Solace (completed)

Chapter Fourty-Five

Alex Solace

Okay....

Everything's gonna be fine. Just going back to school after a month. No biggie. Not a big deal. Not at all. Nope.

I've already dropped off Mateo and now I'm waiting in the parking lot, tapping my steering wheel anxiously. I feel bile rise in my throat as I look at the large building that's 50% brick and 50% glass.

Fuck, a month. It's been a whole fucking month since I've been here.

How do I do this? I forgot how to go to school.

(A/n: like how I forgot how to write 🥲)

Elias texted me a few minutes ago telling me he's gonna be waiting for me outside the office. I think his specific words were 'look for your sexy boyfriend who's waiting outside the office to kiss you'.

That made me smile.

I was so nervous about coming to school that I was up all night packing shit in boxes. My room is completely done, aside from some makeup and a basket of clothes that I'm wearing until we completely move in. I packed the bathroom, cleaned it, I even packed what I could from the kitchen without taking too much.

It got so bad to the point that I started putting Mateo's toys in boxes.

I had to stop when the sun started to come up, which actually made me angry.

Everything's been calm. No caseworker, no police, everything's been fine. With any luck, I'll be moved in within a week and all I'll have to worry about is showing up for court.

Which is in two fucking months. I have to be completely moved in, completely moved out, I have to update our address and let people know-

I'm okay, breathe. No one's taking him away, you're a good mother, everything's gonna be fine.

Right... everything's gonna be fine.

I should get that shit tattooed on my fucking forehead.

Despite all the shit I still have to do, I will say, buying that house definitely calmed my anxiety and took a weight off my shoulders.

My bank account though? ...She's suffering.

But that's a story for a different time. Right now I need to stop being a big baby and go inside the school. I only have three minutes left until my class starts. Not only that, I have a beautiful brown haired boy waiting for me inside who I'm actually dying to see.

Okay... just fucking do it. If you don't do it now then you'll never do it.

I groan louder than necessary and turn my car off, jumping out of it and slamming the door shut, feeling a rush of adrenaline course through me.

It's like I took a mini summer vacation. I'll be fine.

I speed walk to the front doors, hiking my bag higher up on my left shoulder and looking both ways even though I'm the only one walking in the parking lot.

When my hands pull on the door handle, opening the doors to the school I use every breathing technique in the book to keep myself from panicking. 1) because all the sweating is gonna make my makeup melt, and 2) because I don't want to start sweating before I have to walk up all those fucking stairs later.

Walking the halls of the school after a month feels weird- nostalgic. Nobody gives a fuck because nobody knows me, but for some reason I still feel like everyone is staring.