A new life

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TW: giving birth/ mentioning of pain

Pov y/n 

A loud scream comes over my lips and sweat is running down my forehead.
"You're doing great, baby. It's almost done." Natasha says and slightly squeezes my hand.
I'm not able to speak and just pant exhausted.
"It's all done very soon." She keeps talking to cheer me up.
It doesn't really work. 

It's the worst pain I've ever went through but I know why I'm doing that. So I try to concentrate on that instead of the pain shooting through my body, almost ripping me apart.
I usually handle pain very well but this one is different, longer and way stronger.
"You need to push for a few seconds now." A midwife tells me and I look at Nat, exhausted, afraid and with teary eyes. 

"You can do it, baby. You did so great and you can do this too." She encourages me and I take her other hand, that she placed around my back to keep me steady.
I shake my head and whisper: "I can't, it hurts so much."
Her eyes are soft and she rubs the back of my hand to comfort me.
"I know, my love. But it's all gonna be over soon. Can you try to push for me?" Her voice is soft and I can see that it's hard for her to say those words because it hurts her to see me in this much pain.

I nod and my grip around her hands grows tighter as I start to push, screaming and panting.
Just as I feel like giving up, the pain gets better and we hear a silent cry. 

In that exact second all of the pain faints and I look at Nat whose eyes start to get watery.
"Congratulations, it's a healthy little girl."
The midwife smiles and puts a small bundle of towels into my arms.
I don't feel the tears that are running down my face or the pain in my body. It all became unimportant as soon as I saw the tiny human in my arms. 

Her eyes are shut and she isn't all cleaned up yet but she is the prettiest little baby I've ever saw.
Nat carefully sits next to me on the bed and puts her arms around my shoulders, hugging me a little.
"You did it" She whispers with a shaky voice. "You did it. And that so well."
She presses a little kiss onto my temple, her eyes never leaving our daughter. 

"She is so beautiful." My voice is raspy and more of a mumble but she still heard me and nods, wiping away a tear from her eyes.
Nat carefully leans forward and gives our daughter a very gentle kiss onto the head.
I smile and a warm feeling spreads through my whole body and pure happiness fills my heart. This is the best day in my life, together with our wedding day.

After a little while the nurse takes the little human from my arms to measure, clean and weigh her.

I allow myself to fall back into the pillow and lay my head back.
"What do you want to call her?"
Nat and I look at each other before I give her a small nod.
"Florence Romanoff."

3 months later
I sit on the sofa, reading a book as Nat comes in, trying to sooth our baby girl.
"I think she's hungry." She hands me our daughter and I pull down my top, lay her in my arms and breastfeed her.
Nat lets herself fall onto the couch next to me, careful so she doesn't disturb the feeding. 

She just watches us and smiles.
"Thank you for making me a mother." She says and her fingertips brush ever so slightly over Florence's head.
I just smile at her and she leans over to give me a small kiss.

We've been together for five years now and married for a bit over one.
She's been open to me about not being able to give birth from the beginning. I told her not to worry about it and promised that we'll find a way to have children when it's the right time.
We wanted to be sure that we could give them a good life and a stable home. 

About a year before we got married, we started talking about children again.
It was never in doubt that we'd have at least one kid.
Natasha always wanted to have a child and I also liked the idea of being a mother.
Every time I saw her interact with Clints children it was obvious that she was meant to be a mother someday and it hurts me deeply that the Red Room took her ability to give birth.

As it came to the question how we wanted to do this I instantly told her that I would carry every child she wanted.
That was one of the few times I saw her cry.
It meant the world to her and she hugged me tightly for almost five minutes after that. That's the moment I knew I made the right decision. 

We also thought about adoption but we wanted to try to get pregnant first.
It took us a long time to find a donor but as we settled, we started the process.
It didn't work at first try or second or third but about five weeks after our wedding, the pregnancy test was positive. 

I ran screaming into her office, almost making her fall over with the chair as I hugged her tightly. At first she wanted to remind me that she was on a call with Tony and Steve but as I hold up the test and tears were streaming down my face she forgot about it and hugged me again, her face the most happy since our wedding day.
There was a lot of wild babbling and it's almost a miracle that Tony and Steve could understand what I told her. 

A week later Tony threw a party for us but only the Avengers new that it was because of my pregnancy.
For the rest of the guests, it was just a party without any reason. 

The following months went by fast and we turned Nat's office into a nursery.
Her desk fitted into our bedroom so we didn't have to extra move.
We bought everything we needed and she took great care of me while my pregnancy. It wasn't always easy but we made it. 

Picking out a name took us almost six months but we settled with Florence and we're both very happy now.
Clint helped us to baby proof our apartment and we bought another car to fit the car seat and stroller. 

We just had to stay one night in the hospital after I gave birth to Flo.
She was healthy and apart from the pain I felt great. They gave me something to help with it and we took her home. 

Ever since then I've never regretted having her.
Even though she's not always easy and can be really fuzzy sometimes, I love her as much as I love my wife and nothing in the world could make me give her away. 

Nat turned out to be an amazing mother. She always took care of Flo and looked out for me to be as well rested as possible. 

Since the birth she didn't go on another mission. She wanted to stay home with us and cherish every moment with us.
I think I've hardly ever saw someone loving their child as much as she does.
She would fight the whole world to keep our baby safe. 

I feel her eyes on me and look up at her.
She gazes into my eyes and lovingly brushes a hair strain behind my ear.
"You're so beautiful." She whispers and butterflies dance around my stomach at her words. 

It's moments like these that let me fall in love with her over and over again.
She isn't someone for huge gestures but her compliments are true and full of love and that means more to me than any other gift she could give me.     

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