MICHAEL
She stayed in the bathroom for over an hour. She comes out and looks at me. I was hoping she would come out and talk to me but the bath doesn't seem to have cooled her down. I knocked and begged her to open, she ignored me. Now she is looking at me like I caused the crazy in Lerato. I decide to take a shower. 10 mins and I'm done. I did not bring anything to wear for both of us tonight. We are supposed to be slipping and sliding in each others sweat.
I guess naked will have to do. When I step out of the bathroom I find her in a hotel gown sitting on the bed. I call reception to organise me a bottle of tequilla from the bar. A knock and I open with the towel wrapped around my waste. This guy brought lemon slices, salt and shot glasses. I guess no-one drinks tequilla alone. Perfect.
Me: Want some?
Her: Ok
Me: Not an answer. Do you or don't you? For your hesitation you score yourself 2 shots.
She opens her eyes wide with shock.
Me: I will line em up. We ask each other questions. 2 shots for hesitation. 3 shots for omittion. 1 for truth. 4 for a lie.
I line up the 20 shot glasses. Fill them with tequilla and put lemon slices on top. We settle on the floor on opposite ends of the coffee table.
Me: Drink
She downs her 2 shots.
Her: You led her on
Me: Not necessarily
Her: Bad start. If you won't be honest I will stop playing.
I down the 4 shots
Me: You are afraid to trust me?
Her: Yes.
1 shot
Her: Did you enjoy sex with her?
Me: Not really.
Her: Sambulo if you don't stop being vague, I will walk out of here
I take my 4 shots.
Me: You hate the name Sambulo. Why?
Her: Long story.
She takes the 4 shots
Me: The game won't be fun if we refuse to be honest with each other.
Her: My father's name is Sambulo. I just resonate towards it when I'm mad at you.
Tell me Sambulo what did you think of me when you first saw me?
Me: She has beautiful skin. But I want my sister.
I take a single shot
Me: We are coming to pay your bride price in 2 weeks. I need your parent's home address.
She takes 4 shots. Then 2 more.
Her: The extra 2 is to close the subject.
We are slurring our words now. She tries to get up but gives up.
Her: Are you sure you want to eat this nuffie your whole life?
I can't risk trying to get up. I crawl towards her. Take 1 shot looking at her in the eye.
Me: That's for twerking your way into my heart.
2nd shot
Me: That's for forcing for permanent residence
3rd shot
Me: For loving me back
4th shot
Me: For giving me your innocence.
5th shot
Me: Yes I'm going to eat this nuffie as you call it. Let me show you how.
I make her lie on the carpet and go straight to fulfill my promise.
I lick her clit, up and down. She tries to move away but I hold her so tight. I put my tongue on her entrance and pass moving an inch lower. This one is losing her mind. I'm sure it's the booze. I increase my pace and double team her with my fingers. Just as she's about to cumm I stop. Big Mike is at the entrance. I slide in and she welcomes me with the biggest orgasm. I start moving and this tequilla has hightened all our senses. She cumms again, no warning, I follow but I want more she also wants more. I turn her over and lift her leg and enter from the back. I cumm, she cumms, countless times. This has got to be the best sex ever.
I open my eyes. Damnit headache headache headache. I remember last night and blush and realise I'm still in her. I start moving and she starts moaning.
Me: We are mmmh, paying your bride price in 2 weeks. You, you will make it... aaah... happen
Her: mmmh Sambulo, aaaah no, no
Me: Yes..... yessss.... aaaah yeeeesssss.
She cumms, I don't stop I keep going and going.
Me: I will.... stop.... when you.... agree...
Her: Aaaah
I move her to the bed and continue.
Her: Ok baby. Ok aaah ok
She starts crying and I pull out. I cover us with a blanket and hold her tight.
Me: Thank you. Rest so we can take the letter later in the day. My uncle gave it to me yesterday.
NTHABISENG
We get to the hospital. Lerato is still puking. I hope this means she's pregnant. If she is then we are in. A Zikalala heir. I'm more excited than she is ofcourse she's busy puking right now. But singenile. They wheel her to the ER and we sit and wait.
Hours pass.
Dr: Lerato Mofokeng
Us: Yes
She walks towards us.
