Solace (completed)

Chapter Fourty-One

What state/country are you guys from? I have a map and am going to be putting thumbtacks for each country/state my readers are from!
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Alex Solace

I can't stop shaking.

Why the fuck can't I stop shaking?

It's in my hands. My pale, clammy, sweaty hands.

Her will.

I mean... fuck. I knew this was gonna happen. I knew I was gonna be able to see the will for my own eyes. But just... just holding it in my hands. My life is about to be determined by what's in this will. Mateo's life will be determined by what's in here.

Fuck, man.

I set the packet of papers down on the table with a thud, running two stressed hands through my hair, locking them together at the back of my neck and huffing out a breath.

It's right there. Just staring at me. Like I'm a fucking idiot. Like I'm stupid. Those big, bold words are just looking at me like... like I'm nothing.

I hate how fast my heart is pounding. I hate that even in hell, she still has this fucking power over me.

Fuck. Fuck. Fucking fuck.

I shake my hands and run my sweaty palms down my shirt.

Chill the fuck out.

Mateo.

I should go check on Mateo. Yeah. I should worry about that right now.

Okay... I huff out a shaky breath, ignoring how cold and clammy my body feels, and I clench my jaw, turning on my heels and walking to his room, anxiety creeping up my throat.

Mateo calms me down. Mateo can get me through this.

My heart beats anxiously as I knock on his door. I need to talk to someone. Even if it's a five year old who doesn't understand what's going on.

"Bubs?" I crack open the door just a bit, but it's enough for my heart to fall when I notice his light is off and SpongeBob is faintly playing in the background.

He's just there. Doesn't even have his pajamas on. Just the shirt he was in earlier and his underwear. His pants and socks are scattered across the floor, and his body is just plopped on the bed. He didn't even bother to cover himself with the blanket.

Dude is knocked out cold.

I whine quietly and stomp the ground, my anxiety is going through the roof and my face is starting to get hot.

I take a deep breath. It's fine. Everything's fine. You're making it a bigger deal than it is. Just read the will, and get it over with.

It's fine. Everything's gonna be fine.

I exhale slowly before walking out of his room and closing his door enough, but not all the way.

I feel my blood pound in my ears the closer I get to the kitchen.

It's fine. It's all fine.

My inner subconscious is right. It's all gonna be fine. Everything's fine. And when you think about it rationally, what would she need to make a will for besides Mateo's custody? She doesn't own the house, she sure as shit doesn't have money, what else would she make a will for?