꧁ ℍ𝕒𝕣𝕣𝕪 ℙ𝕠𝕥𝕥𝚎𝚛 𝕀𝕞𝕒𝕘𝕚𝕟𝕖𝕤 ꧂

Fred Weasley x Reader

Authors note
*I would just like to give a trigger warning that this chapter does contain mentions of self harm.*
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Requested by shodgson250
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I sit in potions class and completely disregard Snape's words, I only look at my wrists hidden beneath my clothing, the memories flash through my mind like the plague making me recoil in disgust and close my eyes, but at the same time I long for the same feeling I get. It silences the thoughts I feel especially when I'm left on my own and forced to deal with my demons. I completely miss the sad and worried looks sent my way by a pair of ginger twins.

I feel an elbow nudge my side making me snap out my thoughts and I'm met with a pair of chocolate brown eyes swirling with worry. "You okay I've been trying to get your attention for the past 2 minutes ?" Fred whispers carefully to miss snapes gaze and not get caught. "course I am" I smile brightly, careful not to let my facade fall. He looks at me questionably as if debating on whether or not to believe me or not. "Okay...well me and Fred are going to sneak into the kitchens after if you want to come ?" He smiles happily excited about delicious treats he and George can get.

I felt the gears turning in my head trying to come up with some sort of excuse "sorry Freddie..I'm busy with all the homework" I mumbled mentally slapping myself. It's nearing Christmas and we never particularly get homework at that time. His face scrunched up in confusion but before he could question me the bell went off signalling the end of the lesson I gathered all my equipment and quickly walked out "see you later Freddie" I said while walking backwards out the door and holding my boots close to my chest.

Once far enough away I let out the breath I'd isn't known I was holding and slowly my feelings crawl back up to the surface, the loneliness of wanting to retreat to my own comfort for the rest of my lifetime. I walk all the way back to my dorm careful to slip past everyone I may know, once finally tucked inside my dorm room safely I throw my stuff on the ground and walk towards my bed and law down the day finally catching up with me and I feel exhausted no matter the many hours sleep I get I'm never refreshed.

Hours must have passed as I stared into the dark night. I've certainly missed dinner but I didn't care to be quite honest. I'm exhausted and my thoughts are swirling everywhere. The voices booming in my mind with every second that passes "your worthless" "I wish we got rid of you when we had the chance" "you're a freak" "no one will ever love you" my parents' words echoed in my mind.

I didn't realise I was crying until I tasted the salty flavour on my tongue, my eyes flickering towards the bathroom as if calling my name out. I wrap my hand around my wrist and pull it closer to my body practically hoping to overcome my thoughts but it never works. I find myself walking towards the bathroom once inside. I close the door and go over to my makeup bag. I dig deep inside and find the thing I hate so much but at the same time the only thing that makes me feel alive.

I leaned my head against the wall and held my wrist close to my chest silent tears running down my face. I don't move from my position. I just look down at my wrist and cry. I don't understand why I do it, I don't understand how something so bad for me helps me feel alive. A soft knock knocks me out my thoughts my eyes bulge in alarm "y/n" Fred voice sounds from behind the door I jump to my feet and grab the blade from the floor my blood still there making it feel sticky I through it in my bag and pull my sleeve down before found towards the door and cracking the door open ever so slightly.

"Freddie" I breathed out the panic rising to the surface terrified that he'll find out, when my eyes scan the room I see a sheepish George standing a few feet behind Fred. I felt the colour drain from my face. This is it, this is how I lose my long time best friends and the man I've fallen head over heels for. "You okay you didn't come to dinner and it looks as if you've been crying" he states no questions in his tone. I begin stuttering knowing he's caught me. My eyes are probably bloodshot and black mascara is running down my face like streams.