Law and Order- complete

II

Harry and I haven't been working. Technically, this week was my last week being tutored by him. With the move and everything going on, I assured Ellen that my grades were good enough to quit, and she agreed. I knew I'd find a way to continue to see him anyway, so I didn't stress it.

The last couple of days we spent eating and talking about our now uneventful lives since I tried to bring down a frat. The conversation was often casual and nothing extra, but I looked forward to them. I just enjoyed spending time with him. I enjoyed hearing his posh accent and the way he pronounced his words so clearly like he was concentrating on them. And the way he'd run his tongue along the inside of his cheek when I said something funny he refused to laugh at.

When he did laugh, though, it was only a vague chuckle. Those familiar small dimples come out in his cheeks as he wipes his hand across his mouth, trying to take the smile with it. He'd then look at me and shake his head, continuing at whatever he was doing.

These were the moments I kept to myself, not bothering to let him see when my gaze lingered on him a second too long, or when my smile lasted long after the joke ended.

With everything that's gone on these last couple of months, falling for Harry seemed inevitable. I didn't notice I was until I started doing double-takes in the bathroom of the study hall before coming to his room. Making sure my lips weren't dry, and grabbing my hair in my fist to pull it up, testing how it looked in a high ponytail. I never really wore it up high, so I decided to play it safe and comb my fingers through it to fall over my shoulders.

Part of me feels like my infatuation with Harry is simply a result of my bad taste of men. To be fair, I had a crush on Ramon, I'm not sure I can trust myself when it comes to this.

Not to mention the uncertainty of it all, where would my feelings for Harry get me? I don't know if he feels the same way, does he think about me as often as I do him? I know we've been intimate but what if it was nothing to him? I don't know how I'll react if he doesn't want to continue whatever this is after today.

It hurts my head to think about it.

"You've got that look," Harry says suddenly, looking at me from above his laptop, his long fingers continuing to tap rhythmically against the keypad. From what I understood, he was filling out paperwork. I don't know what for, though.

"What look," I peel my gaze from the window, where all I can see are shrubs as the spring rain falls on them. I sat on the small dark red, velvet couch next to the bookshelf, by the window with my ankles tucked under my thighs. It was quite a serene view, especially since the rain was loud enough to fill the silence in the room I could almost doze off sitting here as I fiddled with my shirt, drowning in my thoughts.

"The focused bit," He motions his hand across his face, still typing.

I press my lips together and glance at him before looking back at the window. "I'm just thinking," I say.

The typing on his laptop stops and I hear clicking with the mouse as I watch a raindrop chase another against the window, finally merging and picking up speed down the glass.

 "About?" He closes the laptop shut and I turn back around, watching as he opens his drawer and grabs a bag of Lays chips.

"Tonight." I lie. "The dinner and all that, meeting Chris and his son."

"Are you nervous?"

"No, it's just... I don't know, a lot. Then the moving thing," I say, my voice is mellow as I focus my eyes on the window again.

Technically, I wasn't lying. I wanted time to be still for a moment. So much was happening that it made me want to just...stop. Just four months ago I was at a party, getting drunk with my best friend and getting ready to fuck my other one.