Solace (completed)

Chapter Fourty-Eight

Solace will have a happy ending. I'll never understand why I have to say it millions of times. Solace is a sad book with a happy ending and great relationship potential. If you got into this book thinking it would be happy throughout the whole thing, we'll you clearly didn't pay attention.

We're so close to the end you guys! Less than 15 chapters to go!
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Elias Salazar

   I wouldn't consider myself violent.

   When I first met Alex- in the library, not when I was watching her from afar- I had already had this need to protect her. To make sure she's okay. To treat her with care.

   I'm not proud of how I lost my temper when that guy tried to pull her into the janitors closet. I'm not proud of how I saw red, of how every orifice in my body felt like it was being doused in molting hot lava.

   I'm not proud of how my fist flew to his face and I nearly beat him to a pulp in front of the girl I love. And I'm certainly not proud of how terrified she was of me after.

   Or when she was attacked. When my sweet girl was unconscious in that tiny hospital bed because those bastards had the nerve to put their hands on her.

   That time, I was in anguish. In pure, unadulterated agony. It made me physically ill to see her in that state, unmoving and in pain. Bandaged and bruised. It felt like my heart was laying in front of me in that bed.

   I'm not an idiot. I know what they wanted attacked her. I know what they planned to do. But the doctor didn't let me in the room when they were relaying her injuries so I never knew what happened. After the incident, we just never talked about it again.

   What kind of a.. what kind of a boyfriend am I? I've overlooked so many things, I've been so oblivious and naïve about so much- just thinking about it makes me sick.

   Now that I think about it, she seemed almost.. unfazed by the whole thing while she was recuperating at my house. Most people would fall into a deep state of depression. But Alex, she... she didn't bat an eye.

   My girl went about her life. She got better and pretended as if nothing happened. She went to school, continued taking care of her brother. She didn't bring it up, so I didn't either. I was too busy showing her affection and behaving like a lovesick idiot to notice these things, to come to my senses and realize she was in pain.

   Oh my God. Oh my fucking God.

   I'm not a violent person- at least, I don't think so. I don't get upset easily. But right now... right now...

   Every. Fucking. Inch. Of my body is shaking. With rage, pain, internal torture. Air refuses to fill my lungs, warmth no longer decides to surround me, leaving me cold and breathless. My head pounds like the worst fucking migraine I've ever experienced, black spots dancing around my eyes.

The most.. purest form of anxiety I've ever felt is coursing through my veins like it's blood.

   I look down at my girl. My girl- my chest squeezes at the words- my beautiful, beautiful girl. My sweet cheeks. My love. My poor baby who's been through so much and is keeping it all in, who won't talk to me because communication doesn't come easy to her. Who won't let me help her.

My Alex.

"Baby," I whisper painfully, snaking my hand across her cheek and gently closing her mouth, which was wide open and drooling on my chest.