She spoke more so to him. She then looked back into the camera. Giving it her full attention.

"I know you are just as beautiful as you could be. You will accomplish many things in life. Today should be your graduation day. Oh, how I wish I was in those stands cheering your name along with your father. But I know he will be the loudest one out there"

" You damn right." My dad said , they chuckled together as she continued.

" Evelyn spread your wings, baby girl. Make something of yourself. I would be proud of you for any choice you would make. Just know, You will make mistakes. You will feel like you can't go on. But you can and you will. Its life. We would never judge you. We all have to fall in order to climb. If you choose not to go to college. That's okay. Do what makes you happy. " My mother looked down to her belly and rubbed it. " - as long as you are happy"

" I made this choice to carry you. Knowing the price I would have to pay. I would do it over and over again to have you walk this earth. Just know the pain that I'm feeling is only physical. I cannot stress it enough that it isn't because of you. "

" Hold your head up, love. Live your life and be happy. I will always be with you in here" she motioned towards her heart. " You'll be here in about 30 minutes I can feel the contractions closer and closer together. "

" I love you my Evelyn. To the moon and back... "

A knock came from the room door. A large man with grey hair wearing scrubs who I presume is her doctor came in to get her prepared for delivery. My mom looked back at the camera with watery eyes. " This is it, baby girl. I love you so much! " she began to cry. " Give your father hell baby girl. keep him on his toes just for me... Until we meet again."

My mother blew one final kiss to the camera before it shut off.

_ _ _ _

I was full-out crying in the bathroom at this point. My mother gave birth to me a little while later but she hung on until she heard my cry. My first cry out was the last thing she heard as she passed away in the bed. " I need you, mommy! " I screamed as I squatted to the floor with my head buried in my arms. I couldn't do this shit alone. There were just some things that a daughter needs her mother for.

I got through everything on my own. But this, I can't get through this without her. My screams became louder as the tears fell down harder. The door bust open " Baby? Shit! " he rushed down beside me. Trey held me as I cried. I wanted to go home.

I wanted to go back to California.

-----