It's Always Been You...

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After driving around tirelessly for about an hour, I headed for the one place I could find some calm.

The beach.

Bucky had remained silent in the passenger seat beside me the whole time we had been driving. Truth be told I was secretly glad of the company, even if we weren't talking.

As I pulled up at Manhattan beach, Bucky's hand slipped onto my thigh.

"You ok Doll? That was pretty intense back there."

My eyes automatically landed on his hand that was resting on my thigh, no more than that but I felt my whole body tense under his touch after everything that had happened the past few days. His eyes followed my gaze and he retreated his hand sheepishly.

"Sorry."

I shook my head, smiling up at him, "No. Sorry...I...I'm fine. I just need some time to cool off." With that I clicked opened my seatbelt and slipped out of the car.

When I heard Bucky's door closing behind me I pressed the key to lock the car and headed down onto the quiet stretch of beach in front of us.

As my feet touched the sand, I closed my eyes briefly, inhaling the salty sea air before setting off at a leisurely pace. It didn't take Bucky long to catch up with me and when he did, I felt his hand slip over mine engulfing it.

"I always liked this beach the best..." I said as I looked out over the sea that seemed quite calm today, unlike my inner turmoil.

"How come Doll?" Bucky looked around the empty stretch of beach.

"Less people come here. Even in the peak times. So, it's more peaceful. More privacy, it makes it easier to try to unwind as you don't need to worry about people crowded around you."

Bucky had stopped and my arm jerked as he pulled me to a stop with him. I looked back to find him staring out over the ocean, the only noise was the seagulls above us and the sound of the waves as they crashed over a large rock near the shore. I relished the break from the madness for a moment before Bucky broke the silence.

"It's hard to quiet your mind sometimes isn't it Doll?"

"Yeah," I sighed, "It is...Especially recently."

Bucky pulled me gently towards him and I moved over and slipped myself to nestle into his side, he wrapped his arm around my waist and held me safe there. Automatically I found myself leaning into him and in response he gave me a gentle squeeze.

"Doll I promise, no matter what you choose, I will be here for you, ok? Just know....just know that..." he trailed off and I looked up from the comfort of his side to look at his face. He had turned away from me, clearly struggling with what he wanted to say. The sea air was gently tugging at his disheveled hair, his stubble covering his face made him look older today but I liked it on him.

"Hey? What is it?" I asked, gently reaching up to pull his face around to look at me. "Buck...what's wrong?"

He closed his eyes at my touch and allowed me to guide his face around, as he opened his eyes again he smiled weakly, "I need you to know I love you Doll. It's always been you."

My heart stopped in my chest. He loved me?

"Bucky..."

"I know I know." He cut me off, "it's stupid, I know! You and him are soulmates but I just don't think he deserves you. He doesn't treat you the way you should be treated. But I just needed to tell you...you know incase something happens in Asgard and some of us don't make it back. I just needed you to know....to know, how I truly feel, but. If friends is all this will ever be. I'm fine with that. As long as you are happy that's my main concern."

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