Elliot

Ten

Tobias' knuckles were bruised. It was very obvious and everyone could point it out easily, but no one did. Until I did.

"What happened to your knuckles?"

Tobias glanced at his hand and looked at me. "Got into a stupid fight," he said.

It was odd how the thought of Tobias being in a fist fight is nearly possible. He didn't seem like the kind of guy who gets on a fight, I never thought he really is.

I know that he is lying but I didn't push through. His mood today was gloomy and intense. I'm not used to seeing him like that. Something inside me felt like wondering what's the matter.

Or worse, I think, worrying.

We were at the library. I don't usually go on libraries; I find it boring and dull. But ever since I joined The French Society and there are french tasks that we need to do, I became quite familiar with the library.

I didn't like the smell of old books and the cold air mixing together, but like I said, I became familiar with it.

Something is bugging my brain and I know it's about Tobias' knuckles. Even though I wanted to talk about it more, I didn't want to trigger Tobias by pushing things he doesn't really want to talk about.

"Elliot, I'm fine, really." Tobias said. He seemed to have noticed, I have also now, that I was still looking at his knuckles.

"Sorry," I said and turned back to my paper work which is more French.

"Please, stop thinking about it."

"I'm not." I am.

He didn't answer and I know he's just staring at me. I looked at him. "I'm not, Tobias." I said again. Tobias didn't look pleased and he sighed.

"Let's go out."

And we did. I followed him outside the library, outside the school, and went to the tree where I usually smoke.

We sat. Tobias leaning on the tree, and me beside him, only a few inches apart. "So, what happened?" I asked, breaking the silence.

Tobias chuckled softly. "I thought you weren't thinking about it?"

"Oh." Dang, he caught me. "Well, I just thought about it now since your whole hand is exposed."

He looked at his bruised right hand. And we were silent for a moment. "We have our own problems," he finally said. "You do know that, right, Elliot?"

I looked at him. "Yeah." His eyes are wickedly brown.

"And we have our own ways of coping up or how to deal with them." I didn't answer. "Well that's it, actually. Sometimes we have to find our ways of forgetting that there's pain existing in our lives."

And then I understood him right away.

Tobias is broken. A piece of a broken glass shattered on the floor. Tobias hurts himself to cope up with his problems. It sucks seeing him like that. I hated it. I hated seeing him like that.

I felt like I wanted to hug him. But I didn't. Yet I wanted to do something. I wanted to make him feel okay even though it's not possibly that easy.

The world was slowly turning and the sky was becoming orange again. I needed to do something. To become a good friend, I needed to do something.

I wanted to make him feel okay.

So, I reached out for his hand and I held it. Careful not to touch his bruised knuckles, I held his hand firmly. Tobias glanced at our hands and to me.

"Don't say anything," I said. And he didn't.

He held my hand back. Firm and tight. And for a moment, we fell silent. I didn't hate the silence this time. I felt comfortable with it. Tobias leaned against the tree and closed his eyes.

I held his hand and he held mine. Closing my eyes while the world spins slowly, I silently wished that I could take away his pain if I held his hand tighter.

I wished for everything to be okay. I wished for him to be okay.