JABHILE
MEMORY
Everyone was so excited. A shopping complex to be built at Kwagga. We wouldn't have to go all the way to Pretoria now for groceries. But that mall being built came with it's disadvantages Sipho Mahlangu. He thought he owned the world. He got 5 girls pregnant the first month he was here.
I'm walking to school, it's raining and kgari gave my raincoat to her daughter. Apparently mine looks better than hers. That's because she cut holes in hers. It was more expensive than mine. A car stops next to me.
Driver: Jabhile, let me take you to school, you're getting wet.
I look to see who it could be. Ach
Me: Hi Sipho. Thank you
It's raining too hard for me to say no today.
Sipho: Thank you God
Me: What does God have to do with anything.
Him: He made rain shordi. He made it rain.
We get to school in no time
Him: The rain made sure you got in my car. I've been trying to talk to you for months now.
Me: I'm not going to be your baby mama no 6.
He smiles
Him: I know. Enjoy your day.
After school he was waiting to take me home.
Me: Don't you go to school?
Him: I'm 20 Jabhile, in university. My classes are not everyday.
Me: You'd better not be lying to me. I don't befriend people who have no future.
I let him take me home.
Me: So how does a 20 year old make so many people pregnant.
Him: Those are just rumours. I haven't even slept with 5 girls, let alone make them pregnant.
Me: Uyaphosisa. I've seen girls in your car.
He side eyes me.
Him: Ok I lie.
We both chuckle
Him: I will stop when you agree to be my girlfriend.
Me: I guess you will never stop.
TODAY
Sambulo walks back in. He sits next to me looking at my dad's sister and his mom. He sighs.
Him: My people will be here next Saturday, for a meeting. The elders will discuss the way forward. Husband number 1's people can be there as well. Here is my father's phone number, please give it to Mr Skosana in case he has any questions. Love let's go.
We walk into the car and I cry silently. He holds my hand tightly. We drive in silence until I decide to speak to my man.
Me: It wasn't an arranged marriage.
Him: What?
Me: We were in love.
He looks at me.
Me: The road Sandile. Keep your eyes on the road. Moloto is a killer road.
I sigh.
Me: Do you still want to marry me?
Him: More than you will ever know. You need to let go of him though.
Me: I'm over him.
Him: Baby this is the first time you've aknowledged that you loved before. You always dodged the question.
I continue to cry silently. He pulls me closer to him and drives with one hand. Driving an automatic is life.
Him: Wake up we are home.
We walk in and he leads me to the bedroom. We take a shower in silence. This man loves taking care of me. He washes me thoroughly, dries me, lotions me and covers me with a thick gown. I think winter is my favourite season. We go to the kitchen to see about food. Aunty Ellen prepared comfort food. I'm sure this moron called ahead.
Him: What's the smile for.
Me: You're a moron.
Him: Don't say stuff you will regret.
Me: Who's gona make me pay?
Him: Continue love. Continue
I stick my tongue out. Before I even put it back in my mouth I'm against the wall screaming my lungs out.
Him: What.. were... you... saying?
Me: Mmmh....
Him: Jabhile
Me: I.... lo..ve.... you
He smiles and continues to deliver insane strokes.
NTHABISENG
I get to the hospital and Lerato has been discharged. I'm still shocked at yesterday's revelation. You think you know someone kanti dololo. Hey mihlolo stru. Here I thought we'd be having a Zikalala junior. Dr Andile Zikalala was featured in the last BMF award ceremony. He was celebrated as the top achiever in medicine for the year. I was amazed by his youth it's usually grandpa's that are recognized.
YESTERDAY
Dr: Oh wow
Us: What is it doctor?
Dr: There's no baby. There never was. There's no womb. I can't divulge more. She will tell you herself.
Lerato then closed her eyes and pretended to be asleep.
