Chapter 41

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~ Calum's P.O.V ~

"I choose....." Ryder was Cut off by her phone ringing. She sucked in a breath before speaking again "give me one second." With that she pulled her phone out of her pocket and raised an eyebrow before walking into the bathroom and closing the door behind her. 

     We all exchanged confused looks but remained silent. I really hope she chooses me and decided not to give up all the years we've been together just to be with a guy who won't treat her right. I know I've fucked up but I don't want to lose Ryder. I looked over at Mali and she was giving me a synthetic look causing me to bite down on my lip from the pure anxiety that was coursing through me. I don't know what I would do if I didn't have Ryder.

       My train of thought was interrupted by Ryder walking out of them bathroom and back to the place she was standing before. As I look deep into her dark brown eyes I can tell somethings not right. I want to know what's wrong but I can't bring myself to ask her, I'm too caught up in the fear that she might leave me

        "Sorry about that." Ryder said looking down at her feet as Tears ran down her face as she looked between Zayn, Michael and I.   "I choose..... to be happy." Once those words left her mouth I raised an eyebrow in confusion

      "What are you trying to say? Who makes you happy?" I asked approached her. I placed my hand on the side of her face before lightly stroking her cheek with my thumb. She harshly bit down on her lip.

        "You all do. It's selfish of me to try to hold on to all of you, so......." She trailed off, not wanting to finish her sentence.

         "So?" Michael pushed for her to continue.

              " I can't keep on hurting you guys but I doubt I can stop. I've tried and it worked for 5 years but I fucked it all up but cheating again. I love you all so much, so...... I'm letting you all go" She said causing everyone to give her a shocked look and me to withdraw my hand from her face.

          "What do you mean your letting us all go?" I said with tears building up in my eyes. How could she do this to me?

      "I mean I'm not choosing any of you, I'm going to be alone." She said looking over at Michael and Zayn who has the same look as me causing. I looked over at Liam who was nodding his head in approval, Eliana whose mouth was dropped open in surprise, Mali who had a look of sadness and disappointment on her face, Louis who had a confused look on his face, and ed who looked completely uncomfortable with the whole situation. I dropped to my knees and placed my head against her stomach as I wrapped my arms around her and cried.

      "Please say this is just a cruel joke." I cried out causing her to have to bite down on her lip so she wouldn't cry even more. Ryder ran her hand through my hair before going to her knees and kissing my lips. The kiss was not rushed or filled with lust, it was a long passionate kiss. 

           "I'm only going to end up hurting you again and again. You don't deserve that, you deserve a women who can commit to you and stay faithful to you, not someone like me who always ends up fucking up. I love you, so I have to let you go. Find a women who will love you for you and treat you better than I ever could." She said as she cried harder.

       "But I don't want anyone else, I want you and only you. Please don't do this to me, I can't take losing you. I love you so much" I said laying my head on her shoulder.

             "Eventually you will get over me and you will find someone better." Ryder said wiping away some of my tears

      "There is no one better for me, it's only you." I said before pressing my trembling lips against hers. I feel like I'm getting stabbed in the heart multiple times but I need to do this.

             "Yes there is. Please just forget about me." She said briefly looking over at Michael and Zayn who look like they were about to curl up into a ball, Mali look like she was about to kill her, and everyone else was lightly crying or staring with their mouth wide open.

          "You selfish Bitch." I heard Michael mumble causing me to snap my head in his direction to see him glaring at Ryder with tears in his eyes. "You don't give a Fuck about how we feel, you only care about how you feel and what you want. Why can't you just be happy with having one of us? Why do you want us all or nothing at all? Do you realize how much Shit you've put us through? We have all sacrificed something for you and yet you don't seem to care. Calum Fucked up our friendship and have up his life back home just to be with you, I spent 5 years trying to get you back, and Zayn would do anything to protect you and yet you still aren't satisfied." Michael shut his eyes and took a deep breath before speaking again "What do you want, Ry? Because if you haven't noticed we're all completely confused." Everyone nodded in agreement.

         "I want you all to leave."

     

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