Dr: Good evening
Tshidi: Yebo doctor what's wrong with her? Is it the baby?
Dr: What baby? Shit. Code red!! Code red!!
She screams running down the passage. We follow her into Lerato's ward. Nurses and doctors come rushing in.
Dr: Nurse we need a saline flush. Change that drip. Add 30ml Camidrol. Bring me the mobile sauna.
Everyone is running around like headless chicken. We're snuggled in a corner watching all this happen. A nurse brings the sauna and the doctor checks her stomach.
Doctor: Oh my.
JABHILE
I have been dreading this trip. I can't believe we can't just elope and walk into the sunset.
Me: Um. Are you sure?
Mike: Yes.
I sigh
Him: Let's go my love. I love you ok.
I nod and we walk out of the hotel, I love the yellow dress he bought me for today.
Me: I'm going to try to sleep. Last night was epic.
Him: Yeah about last night. We didn't use a condom. I will pass by my doctor first.
Me: Gosh we will never get there.
He parks outside a huge house that has been turned into doctor's rooms.
We walk in and I'm shocked to find Matt in here.
Me: How many jobs do you have?
Matt: Just this one I'm not an engineer like my siblings, but I was helping out. Establishing a business in a new country needed all hands on deck.
Mike: Ok doctor we need an STI workup, plus emergency contraception for her. Then give us options on which one to use without ruining our chances of conception later.
Matt: You do know I don't do men right? Only vaginas.
He gets up and starts collecting things from cabinets and shelves around him. He gives me a small plastic container.
Matt: Go pee in this
I return and he puts 2 sticks in the cup. He then draws our blood. Uses to drops for the emergency HIV kit.
Matt: You are both negative. It was reckless of you to have unprotected sex before testing. It shows that you don't love the person you're putting in danger.
Mike burries his head in his hands.
Matt: Our wife the test shows you are not pregnant yet. I suggest an implant or an IUD. What would you like to use?
Me: I've been on depo, I was due to the clinic in a week or so.
Matt: Ok I will schedule an appointment for you for Monday. We need you off that horse injection, I want kids wifey.
MICHAEL
A virgin on contraceptives. My wife is always prepared. I wonder why she doesn't want to go home. She doesn't even want to talk about it.
Me: You ready?
She just looks looks at me. I hold her tight and give her a kiss.
Me: I love you baby.
She types the address on the navigator and closes her eyes. This is going to be a long drive.
Me: Baby wake up we are here.
She suddenly looks scared. I open the door for her and she steps out. There are children playing in the yard. We walk inside and knock. A woman opens the door.
Sweet: Lotshani kgari
Kg: Jabhile. Nguwe lo(it is you) . Mmake(mom) come see.
Sweet: Can we come in?
Kg: Isikhuwa Jabhile?
Sweet: Sambulo doesn't speak any South African language, so it's better if we speak English.
Kg: Ok mtakabhuti.(my brother's child)
Gogo: Niyavuka?(You well?)
Sweet: Yebo gogo
Gogo: Mzukulu
Sweet: Gogo I'm here to introduce Sambulo Zikalala. He wants to marry me.
They burst out laughing.
Kg: Mradzana you can't have 2 husbands.
LERATO
I open my eyes. It's morning. Last night was so dramatic. I'm all alone in the room. My life is such a mess, I need my daddy. Let me call.
Dad: Good morning baby girl.
Sniffing
Me: Daddy.
Him: Where are you.
Me: I'm at Sandton hospital daddy, please come get me. I want to come home.
Dad: I will schedule a flight immediately. I'm coming sunshine.
Mom: What's wrong with my baby?
She's crying too. My mom is such a cry baby. I put the phone down, atleast I'll be surrounded by love. I close my eyes and doze off.
JABHILE
I'm so afraid right now. I expect Sambulo to walk away and never look back.
Sambulo: I don't know much about South African culture, but let me call my dad. He'll know what to do.
He looks at me and holds my hand
Him: Don't stress your pretty little head. You are already my wife Sweetness. I'm never letting you go.
He gives me a smirk or is it a naughty child smile. First time I see that look. He whispers in my ear.
Him: I popped that cherrie. Husband my ass.
He walks out to call his dad, leaving me smiling like a retard.
