Saudade | Loubbie

Chapter Fifty Five

And maybe, just maybe, the sting of sweetness on her rosegold lips was never meant to reach her tongue. Perhaps, the slow, burning kisses they once shared were just a fragment of free trials and were never really meant to be theirs. Maybe, Lou and Debbie were meant to be friends, just that. The ghost of yesterday was no longer a bother to Lou, still, she knew deep down that she had pasts - that she shared with Debbie - she didn't bury properly. The sounds in her mind was telling Lou to doze off, to sleep, to rest, but how could she when her heart was screaming at her to stay awake and think about all the what ifs and what they could have beens?

The blonde eventually decided to get up from bed. Her black lingerie - Debbie's, the one Debbie owned before hugged her figure perfectly and Lou paused as she realized that on some nights, like that night, she still wore her ex-wife's clothes. Maybe it's the familiarity, or the saccharine memories attached to it, whatever it may be, Lou only knew that wearing that particular black lingerie of Debbie was comforting. She discarded her robe on the bed as she went out. She needed a milk. A coffee. She didn't really actually know what she needed, but she could fathom that she needed something. She trudged down the stairs, choosing to not turn on the light. When Lou successfully got down and reached her kitchen, instead of actually opening a cartoon of milk, her hand was right away holding a bottle of scotch.

"I went here for milk or coffee. Damn." The blonde muttered to herself, shaking her head, yet she still went to get herself a glass,  " I guess scotch is winn --" She paused as she heard her doorbell rang.

Blaire was still at Tammy's and she should be home the next day. Not that night. Still, Lou figured that her kid might have missed her that she begged and asked Tammy to send her home. And oh boy, Lou missed Blaire too. She missed her giggles running around the house. The blonde put down her glass and the bottle of scotch on the table as she went for the door. Now too excited to greet Blaire and to ask her how's her weekend.

"Baby you're home! I figured --"

Blaire was not the one behind the door. It was Debbie. Debbie in her black slacks and white long sleeve shirt with three of the buttons unbuttoned. And suddenly, Lou felt the whole world spinning. She was there, dumbfounded and standing in front of her ex-wife wearing her ex-wife's black lingerie. How the hell would she explain to Debbie why she was still wearing it? Lou could sense that Debbie was shocked and she didn't fail to notice how Debbie's eyes ran from her chest down to her bare legs.

Lou shook her head as she chuckled nervously, "I'm sorry. I thought you're Blaire. Figured she's home now. That she was the one. That she was you." She rambled.

"Oh." Debbie uttered and when she did, somehow the moon lit down on her and it casted a golden ray upon her brunette waves; the point of her nose too divine, the carved of her red lips was perfect and her brown, deep brown eyes were like the eyes of the greek gods who burned cities after cities searching for love; Debbie was too beautiful standing in front of Lou, "Blaire's not home?"

"No. Still at Tammy's."

"She called." Debbie bit her lip as she slowly realized that she fell for Blaire's trap, "Told me she wanted me to come to help her homework because you're busy." She explained as she slowly laughed, embarassed and still didn't know what to do in front of her ex-wife.

"This kid." Lou muttered, "I'm sorry for the inconvenience."

"Oh, no. It's fine."

Debbie nodded as she smiled at Lou. And Lou, smiled at her too. Both didn't say a word, both have been rendered speechless at the moment. Debbie knew she should be saying a goodnight or a goodbye to Lou for Blaire was not there, still, it seemed like her tongue had been cut and her feet seemed to have been glued on the spot where she was standing.