I'm yours

Chapter 9

“I am gay”

“I thought it was pretty obvious, but I guess not.” Said hyunjin while scratching the back of his head

Although hyunjin said it like it was not a big deal, they both knew the repercussions of this leaking into the media. Korea is one of the most conservative countries when it comes to LGBTQ rights and the discrimination people face in their workplace due to associating with them was rampant. Although there had been minor changes in the awareness of people, it didn’t change the fact that this could easily be a career killer.

It was the first time that someone came out to Felix and he was not mentally prepared to deal with the situation they were in. although he wanted to say something, he kept his mouth shut due to the fear of saying something which he shouldn’t say. But it didn’t help that he was continuously staring at hyunjin with his mouth open.

“Are you disgusted by me? I can understand if you don’t want to be friends anymore. This is my first time saying this out loud to someone other than my family so I don’t know if it’s okay with you. If you want then I can keep my distance from you going forward.” said hyunjin who was imagining the worst possible case during this situation

“No…I mean no, I am not disgusted with you. I am not that shallow of a person. And I am glad that you could trust me enough to say that to me. Thank you for trusting me. But can I ask a question?”

“Sure, go ahead.”

“Aren’t you afraid that other people will know about your sexuality and then publicly shun you for being gay? I have seen my friends getting bullied due to that and although I wanted to help them, I couldn’t because I was not strong enough.”

“First of all, I was afraid once upon a time but now I am not. My brothers know about this and they still love me dearly. And second of all, the person who would dare to defame me or anything of that sort can say goodbye to their jobs. I have more than enough power to do that.”

“But wouldn’t your business partners resent you or use this against you?”

“I made sure that I do business with people who keep their personal feelings away from their workplace, so as long as I bring them cash, they won’t do anything against me.”

“You did plan out all of this before, didn’t you? I didn’t expect you to be thinking that far into the future.” Said Felix with a light chuckle

“Although I didn’t want to treat my sexuality with such a businesslike manner, I don’t have any other option. We all live in a world where being a part of LGBTQ society can very well end your career. There are still several countries in the world, where being gay is considered a crime and is punishable by capital punishment---"

“But I didn’t try to hide away, I am still in the forefront and if anyone asks me about my sexuality, I won’t hide it anymore and answer them honestly because I may have much to lose but they don’t have the power to do that. As much as I hate it, I can’t deny the fact that money is power, and being the third richest in the country after my brothers helps me strengthen my position.” Continued hyunjin

“I am glad that you told this to me. And I promise that I won’t say this to anyone. Simply put, it is none of my business.” Said Felix with a comforting smile

“Thank you.”

“Just a question, did your parents also know about you before they passed away?”

“I don’t think they knew, and I never got the courage to tell them. Although my brothers knew about this long ago, my parents were kept in the dark. I don’t know how they would react if they were still alive.”

“I am sure they would have loved you no matter what. I believe that they would have loved you regardless of your sexuality.”

“That is sweet of you to say.”

Although it might not seem like a big deal to many people, it was surely a big deal for both hyunjin and Felix. For Felix, it was the first ray of hope for having something more than a friendship with hyunjin. He was grateful that hyunjin could trust him enough to let him in on this secret. Although Felix was still not ready to come out to him, he was sure that someday he can do that. For him, for hyunjin. And for hyunjin, it was his first step on opening up to someone, he experienced a warmth that he never did before and it comforted him silently that he finally had someone, who he can share his thoughts with. He was glad to have felix as a friend.

Suddenly, they were disturbed in their thoughts when hyunjins doorbell rang. Hyunjin was not expecting anyone at the moment and he became a little worried about the possibility of a stranger wanting to harm Felix due to today’s incident. But after they looked into the outside monitoring system installed in the house, they calmed down as it was his other members who came here looking for him after not finding him in their dorm.

“Please come in, I have to talk about a few things with you all.” said hyunjin while allowing all the members to come inside

“Thank you for inviting us but Felix, what are you doing here? Aren’t you supposed to rest in the dorm?” asked chan

“I asked him to join me for dinner as he was all alone and I didn’t think it would be good to leave him by himself in this situation. Sorry for making you all worried.” Replied hyunjin

“It’s okay. Thank you for taking care of Felix. Didn’t you say you have something to tell us? What is it?”

“It’s nothing different from before but I just need to elaborate something, so please take a seat.”
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After hyunjin and the group members decided on the next course of action for this situation, the members said their goodbyes and left. Although they didn’t show it easily, they all were really glad that hyunjin was supporting them and caring for them as if he was their long-time friend and not their boss. While they all were talking about the day’s activities, Felix was still lost in his thoughts about the things that had happened today.

Although he was embroiled in a scandal, he was still happy about finding out more about his crush. He was glad that hyunjin told him one of his deepest secrets and he was glad that hyunjin was the one who comforted him when he needed it the most. Felix was slowly but surely falling in love with his boss and he wasn’t sure what to expect of it.

As Felix went to sleep, he was still thinking about the things that transpired today between hyunjin and him. But unbeknownst to him, hyunjin was also thinking about the things that had happened today. He was wondering about the strange feeling he always had when he was around Felix. Why did he tell him his secret within days of meeting each other? Why did he feel warm when he was with him? Why did he like his company? There were only questions, but no answers to them.

All these things kept pestering hyunjin and Felix until they both finally drifted off to the dreamland after a tiring day with just one final question going around in their subconscious mind.

“Am I falling in love?”