Natasha Romanoff One-Shots

Hold on

TW: feeling very down, distancing from others

Pov Nat

I always fought. Fought for friends, relationships and for myself. But it doesn't matter how tired of it I am, I will always fight for her.
It's Sunday evening. The bathroom door is locked and it's silent on the other side. I knock and wait for a reaction. Several seconds pass and it's totally silent.
"I know you're in there. Please talk to me." I say and watch the closed door. The fact that I don't know what's bothering her, tears me apart internally. Because as long as I don't know what's happening inside of her, I can't really help.

Sometimes there are these moments where she shuts herself off. I give her the space she needs and when she wants and feels ready to talk to me, I'm gonna be there for her. She knows that, at least that's what I hope.

Today seems to be one of those days where something pulled her down.
"I'm here." I just say and lean my back against the door.

She is my everything and seeing her hurting and sad, makes my heart ache. I wish I could just take all her pain and transfer it into my body, or at least some of it. But I can't. The only thing I can do is being there for her. She means so incredible much to me and sometimes I'm scared to lose her. I don't know what I would do without her. We experienced a lot together in the last three years, a lot of highs but also some lows but we always made it out together.

I know how she feels and thinks, know what makes her sad and what's running through her mind. I can read in her eyes how she feels and sometimes it scares me because I'm worried to lose her. That she slips and that I can't catch her in time.

I slowly slide down and pull my knees close to my chest.
"I'm here." I repeat and lean my head against the door. "You're not alone and you don't have to go through it alone. Take all the time you need to think what you want and need right now and if you want to be with me or talk to me, I'll be here. I won't leave you, I promise."

I feel tears building up in my eyes and I wipe them away with the sleeve of my sweatshirt. I hate that she feels this bad sometimes. She doesn't deserve it, no one does. But you can't prevent it, you only can do your best to help the person.

All of these thoughts swirl around my head while I wait for any noise or motion on the other side of the door.
Thick silence settles over our apartment. My eyes stare into nothingness while I just sit and wait, being here for her. I repeat the sentence "I am here" again and again.
My sense for time left me completely and I watch as the shadows dance across the walls every time a car drives by.

My stomach grumbles quietly and my eyelids get heavy but I fight against it, for her.
I won't ever stop fighting for her, she's way too important for me to give up. I don't give up on people who mean so much to me, I will fight until the last second for her and our relationship.
It doesn't matter how hard it's gonna be because she's absolutely worth it and deserves it. She helped me through so many dark moments that I thought I would never be able to get through.
But I did because she was my rock and I will be here for her just like she was for me.

I listen into the silence but hear nothing on the other side of the door.
"Baby, please talk to me. I know it's hard but I'm here. You don't have to go through this alone. We will go through it together, just like always. It won't smash us because we are stronger than everything that the universe throws at us. You are such a strong woman und deserve all the happiness and goodness in the world. Please don't ever forget that. Sometimes you just have to fight for it, as hard as it sometimes seems to be. But you're not carrying your armor alone. I will carry as much as I can for you, I will stay by your side and attend every fight with you."

Silence.

Then there's a quiet noise on the other side and I get up. A key is being turned and the door opens slowly. I see her teary face and a sad shimmer in her eyes. I take a few steps towards her and open my arms. The decision to let me help is all hers.

It doesn't take long and she comes closer and lets herself fall into my arms. I sense that she doesn't have the strength to stand. So I slowly kneel down with her until we sit on the ground. She instantly hides her face in my shoulder and a slight shiver runs through her body. I stroke her back calmingly.

"Everything will be fine." I mumble and kiss her head gently. Her hands dig into my sweatshirt and her grip tightens. I pull her closer and just hold her. If she wants to talk she will do it on her own, I won't force her. But right now she only seems to need to be close to me.
A second shiver runs through her body and I rest my head softly on top of hers.
"You are strong, you are great, you are perfect and you will win this battle." I whisper softly while I keep on holding her.

Seeing her this vulnerable hurts but I'm also very thankful that she feels safe enough around me to show it. I would never take advantage of her vulnerable moments.

We sit like this for a long while and she seems to calm down. Her body doesn't shiver from her sobs anymore and her grip softens. She sits up a little and looks at me. Seeing her like this hurts me because I hate that she feels this way. I gently brush some hair out of her face and cup her face with my hand. Almost automatically, she leans into it and her eyes lock with mine.

"It's okay." I assure her. She nods and starts to tell me shakily, what tore her apart. I listen and nod.

When she finishes, she looks at me helplessly. I take her hands in mine and squeeze them a little.
"Whatever you decide, I will be by your side and I will support you, no matter what will happen. You won't lose me. I won't give up on you. I will fight with and for you as long as needed."
A tiny smile appears on her lips and she kisses me softly. She tastes a little salty from the tears and I feel her pain. When we pull away, I look into her eyes to see a small glimpse of hope in them.

I get up and pull her with me. We go to the bedroom together and lay in bed. I pull the covers over us and hold her close. Her head rests on my chest and I know that it won't take long until she'll fall asleep because whenever she listens to my heartbeat, she seems to fall asleep easier. And like this we took care of the next problem, at least partly. 

A/n: I originally didn't write it as a part of this book but I thought it might fit.
Thank you for reading and love to you all <3
And remember, you are an amazing human being and I am proud of you for being who you are and everything you overcome. <3