Saudade | Loubbie

Chapter Seventy

To say that Lou was in love with Debbie was an understatement. She was madly in love with her. In Debbie's  gaze, Lou was feverish, like a sickly and almost rotten pomegranate wanting to be picked. Because of Debbie, she had done things she was not proud of and that was something Lou was hiding underneath her silver skin.

"What time is it?" Debbie jolted awake as she snuck further into the crook of the blonde's neck.

"Two in the afternoon."

Debbie sleepily kissed her earlobe, "I'm still sleepy. Still so sleepy."

Lou glanced at her with a smile, "Sleep some more."

The skies were raining down on them and Debbie went on to silently sleeping, naked, on top of the blonde. The aftermath of their lovemaking was evident as their clothes were still on the floor discarded. Lou slowly looked up at the wall clock. She only had two more hours left before she would fetch Blaire at school; she was sure Debbie would wake up by then. As Lou watched her lover sleeping on top of her, she was not able to resist kissing her forehead. She loved her. That was for sure. Lou loved Debbie with all of her heart. She was madly in love with her. Always had been. But would Debbie still love her if she would know the truth?

The blonde closed her eyes as the fragments of what had happened started to flashback. For years, nobody really know what happened and even herself. She was so good at making herself believe that everything everyone believed happened was the truth. Lou believed in her own lies, and that was the hidden tragedy that she had kept inside her heart for years. 

Without saying, Lou knew that Pistis, the goddess of truth, was shouting at her already. She knew the devil had already saved her a seat in hell. At the moment, the blonde felt so much as if she was Daedalus; she felt the grieving of him and how heartbroken he was when Icarus fell to his death. The blonde realized that Icarus was Danny, except for the fact that she, hserself, was not Daedalus, for she was the sun who melted Icarus' wings and eventually was the reason for Icarus' death. And Danny, her daughter, was Icarus.

Lou stumbled her way into the house. Drunk. Barely conscious of what was happening, yet she knew she had fun. The lipstick stains that were left on her collar were reminders of how much fun she had that night. Her feet were sore as she crashed onto the sofa, peeling her boots off and eventually taking off the rings adorning her fingers. It was two in the morning. The whole New York was alive, she was alive, but Danny, who was almost two, was not.

Drunk, Lou climbed upstairs. She tiptoed to where her daughter was asleep. She was sure she was asleep for she tucked her into bed before going out. But when she opened the nursery, and looked into Danny's crib, all the vodka left the blonde's system as she saw how purple Danny was. Lou immediately picked up the baby and her heart sunk when she felt that Danny was not breathing at all and what was worst was that Danny's body was cold. Danny was lifeless.

A month ago, Debbie had took off her wedding ring and eventually sent her the signed divorce papers which Lou, after receiving it and seeing it already signed by Debbie, signed it too.  With Debbie returning the ring and Lou being handed with the divorce papers, the forever they promised each other seemed to be ending as suddenly as it began. The vows that have perfectly captured both of their hearts were now nothing more than dust in the wind. Vows were severed, but it was Danny, their daughter, who took the burnt of the end of the relationship. Debbie was gone - took the flight to London, and so was Lou - who devoted her entire time to her bar. What was once a happy home suddenly fell apart as it slowly crumbled in the face of changes.