Split Personality

The Standard System

I am so sorry this took so long! This was supposed to come out so long ago; but the chapter just kept getting longer and longer and I couldn't find a stopping point or much time to write. But enjoy this little section. Comment as always!
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Soviet's POV:
After some time passed I decided to break the news. "So. About that doctor appointment." I say. "Yeah. We need to go set it up, right?" He asked. "Oh no. I set it up last night. It's in an hour." I say. "What! How?! It was extremely late?! Do they not sleep?!" He yelled in both frustration, confusion, and fear.

"Oh right. You don't know what voice mail is." I say to myself. "What?" He asked. "It's like if radio and phone had baby." I explained. "So a walki talki?" He asked. "No no no. More pending. You send it and they can open it and listen to it many times." I say. "So. It's really just a talking letter?" He asked. "Yeah. A talking letter." I say conclusively. "Ohhhh. Voice. Mail." He said to himself.

"So. Go take your weight." I ask. He sighed. "And remember. It's supposed to go up." I say, as he stood. "I know." He said as he walked down the hall to my bathroom. He came out a moment later. I look at him and wait. "Ninety" he said. "Ninety pounds?" I ask. "Yeah. Or roughly 41 kilos." He said.

"Out of all the things you can automatically convert. Why metric and standard?" I ask. It's like he is calculator some days. "Oh umm. It was just a...useful skill. Thought it would help." He said. "But you had no use for it. It's not like you lived in America or something." I say. He just nervously chuckled a bit. "Yup. I guess it was stupid." He said, averting his eyes. Suspicious.

"Well. I guess that food is finally working." I say. "I guess so." He replied. "Only nine kilograms to go. Or. How many pounds?" I ask. "Twenty." He said. "You had to gain over thirty pound then. How was Britain expecting to make any progress with what he was feeding you. He fed you like little rabbit." I say. "Yeah haha." He replied sarcastically. It's true.

He gave him soup and vegetables mainly. Which is good, don't get me wrong. But. We're trying to have him gain weight and heal his magic. As flags we need calories, fat, sodium; that type of stuff. All extra nutrients goes to our magic vortex to give it energy. No waste. So I've been giving him a lot of bread and potato. And it seems to be working.

It took him a day or so after he came to me to get used to that much food. But if and when he is sent to America he's going to get to that minimum weight really fast. He is known to stuff his guests. We've all been victim to his food by this point. But alas. Not right now. I stand up and walk to the door and start putting on my boots. He stood up after a second and put on his shoes. Wow. He needs new shoes.

Then I stand and put on my tan trench coat and ushanka. I looked down at him as he was putting on the jacket I gave him. When he zipped it he looked up at me. As he did his eyes flashed a rose quartz pink and showed fear as he stutter stepped. He blinked a few times and shook his head slightly, then looked back up at me. His once again red eyes showed neutral confidence. Stoic even.

I haven't worn these clothes since the day we went on that walk. Still scares him. Great, nice to know my clothing is a source of trauma. I had my suspicions but this confirms them. But at least it's not me that's doing it. He seems to have mentally accepted that I am not a threat. But because of how little I've been wearing these clothes it's taking longer for him to re-register them. That's my guess anyways.

I grab my keys and open the door. "Short ones first." I say. "I'm not short. You are freakishly tall." He said. "I am not." I say. "You're- you're seven foot one! What do you mean 'I'm not tall'?!" He yelled. "Your American units mean nothing to me." I say as I push him slightly. He took the signal and walked out. "The standard system was invented in England. Idiot." He said. "Well, you seem to have gotten your spunk back." I say attempting to defuse the situation. "My what?" He said. Ha! I am the smart one now! "It is Latin. It means 'a spark' but now in America it means a form of lively courage or spirit." I say. "Huh." Is all he said. I finish shutting the door and turn around. "Yep. In Britain it means semen." I say.

