Solace (completed)

Chapter Five

Sorry for all the POV changes, I couldn't decide who to chose so I went back and forth quite a bit.
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Alex Solace

   It's 7 in the morning.

   It's seven in the fucking morning.

   Why am I so pissed off you ask? Because it's Saturday. It's Saturday and my body decides to wake me up this early.

   Normally I'm able to go back to sleep immediately, but I just laid here with my eyes half open and my legs and arms tangled in my blankets.

I snuggle my head deeper into my pillow, cuddling the mountain of blankets around me, but I couldn't go back to sleep. I tried putting a pillow between my legs and balling up the blankets to make a makeshift body pillow, but that didn't work either.

I groaned and smacked my pillow with my head. I decided to sit up a bit and open the blinds of my window just a bit. Just enough for the glow of nighttime and the shine of the stars to flow into my room.

The view I have reminded me of the scene in The Nightmare Before Christmas where jack is riding his coffin in the air, flying through the cloud with his skeleton reindeer.

Imagine if that could really happen. If Jack Skellington was real?

I would want to be his friend. Would he be a good friend? Maybe, maybe not.

I couldn't help but drift my thoughts to yesterday. To Elias.

Elias motherfucking Salazar.

He's very... different. He's the only guy that's taken the time to have a genuine conversation with me. He hasn't even brought up sex yet which is... unusual, but I'm happy nonetheless.

   I'm grateful for it though. I know it won't last, I know he'll want sex sooner or later, but for now, the 'good guy' act he's putting on is refreshing. Even if there's mal-intent behind it. Even if it's just an act. It's nice to laugh and talk to someone for once. It's interesting how that someone is a guy though.

   Does knowing that he's only talking to me for sex hurt? Yes. But in the world I live in, that's reality. Does knowing that at the end of the day, this is all an act he's putting on, hurt? I'd be lying if I said no.

   Father married mother for sex, and yet he's still unfaithful. It just goes to show that nothing will stop men from getting what they want. They'll go through marriage, fake friendships, lies and deceit, just to get to the one thing they've wanted all along.

Sex.

   It's funny. When guys ask- when they demand I should say- for sex, it does hurt, but more so mentally and physically than it does emotionally. I feel like once Elias asks that of me... it would hurt a hell of a lot more emotionally than physically.

   I know I shouldn't expect him to be different. I know why he's talking to me. I keep reminding myself. Every. Fucking. Day. But my heart won't stop telling me that he's different.

   My heart is wrong.

   I want to believe he's different. I want to believe that maybe he actually wants to be my friend. But I know that that's not true. He's just like the rest of them. He's just the only one that's taken the time to put on an act.