Law and Order- complete

VI

This morning, it rained.

When I woke up, the first thing I noticed was the sound of the soft rain tapping against the window in my room. I shuffled deeper into the soft comforter, tucking my toes together as the air conditioning nipped at them as I continued to listen to the soothing sound, my eyes opened and staring at the blank ceiling as my mind relaxed for the first time in weeks.

I didn't fully get up until I hear the front door opening and closing. I know China spends Sundays with her family, so she won't be home until late tonight or early tomorrow morning for her classes. In some ways, I envy her ability to go home to a full family and home-cooked meals. I never realized how much I'd miss it until now.

I climb out of the bed, placing my bare feet on the cold floor and inhaling a sharp breath when my arms go over my head and I stand on my tiptoes, stretching until I feel a few bones crack before relaxing with a huff and running a hand through my waves.

I only wear a pair of pajama shorts and a sports bra so I quickly discard them behind the door before walking into the bathroom. I find myself in the mirror and my lips quirk up into a forced smile, my fingertips running along with the dark circles under my eyes. I could blame it on the stress from the finals, sure. But I could also blame it on the court next week, or how unsure I am about going to the baby shower gender reveal because it'll only remind me that Miranda is starting a new family, and as much as I want it to be the same; it won't.

I could blame it on the constant looking over my shoulders for some frat revenge, or the fact that there's a sharp twang in my stomach when I reminisce on the family I had just a few months ago.

I could blame it on Harry.

I haven't talked to him and as anxious as I was before, I find myself beginning to not care. During my sleepless nights, I managed to convince myself that I was right. He has every reason to not want to see me anymore. He was my tutor, and that's it. Whatever we had was bound to come to an end and to prolong it would only complicate.

His lack of response to my calls and message was a response within itself. And I'm finally accepting it.

The shower heater either didn't work, or took forever to heat up the water, so I end up taking a cold shower, hissing from the icy touch that seemed to intensify my sour mood. I don't wash my hair since I can't stand to spend another second in the water, and it makes me feel like my shower is incomplete. I'm unsatisfied as I dry off and look for my underwear, only to realize that they're all dirty.

You've got to be fucking kidding me.

I kick the dirty laundry bag over and groan aloud before searching for a tight-fitting tank top and a pair of sweats with a hole in the knee. Deciding that I must feel better after washing my hair, I head to the kitchen sink, cleaning it out before ducking my head under and lathering my hair with shampoo and the warm water. It's working along until my head is completely rinsed off and I lift it, only to knock it against the faucet. At that point, I was sure that the universe simply targeted me.

My hair was washed when my stomach began to growl, so Id decide to make something I know will remind me of being home and hopefully lift my mood; Chorizo.

Cutting up the potatoes was easy, but I guess I hadn't been watching Miranda the way I'd thought because I managed to fuck up the breakfast, leaving the skillet a heap of what looked like cow shit. I was really looking forward to the meal so it only frustrated me into slamming the pan in the sink and gripping the edges so tightly that my knuckles flashed white.

I couldn't explain the feeling I'd got when I fucked up the food, I only knew that it made my lip quiver as I held the back of my hand to my mouth, folding my lips into my mouth as hot tears slid down my face. I have no reason to cry, I tell myself over and over again, the little, angry voice in my head begins to scold me for being so childish and it makes the tears flow down faster.