The look of pure confusion on his face. "Fucking England." He mumbled. "What?" I ask as I open the car doors. "If it's British, and it's stupid, it's actually English." He said. "Is that a code of ethics or something?" I ask as we get in. "Yes. If it's Scottish and it's stupid, it's a threat. If it's Irish and it's stupid, we're jealous. And if it's Welsh as it's stupid, we're wrong." He said as he attempted to buckle himself. "Quite the code you've got there, why is Welsh just wrong?" I asked as he finally clicked the buckle and I had to hold back a snicker at his sudden pride. He looked so proud! Like he just won a fight or something!

"Because Wales is above us. Beyond our understanding. Such...power..." he said. I just stared at him for a moment. "Okaaayyyyyy. I don't know what fantasyland you lived in while in that bunker, but ummm. Have you actually MET Wales?" I ask with concern. Don't get me wrong, Wales is a great guy. But he's not...whatever THAT is. "No. We've never talked. I've seen him though!" He said making eye contact with me. "Oh god." I mumbled.

He hummed in confusion. I pulled out and began to drive down the mountain. "Why do you think of Wales in such a...high manner?" I ask. "Oh because-" he stopped. "Yes?" I ask. "Umm. Because...I. I don't remember." He mumbled to me. "Well. That's ok." I say. "No. It was important! He is powerful and a threat. But a nice person. He won't physically hurt anyone, just mentally torment them for all eternity." He said.

"You know what, I forgot something. One second." I say as I put the car in park. I pull out my phone and open my chat with JE. 'Hay, I'm taking Third to the doctor. I think he's having a mental crisis. Are you available?' I send. A moment later a speech bubble appeared. 'Of course. Meet at the hospital again?' She sent. 'Yes that is perfect. And how are you so reliable?' I ask. 'One of the pros of being self employed. I'm always available in times of need.' She said. 'I guess.' I say. Then I put my phone back in my pocket and drove again.

After fifteen minutes we're at the base of the mountain. Then we enter Main Street. Which is not a single street, but many streets that make a grid box. All of our shops and social gather stuff is here. It's also where all other parts connect. At the very center. So I go straight, take a right, then a left, and continue straight. Down here is the hospital. Should be about ten minutes. I would just teleport him, but because of his magic vortex, him coming in contact with magic is possibly dangerous. So we drive.

We make it there and we step out of the car. I walked over to the passenger side and waited for him to finish fighting with the seatbelt. When he did and opened the door I grabbed his wrist. He looked up at me with some confused annoyance. "I heard what you did with Britain. I'm not letting it happen again." I say. He huffed. "It wasn't my fault.." he mumbled. Then we walked inside.

JE was already there. She looked up from one of the benches and smiled. Third immediately attempted to break out of my grip. He grumbled when he failed. "Let me go." Third said. "Please?" I ask. He shot a glare at me. "Fuck off." He said threateningly. I just sigh and let him go. So much for manners. Such hostility. Probably need to fix that.

He ran over to JE and they said their hellos. Then a quick hug, and I do mean quick. "You doing ok?" JE asked. "I hate being here. But other than that, I can't remember why Wales is important." He said. JE looked at him for a second. "Wales?" She asked. "Yeah, he's powerful and shit, right? But why do we respect him?" He asked. JE glanced at me with this 'really? This is what you brought me here for?' Look on her face. I just shrugged.

JE took a breath. "That was a big joke we had. Because no one else respects him we would. We told false tales to each other about him when we were bored. Remember?" She explained. "It isn't real?" He asked. "No honey. It's not real." She said. "Well fuck. Now I feel like a retard." He said. "Don't say that!" JE said. "What?" He asked. "The word in there that started with 'R'. Don't say it. Not good word." She explained. "Fuck. I just can't not mess up today." He said with a groan. "It's ok 赤ちゃん. It's not your fault." She said as she pulled him into a hug. A longer one this time.

Oh thank god. I was beginning to worry he was worshiping him like a god. That would be a huge problem. You know, because he is not a god, and definitely not looked to be treated like one. But luckily it was just his memory being scrambled a little bit.

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I hope you enjoyed! Sorry again for this taking so long. I've been really busy lately but should have more time off during December.

Anyways, toodaloo,
-Grilly