Solace (completed)

Chapter Twenty-Five

Don't forget to read chapter 24 before this <3
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Elias Salazar

   Gerald can fuck off for all I care.

   Somehow- much to my delight- she flipped over in her sleep, throwing her leg over my waist and digging her face into my neck. As much as I loved the new position, there was one problem.

Gerald.

She was still holding him in her arms which created a small space in between us. I didn't like it.

So I threw the fluffy bastard on the floor.

This made it much easier for me to wrap my arms around her and cuddle her into my chest.

I don't know what time it is, I don't know how long I've been awake, but all I know is I had a hard time falling asleep last night.

My heart clenched at the memories of my girl breaking down in my arms. I've seen her cry tears of happiness, tears of laughter, tears caused by her period, but seeing her cry— vulnerably? I guess would be the word? Seeing her cry tears of ultimate pain and confusion made my soul ache.

   My heart dropped to my ass when we were standing right in front of her door and she started to shake and cry in my arms.

I was so confused and scared. I thought I had pushed her too far, but at the same time that's when the confusion hit.

She didn't pull away, she kissed me back, she even pulled me closer and brought out lips together again as we painted into each other's mouths, gasping for air.

   So what did I do wrong?

   Her head started to shake repeatedly and her hands shook violently. It honestly scared the shit out of me but thankfully she let me carry her to her room. She sniffled and whimpered a bit but she eventually relaxed in my arms, clearly exhausted from what just happened.

   My heart beat wildly in my chest in fear. Fear that I overwhelmed her, that I ruined everything. So many things were running through my mind but the first thing I wanted to do was just make sure she was okay.

   A small amount of relief flooded my body when she didn't want to let go of me, like a child clinging to their favorite toy. I would've gladly held her in my arms forever but I knew we had to talk about what just happened.

   Seeing her vulnerable and just... just looking like she needed to be taken cared of, it made me feel all sorts of things. Part of me was happy to see this side of her, to see her open up a bit. But then the better part of me knew that she wasn't like this by choice, she seemed to be in pain for so long and it looked like it was finally weighing down on her.

   My chest squeezed in anguish when she struggled to look at me. And when she asked if I even liked her? I wanted to shout how much I fucking loved her, but if she couldn't even see that I liked her then I knew she wouldn't believe that.

   When Angelica was young my mom explained that my dad would walk around shirtless with her in his arms because 'skin on skin' contact was soothing. I thought it was complete bullshit until I met her.

The feeling of her soft skin against my hands, my lips, just feeling her presence and her body and knowing that she's there, it calms every fiber in my being.

I don't know what exactly compelled me to take my shirt off and put her frail hand on my pounding heart. But whatever it was, I'd like to believe that it worked.