Saudade | Loubbie

Chapter Forty Four

"Where are we going, mom?"

Lou looked back at Blaire who was sitting on the bed. She gave her the sweetest smile she could give her before she pulled some socks out of the drawer and walked back towards her kid who was still so confused about them going out at night.

"Didn't you tell me that when the stars are up, I should sleep already?" Blaire added as she looked out at the glass wall in front of her, "And I can see stars now mommy."

"Well, yes, I did, but there will always be special cases. Your feet, sweetie, please."

"What special cases?"

"We are going out with Debbie tonight."

"With mommy Debbie?" Blaire hissed in excitement, almost jumping and Lou laughed, not knowing if what was cuter: Blaire's reaction or the way she called Debbie mommy.

"Mommy?" She asked, her brow raised, teasing Blaire.

"Ops. I bet you didn't know. She's my mommy no. 2. But hey!" Blaire jested as she jumped towards Lou to which the blonde was so thankful that she was able to catch her; her back landed flat on the floor and the little kid was now on top of her, "Don't be jealous, mom." Blaire spoke as she cupped her mom's face, "You will always be superior and I will always love you the most!"

Lou held Blaire as she sat back on the floor, "You better!" She answered before she started tickling her daughter causing Blaire to fall into a loop of laughter and deep down in Lou's heart, she silently wished that it was true, that Debbie was really Blaire's other mom.

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Lou Miller

"And some says that stars are the homes of little fairies. Do you know that Blaire?"

Blaire nodded and laughed on my lap. She was driving us around - away and away from the resort. I could see the resort fading in the back and ahead were these palm trees and the gleamy stars, twinkling and sparkling. The radio was crooning a song and Debbie was singing and so was Blaire. The sky broke open and the once cotton candy clouds were drench in golden stars. The air smelled sweet, like the brink of rain. The night was beautiful like the hollow of Debbie's collarbones. I pulled the windows down and let my hand out. The lights on the long highway turned gold, and it casted a film on my skin. Debbie muttered something and Blaire laughed again, but I couldn't understand a single thing. All I knew was that Debbie was driving the car in her black onesie, her red lips were to die for and the night was perfect.

"You asked your mom, baby."

I was taken aback when I heard Debbie spoke. She looked at me and smiled and then Blaire was now moving to face me. I could see the crescent moon following us through the rearview mirror. Tonight's perfect.

"Can we eat breakfast tomorrow? The three of us? Mommy Debbie said she will give me ice cream for breakfast."

"Nuh uh. I said, I will let you have ice cream for breakfast if you will finish your breakfast food and that you're gonna be a good girl."

I rolled my eyes at Debbie before I kissed the tip of Blaire's nose, "Hmmm let us see, okay?" I glanced at Debbie and reached out for her other hand as she took the wheel using her other one, "You're gonna have breakfast with us? What about him?" I asked softly, Blaire now too occupied watching the city lights dancing to even listen to what I asked.

She squeezed my hand, softly and tenderly, as if she was trying to inject an unuttered promise. I could see the way her eyes gleamed as she took the image of the road. Her lashes long and her pointed nose. I waited for a response, let myself bathed in the image of her and just when I was about to look away and focus on Blaire who was still in awe of the night drive, Debbie mouthed a fuck him.

"I love you." She glanced at me sweetly and Blaire jolted on my lap.

"Did I just hear an I love you?" Blaire asked, her eyes twinkling like the stars above.

"Yes." Debbie snickered, "I love your mom." She smiled at me, "I love her so much." She added before she went back to focus on the road, "And I love you too Blaire! So, so much!"

Blaire giggled as she moved and kissed Debbie hastily on the cheek. The wind was behind us and I could see the highway getting longer. Debbie was grinning as she drove and I could not think of anything else except that she, the woman wheeling the car, was the keeper of my heart and in her smile, I was drowning. If Debbie was death, I would be very ready to welcome her.

"She's sleeping." I whispered after I kissed Blaire on her forehead.

My daughter was sleeping deeply on the backseat of the car and we were here - on top of a hill, the city flickering with so much light in front of us and fireflies behind us dancing. I slowly placed a fleece blanket over Blaire, making sure that no mosquito could eat her up and when I moved myself out of the car, Debbie was in front, her palms clasped together and damn, she was the most beautiful woman I have ever seen.

"Make a wish." She grinned, almost laughing as she moved closer to me.

"What's that?"

"Fireflies!" She answered, obviously refraining herself from giggling, she moved her clasped hands closer to my face, "Make a wish, babe."

I breathed in the moment, pausing to rethink what kind of wish should I make. My wish could not bring Danny back to life. I looked back and saw the tranquility plastered on Blaire's face as she slept and then there was Debbie, all smiles and excited as she waited for me to utter a wish. I had all the money in the world, a thriving business, a daughter that I so loved in the whole wide world and the only thing that was missing was her. I closed my eyes as I clasped Debbie's hands and silently, with a heart full of dreamy hopes, I wished for her. I wished for Debbie.

"What did you wish?" She asked, the fireflies that were trapped in her hands now flying over our heads; Debbie pressed her body against mine as I leaned on the car, "Tell me what did you wish, babe."

"If you tell a wish, it won't come true."

"Come on! Don't qoute Cinderella." She rolled her eyes before she fell serious; Debbie paused and looked at me as if I was someone who she would die for, "Come on, babe." She tucked some loose hair behind my ear, "Tell me what did you wish."

It took me a few seconds before I answered, "You. I wished for you, Debbie."

Debbie's eyes softened. The fireflies around danced and suddenly they grew even more. It felt like we were trapped inside a golden loop, but I didn't care. All I cared about was how her face softened, as if she was about to cry. And I wanted to tell her that I also wished that the world's ending in the next hours. I wanted to add and tell her that how I wished the world was going to kiss its death tomorrow so I could put her in the car back, drive away from everyone; she, Blaire and me on the car and I, not caring about anything anymore because the world was ending and I had everything I ever wanted and loved with me.

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