Wildest dreams || Charles Leclerc x Max Verstappen (lestappen)

I don't want to feel what I'm feeling

Tw: internalised homophobia, implied violence. If you don't like reading those subjects please don't! I don't want you to feel bad. Just take the title of this chapter as a description on what it's about. It's enough to understand the next chapter!

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Max was now seated on his sofa, playing on his PlayStation. At noon he arrived home from his trip from Barcelona. He did his laundry and slept for a bit, the hangover created by the night before still lingering around. When he woke up again he made a salad for himself before he decided to play some fifa. He had played four matches, but even though he put on quite the team in the game. He still lost all of them, he almost never lost.

His mind kept going back to the events of te last 48 hours. Wining his first race in formula 1 in his first weekend driving for the team. In a not so championship winning car. Then partying all-night. And then going back to Charles. He was so glad the Monegask had come back to wake him up. To be fair he was really confused why Charles had risked missing his own flight to help him out. they weren't hating each other anymore but it wasn't like they were really friends either. He liked him, and he wanted to be friends with Charles. But he just couldn't imagine Charles wanting to be friends with him.

He kept replaying the clip in his head running trough the airport with him while the Monegask held his wrist, looking at each other while laughing. The tingeling feeling the touch left on him. While looking in to Charles's eyes, those beautiful green mixed with golden eyes.
Max quickly shook his head, trying to get rid of the thoughts he just had, You're not supposed to think that his eyes are beautiful you twat! He thought to himself. But before he knew it his mind was going in overdrive again. Thinking about the boyish face with the messy brown locks, slightly shorter then the years before. The mole on the left side of his cheek perfectly placed besides his nose. The dimples he got when smiling at him....
'NO, NO, NO, Max stop it!' He growled at himself. 'You're disgusting, you can't think this way, you're not a faggot for crying out loud!' He played that sentence over and over in his head. Making him think back to some situation from the years prior.

+

Max's was on a family holiday  with his parents and sister. Because Max lived with his father and Victoria with their mum. Both parents had decided to go on a yearly holiday to let at least give their kids a little bit of bonding time while growing up, given that even though divorce wasn't anything exceptional in this world. Their living situation kind of was. Even though they didn't like the idea of splitting up their children. They ultimately decided that with max's exceptional talent, it would only be fair to Max to give him the best chances to reach to top of the autosport world. And that was living with his father. The man wasn't always the nicest but the man surely knew what he was doing, and being able to have learned from his own mistakes in the hard world of motor racing and using it to his advantage later on.

They were sitting on a terrace eating some ice cream, when he heard his father growl under his breath. 'That's disgusting.' Max followed his fathers gaze. The man was looking at two boys, approximately around 18. They were holding hands while walking on the other side of the street.
Max heard his mother answer. 'Come on Jos, they are doing nothing wrong, there a loads of couples holding hands.'' His father shot her a glare. 'Yeah, but this is not normal, and I don't want it in front of the eyes of my kids, they might think that it is normal!' His mom sighed disappointedly. ''Their is noting wrong with it Jos, and watching other doesn't make someone gay all of a sudden. And even if they were , also that would be alright.' Jos crossed  his arms over the other while rolling his eyes and leaning back in his chair. You could see he wanted to argue on his ex wife's statement. But ultimately decided not to, not wanting to cause a scene, being a former f1 driver still got him recognised wherever he went. And he couldn't use the bad press, he had enough of that already lately.