Rose Red

"French"

After a few minutes of thinking my eyes widen. I didn't hear it. No. I wasn't paying attention. No. I wasn't focused enough. No. I was in front of him. No. My back was on his chest. I should've felt it. No. I quickly toss myself into him. "I'm so sorry." I brace myself for his next move. He basically collapses himself into my body and traps me in a bear hug. I repeat the words to him at least ten times.

"I'm so so sorry auggie." He shakes his head on my shoulder. "Not your fault." I was too focused on my self. No. I'm so selfish. It's my fault. I gasp and pull back.

It's my fault.

I quickly let him go and run to my room. What have I done. He's never gonna trust me again.

I quickly undress myself and take a shower. I try and wash away my guilt but I can feel it slowly eating away at my bones. My body gets weaker. My brain begins to think in cursive. I try to get out of the shower as fast as possible before I collapse. I pull on some undies and a t-shirt that doesn't belong to me before throwing myself on my bed. I stare up at the ceiling. What did I do?

Auggie's POV

I watch as she runs away from me. Why did she run? Is she afraid of me? Afraid of what I might do? No. That can't be it. She's been through this too many times.

I'm still standing in the kitchen when I hear her stumbling out of the bathroom. She took a shower? Is she trying to wash me off? Does she not trust me anymore? I tell myself that that's not true but I honestly don't know. She's usually pretty vocal. Maybe if I just talk to her.

I hastily make my way up the steps almost falling when I come to a halt outside her door. Her door is never closed. We don't close doors anymore. I listen for any sound and when I don't hear anything I barge right in. I guess I did it too quickly because she jumps hard. Even after accidentally scaring her she doesn't look at me. Slowly, I make my way to her, lay down beside her and stare at the ceiling. She doesn't move away but you can kind of tell that she wants to. I try and lighten the mood by making a joke.

"You can really see the stars tonight. Wow, was that a shooting star?" I point with my hand to make it even more believable and when I hear her try to hold in a laugh i smirk. "Don't hide it. Your piggy laugh is cute." My smirk grows when I hear her gasp. Next thing I know she's trying to push me off the bed.

"Hey hey hey! Stop!" She continues trying to push me off. "Take it back! I don't have a piggy laugh!" I toss my hands up and catch her foot. "You're right." She stops kicking me. "It's more of a hyena." Her jaw drops and she quickly pushes me with her other foot.

"Here I was feeling bad but here you come bullying me!" I squint at the wall. "Feeling bad?" I turn to her from my position on the floor and see her pouting. "Why?"

"I wanted a blanky too badly that I didn't hear it...." I take a deep breath. That explains everything. Literally everything. "It's okay bella. You realized and that's what matters." She nods at me and holds her arms open for a hug.

I hesitate but give her one and she quickly falls asleep in my arms.
-
Bella's POV

The next few days consisted of sitting around eating, watching tv, and sleeping. For Auggie at least. My days have been full of sleeping and watching him closely.

After his therapy appointment two days ago he looked very angry and close to destroying the house. I'm not sure what they spoke of but it apparently wasn't good.

I don't want to push him into opening up but I also want to help him.

It's not like he's angry with me or even snapping at me. It's just that it's been a few months and I know him well enough to know that he's still upset.