Dallas Winston - 𝕀𝕞𝕒𝕘𝕚𝕟𝕖𝕤/ℍ𝕖𝕒𝕕𝕔𝕒𝕟𝕠𝕟𝕤

♡︎hit

A/N: modern
Family series
TW: Mentions of suicide
@isabella998843

"Natalie!" Y/n called out. Natalie came running out of her bedroom and y/n picked her up. I smiled at her and she smiled back. "Hi daddy!" She exclaimed and I said hi.

She reached out for me to grab her and I did. "How's my baby girl doing?" I asked. I wiped some of the food from lunch off of her cheeks and she smiled. "Daddy I'm not a baby anymore." She said and I acted surprised.

"You're not?! You know what that means!" I said and she got confused. "What?" She asked and I looked at my wife. "You're gonna have to start doing adult things, like math and grocery shopping and-"

"I'm a baby! I am!" She said and y/n and I started to laugh. I grabbed my phone and looked at the time. "Nat, I have to go pick up your sister."

"Can I go?" She asked and I shook my head. "I'm sorry honey, you have to stay with mama today." I hugged her and put her down and walked up to y/n.

"I'll be back." I said and she put her arms on my shoulders and my hands made their way to her waist. "You better," She said and I chuckled and she kissed me.

I got into my new car and I drove off to the school. I waited in line until Addy found my car and she hopped in. "Hi daddy!" She said excitedly. "Hi honey," I smiled and she reached over the center console and hugged me.

I drove us back home while we sang along to the radio and Y/n was waiting for me outside. I parked and I looked at her confused. "Addy, can you go inside through the garage please?" I said and she nodded.

"Mommy looks mad, what did you do?" She asked and I looked at her. "I don't know," I replied and I got out.

"Hey doll," I said and carefully walked up to her. "You can tell?" She said shortly and crossed her arms. "What'd I do?" I asked and she sighed.

"Why're you back on the anti's. And when were you gonna tell me?" She asked and I felt like I was stabbed in the throat. I gently grabbed her arm and brought her into our bedroom, so the girls wouldn't see the violence that was about to occur.

"Listen, my doctor said it was better for me." I said and she started to cry. "Dallas, you know how you get- you almost got addicted last time, how could you do this to us?" She pleaded.

"I'm just going by what my doctor said Doll, trust me, I wouldn't-"

"'I wouldn't do this to you 0n purpose' you say that every time yet you always do!" She started to get angry with her sadness and I could already see what was gonna happen.

"Don't you think I'm trying too? Maybe this is better for me and you're just being damn selfish again?!" I started to get angry too, and I could tell she wasn't gonna stand for it.

"I'm being selfish? Dally! You slapped me in front of the girls because you didn't want to go to bed last time you were on this shit!" Her tears were breaking my heart but I didn't want to break.

"Yeah but when I'm not on these I want to paint my head all over these walls!" I nearly broke there. It was the real reason I've gone back to these meds. I was about to commit suicide two months earlier, before Addy came into the room bright as a light asking me to go to her tea party. It made me sick knowing she would've found me, the man she adores and looks up to.

"Maybe you should really start thinking more about our fucking family more than yourself." She said, in a low voice. "Daddy stop!" Natalie said and ran in front of y/n.

"Stop yelling at mommy! She's not doing anything!" She yelled but I didn't pay attention to it.

"I just told you that I need fucking help and all you can think about is me thinking more about everybody else and not my mental health? What the hell is wrong with you!" I yelled very loud and Addy ran up to me and grabbed my hands and held them down.

"What are you doing?" I scolded and she looked at me and kept strong. "I'm not gonna let you hit mommy again!" She said and I looked at the girls and loosened up a little bit. "I'm not gonna hit her again guys, I could never do that." I said and looked at Natalie who was silently crying. "They don't know any different, how are they supposed to know? Maybe if you got off-" Y/n began.

"Stop! Just stop! Shut up!" Addy yelled at the top of her lungs. Her small hands still pressing my wrists against the bottom of my stomach.

I got on my knees and looked down and sighed. "Guys I'm not gonna hurt any of you." I said and I looked up at y/n. "I love you guys too much to do that."

"I'm sorry." Addy said and I stopped her. "Don't be sorry, please don't be sorry. You're allowed to be upset about this." Y/n said and also got down.

"I just need a minute to myself. Okay? Then I'll be out and we can watch TV." I said and they nodded and I stood up and I went into my bathroom. I heard them all go into the living room and I grabbed my meds and I looked at them with shakey hands. I threw them against the wall. The bottle broke and they went flying everywhere. I sat down on the tub with my hands in my hair.

Y/n ran into the room and looked around and noticed me. She sat down next to me and rubbed my back. "I'm sorry." She whispered and I shook my head and looked at her with tears falling down my cheeks. I hugged her and she let me cry into her. "I'm so fucking weak, I need help." I said and she rubbed my back.

I heard four little feet run into the room and I felt someone pull on my shirt. I looked at them and Addy reached up and hugged me. Natalie and y/n joined in and I felt a little hand wipe my cheeks.

"Daddy, it's okay, everything is always gonna be okay. That's what you told me, right?" Addy said and I chuckled and nodded. "That's right baby."

Everybody pulled away and Addy looked at me. "I promise. I'm gonna get help and everything will be okay again." I said and she nodded. "As long as you're okay and you don't leave, everything will be okay." I smiled and my heart melted and I felt like my world was being put together again