×trapped×

30: toxic relationships

Sapnap sat on the couch still in the blanket. Charlie had crawled beside him and eventually sat right beside him with his knees at his chest like he usually sat.
Wilbur sat down a cup of tea and handed Charlie a hot cocoa.

Foolish came downstairs and blinked. He sat down on the other couch. Wilbur sat beside sapnap and hummed. "Are you ready to talk?" Sapnap frowned. "I-... I don't know.. what happened.. but over a week ago I.. I was home alone and had a.. uh.. panic attack.?"

Wilbur frowned. "Oh.." Charlie looked at him. "I-i didn't tell dream and- he was with George.. he is again today.. i-i feel like a really bad boyfriend- i-if he has to go to someone else- i haven't been as affectionate and-" He covered his face and hiccuped.

Charlie sat up and put a hand on his back frowning. Wilbur rubbed his back. "Hey- your frustrated and sad I understand.. showing affection is hard when you aren't feeling happy.." sapnap hiccuped again. "B-but he deserves better-"

Wilbur pulled him in to a hug. "Do you feel like.. dream isn't making you as happy as you need.?" Sapnap froze. Dream was- everything to him.. but.. there were things dream couldn't.. no. He couldn't say that.

He did love dream- but.. they needed to work on their relationship.. "h-he makes me happy.. we just.. need to work on things.." Wilbur nodded slowly. "Well.. when your ready you should talk to him about your feelings.. clearly something upset you to have a panic attack and cry when I called you.."

He shifted. "I just.. I was having really bad thoughts.. a-and i.... when dream left today to see George I.. I guess I just.. felt like I've been such a bad boyfriend that he had to go to someone else.. i-i just hate myself because of it.. I haven't been as cuddly and talkative.. it's like I'm pushing him away.."

Wilbur continued to rub his back. "Hey.. I understand.. big panic attacks can cause stuff like that.. depression.. it's hard to work through it.. but having someone there for you is key.." He cupped sapnaps cheek.

"We understand you need someone to talk to.. and holding it all in isn't good for you.." sapnap looked down. "I-i-... I don't like telling Dream things like this because I- I don't want him to feel I'm just dumping on him.. he's sensitive and.." sapnap could hardly tell them why he couldn't talk to him..

"You don't feel like he'd be able to comfort you right?" He froze. Maybe.. when sapnaps upset dream tries his best.. he cuddles him, but he's non verbal. He doesn't sit and talk to him about what's bothering him.

He tries, but he's just not a pushy person. He's a follower. Goes along with what people say and do. So if sapnaps upset, he let's him be. He tries to comfort him, but it's not the same as someone who can comfort you with hugging and talking to you.

Reassuring you, it makes you feel better that way. So that's what Wilbur was doing.. just rubbing his back and asking him these questions, it's what he needed. And if dream went to someone else well.. maybe he could too.

About an hour of talking and sapnap was told he could lay down and rest as long as the tv didn't bother him. He said it was ok. Wilbur sat beside him and Charlie on the other side of Wilbur. Sapnap leaned back and looked at the arm of the couch.

Their relationship seemed perfect. If one of them needed something they could get help. Poly relationships seemed better than just two people in sapnaps situation he thought..

With these three, foolish was shy. So if he needed to comfort someone he may not be the best. That's where Charlie and Wilbur came in. Charlie would be worried and talk to Wilbur or foolish, while being very affectionate.

Wilbur was amazing at comforting people. And especially his two partners because he knew them best. Sometimes they needed space until they calmed down, sometimes they needed him right there. So sapnap just.. wished he had something like that.

Wilbur ask him if he wanted to stay the night, but he said he probably should get home. Just in case dream gets home. Wilbur saw even if sapnap was upset with dream, he was attached to caring about his feelings.

That wasn't good.. he needed to care about himself more. He needed someone to teach him he needed to worry about himself. On the car ride home he told him that.

Sapnap didn't respond. He didn't know what to say. He knew it was true, but.. dream would be sad if he said he needed a break.. he couldn't just.. make dream go somewhere else.

He got home and thanked Wilbur, and went to his room. Dream wasnt home. He sighed and looked at the ceiling. It was ok.....