NOW
I get to the shop and there is no Blacky. It's her day off, but I'm not expecting her back. I asked Teefu to sell the place or find new management. I don't want to run it anymore. Trust my husband to know better. He just smiled and booked us on a 4 week holiday, touring Europe. I'm leaving tonight. Thuli will be in charge at the moment. I'm going to miss this place. I walk out feeling on top of the world.
LERATO
What would have given Nthabiseng the idea that I was pregnant. I thought they had stabilized my alcohol poisoning when doctors and nurses came rushing in screaming code red. I'm sitting in daddy's jet apparently we are going to my favourite place on earth to comfort me.
Dad: You are going to enjoy the Greek Isles my baby. Spending time there always calms you down.
Me: Thank you daddy.
At 29 years old I'm still daddy's princess.
Dad: I hope you don't mind a friend of mine is hitching a ride with us.
Me: No daddy, I will be in my room most of the flight anyways.
Yes our jet has tiny sleeping quarters.
SHIT SHIT SHIT
Teefu: Old friend how are you?
They shake hands. In waltzes his much younger wife. She spots me and rushes me. She gives me the warmest tightest hug.
Nthabi: I thought I was never going to see you again. You just disappeared. I was so worried.
Teefu: So love that means you are doing better and we can go home.
She gives him a dirty look and we all burst out laughing.
Me: My parents came to fetch me.
My mom walks in. Late as usual. Apparently she had things to do this morning.
Mom: Sorry I'm late, my sister wouldn't stop talking. Her grandchild is sick, the doctors don't know what's wrong. Ngaka told them his ancestors want him. Not his maternal, but paternal ones.
Me: I thought Mpho went for artificial insemination.
Mom: That's why your aunt didn't stop talking. The search is on to find the donour.
Me: When you think you have problems, someone always trumps you with bigger ones.
Nthabiseng gives me another hug
Me: Mama this is ntante Teefu and his wife my friend Nthabiseng. They were with me in hospital, in fact they took me to hospital.
Mom: Thank you so much. I know Teefu, nice to meet you young lady. Maybe you will tell me what drives someone to drink so much they poison theselves with alcohol.
Nthabi: Take a guess mama
Mom: Monna. Indoda. Man
We burst out laughing. Then I remember the doctor's reaction. So unprofessional. She really embarrassed me. A tear escapes. Unplanned.
Mom: He really did a number on you heh.
Me: No ma. Things with him were really not that serious. Just what the doctor did yesterday. She..
I tell her what happened.
Mom: Nthabi what made you think she was pregnant?
Nthabi: Wishful thinking I guess. Coupled with the throwing up.
Me: I was born intersexual, although my female charecteristics have always been more dominant. I'm attracted to men only, I have a vagina, but the reproductive organs are male.
Nthabi: That explains the rock hard legs.
I play punch her on the shoulder
Me: I was born without a womb. My vagina had to be nipped and tucked to be perfected. But that doctor was horrible. I'll never forget how she said: oh wow.
I shake my head.
Nthabi: She will know us when we get back.
We laugh
Nthabi: Can you believe Charcoal?
Me: I am not ready to talk about that yet.
JABHILE
I should've fallen in love with a white man. We would've eloped and forgot about this family nonsense. But Michael is determined to be a Zulu man and have a traditional wedding. I sigh as I acknowledge there's no way out.
Michael: Penny for your thoughts?
Me: Thank you for loving me through all this.
He smiles and the doorbell rings. He goes to open and comes back with the Zikalala senior twins and their wives. Babu Zulu comes at the end. I'm so afraid of this man I feel as if he can see right through me. They greet and settle on the couches.
Bab Peter: Makoti good to see you.
Me: Ngiyabonga baba
Mama: We love you
This is not a good way to start this meeting. Oh hell
Babu Nkosi: Mfana bring two of those chairs and put them there.
He does.
Zulu : Now you and makoti sit there.
Yaqala ke inkathazo madoda. (Here comes trouble)
