Saudade | Loubbie

Chapter Seventeen

The bluish morning tint had kissed the skies and the birds up above began singing songs that only them knew about. The morning buzzes of the cars were not that loud yet, but the dogs of their neighbors were loud enough to wake Debbie up. The dews on the windows were so apparent and when Debbie moved to stretch her arms, it was when she realized that she was not alone in bed. Lou's golden hair was fanned against the pillow and the brunette froze when she realized that Lou, her ex wife, was sleeping beside her, naked.

The remnants of what happened last night slowly seeped into her senses. The kiss. Lou getting the strap of her dress off her shoulder. She, pulling Lou even closer. The whispers they did and Lou telling her that she wanted her too. She remembered the pot that they broke while kissing and walking inside. She remembered Lou dragging her towards Lou's bedroom.  Debbie knew she should go out and reflect about what just happened, but then Lou's arm flung towards her waist and she, like a dandelion, flew. The blonde pulled her back towards her and Debbie chose to be pulled. The feeling of their naked bodies touching together felt like a cotton candy dream and she let herself indulged the pleasure of it.

The blonde's bangs covered her eyes, yet Debbie could still see the curve on Lou's closed eyes -  it was perfect and so were her pinkish lips that were slightly parted. The brunette slowly moved her fingers to brush Lou's bangs away and when she did, she smiled at the sleeping figure breathing gently against her face. She couldn't lie to herself anymore, she was still in love with Lou and right at the moment, she knew she was willing to do everything for her again. If the blonde wanted waxed-sealed love letters, she would write her one for every second of every day; Debbie would sew pink dreams into words, bleed her heart for the sheet of paper, make her own blood be the ink of her pen. If Lou wanted a bouquet, Debbie would be willing to make her a garden.  Lou slowly moved again and it dawned on Debbie  how beautiful the world becomes when she's with her; the feel of her skin, her warmth, the soft flow of her hair, her crescent moon-shaped lips, her eyes that could put the stars to shame -  everything was beautiful, beautiful, just beautiful like Lou.

"Lou..." Debbie softly spoke as she tried to get away from Lou's arm that was snaked around her waist, "Wake up..."

"Hmmm no." The blonde sleepily replied as she pulled Debbie even closer, "Stay."

The brunette sighed as she turned to face Lou, "It's morning already. I have to get up to make breakfast."

"It's still early." Lou replied burying her face on the crook of Debbie's neck.

"No."

Lou finally opened her eyes and shot the brunette a look, "Stay for a little while."

"I have to get ready and make breakfast."

"Are you really hurrying for breakfast or are you hurrying because of what happened last night? Because look, to be very honest, I enjoyed every bit of it. I wanted you too and I wanted it to happen." The blonde sat up, her arm gathering up the comforter to cover her naked body as she looked at Debbie, "I love you, Debs. I still do. And I swear last night was ---"

How could someone be very beautiful when waking up? The brunette took the imagery of how beautiful Lou was before she sighed and responded to the blabbering blonde.

Debbie smiled before she cut her off with a quick kiss, "We will talk about us, okay?" She jested, eyes looking deep into Lou's ocean orbs, "But right now, I really need to make breakfast." She smiled at the blonde, "So can I go out now, honey?" She smiled once more.

Honey. Finally, that morning felt indeed like a morning.

"No." Lou grinned while shaking her head, "Kiss me first before you do."

"Easy peasy." And Debbie did kiss her.

-----

Debbie fastened her robe around her waist as she trudged down the stairs. What happened with her and Lou last night was beyond great and it felt like they were back at page one. The smile on her face was so bright, but it vanished when she noticed that their front door was open. She ran downstairs and when she reached the kitchen, she saw Julia making pancakes for Danny and to make it worse, the woman that she was jealous of, was wearing her apron.

"Oh, hey." Julia greeted as she saw Debbie by the kitchen table, "Sorry for barging in and good morning. I am making pancakes for Danny." She smiled and talked as if she and Debbie were close.

The brunette eyed Julia up and down. Julia was dolled up - her hair done and she was wearing a tank top with  leather pants and a leather jacket on. Her make up was on point and suddenly she felt insecure standing in front of Julia with her messy hair and robe.

"Normally I would make coffee for Lou, but her coffee maker is broken." Julia continued and laughed, "Did you know about that? And oh, anyway, is Lou awake?" She looked at Debbie smiling, "We have a date today and I feel like she forgot about it since we planned it a month ago." She wore the apron off and wiped her hands on it, "Do you mind if I go up to her room?"

Hearts couldn't be broken because it's made by flesh, but at that moment, she felt her heart pumping to break, yet she held it in. After all, an Ocean do not feel heartbreaks.

Debbie faked a smile, "No. Not at all."

"Thanks." Julia jested, but just as she was about to exit the kitchen, Lou appeared in just her robe too, "Oh, there you are, baby!" Julia enthuasiastically spoke as she approached the blonde with a kiss.

"Julia, what are you doing here?"

Julia held Lou's waist and giggled, "Surprise? We have a date! We planned it last month so here I am! And oh, by the way, I cooked Danny's favorite." She continued and tiptoed to kiss Lou on her lips, "So why don't you take a bath and I'll wait her for you, baby?"

Debbie wanted to laugh hearing Julia calling Lou baby, but the pain and jealousy pricking her heart were too much and she stood here, just a meter away from Lou and Julia, trying so hard not to cry. And Lou did not fail to notice the tears dwelling inside the brunette's eyes; she did not fail to notice Debbie biting her bottom lip and taking deep muted sighs.

"Julia..." Lou spoke and freed herself away from her, "I forgot about it. I am so sorry, but I don't think I can make it." She looked at Julia apologetically, "I haven't told Debbie and Danny about it and I need to look after Danny --"

"What's the purpose of having Debbie here?" Julia cut her off, "No offense, but Debbie should take care of Danny while you are not around because she is Danny's mother. She needs to take care of Danny. It shouldn't always be you, bab --"

"You can go, Lou." Debbie cut Julia off, "Julia is right." She shrugged her shoulders and smiled, "I am the mother that is why I should be the one to cook and to mother my own kid." She said emphasizing the word own as she walked backed towards the kitchen, "And Lou, Julia is right, you need to go and get ready already. No worries, I am here and I'll cook Danny's favorite pancakes." And with that, she got the stack of pancakes that Julia cooked and trashed it down to the bin with a smile.

***