Wildest dreams || Charles Leclerc x Max Verstappen (lestappen)

Baby lets hurt tonight

It had been two months, two months since he had been pulled in to that alley.

Two months since he felt belittled, like he wasn't enough.

Two months that he doubted himself and doubted everything

Two months of wondering if he would ever loose this feeling

Two months of hiding when he wasn't racing

Two month of being scared of ruining Max's life

Two months they hadn't touched, at least not really

Two months, it had been two months.

61 days , 1464 hours, 87840 minutes.

Scratch that... 87841

Charles noticed it wasn't only getting harder for him but also for Max. Max had tried to give him space, went along with his wishes. He had kept his distance, he had come to him and listened when he called in the middle of the night when he had dreamt about this bad nightmare they were in, he had done everything right and Charles wanted to desperately give him back what he deserves but he just couldn't.

When Max had asked him out, for a coffee, for a bar, even golfing Charles had always invited their friends in too. He wanted to be alone with Max but he just couldn't.

'Hey babe' Max had said on FaceTime.
'Hey' he smiled
'What do you say about us going on a hike?' He had tried, hopeful as Charles smile faltered.
'Maxy, that is a lovely idea bu-' he didn't have to finish.
'It's okay' he saw Max try to smile at him though he saw  the hurt in his eyes.

''Ho-how about you come over to my mums? W-with Pierre and Lando?' He blurted out. It maybe didn't sound like much but this was the first time Charles had proposed to hang out again though he still didn't dare to be alone. It was a step. A small one, but it was one.
Though Max wasn't completely fond of the idea of hanging around with their friends again he also knew this was a step forward so he was quickly to agree on the plans and arranging it all.

On the way to Charles's mum's Pierre had asked 'still the same?' And Max just nodded.

As the threesome arrived Pascale quickly opened the door and greeted them in, closing the door behind them as she gave Lando and Pierre a greeting hug. Before she enveloped Max in a tight embrace, as she pulled back a little and rubbing his biceps a compassionate and grateful smile at him as she whispered 'thank you for not giving up on him'

She had been delighted when she found out the couple was back together again and so afraid when she noticed her son shutting the dutchman out. So she was grateful that Max never gave up. She and him had been texting and calling some times.

She gave him another hug before they followed the two other drivers in to the living room, who had already found Charles and Arthur there.

That evening they had fun, playing on the PlayStation and chatting about. While they enjoyed the delicious but healthy snacks Pascale had prepared for them. Charles couldn't help but sometimes stop and stare at the dutchman. The way he looked so concentrated during FIFA, never wanting to lose, handling the controller in his hands with military precision. Or the way he laughed while heartedly at Lando And Arthur's jokes, a hand on his stomach and his grin wide.
The way he scrunched up his face as he found something funny or laughed about his own jokes. Charles just couldn't help to admire him from afar.

Also Max had noticed the stares on him as he blushed and smiled. At some point they were seated on the ground, their backs resting against the seats of the couch. Max carefully brushed his pinky over his. A faint blush creeping on the monegasques face.

But as soon as Max wanted to grab his hand Charles had excused himself to go to the bathroom, though Max very well knew he wasn't. So after about twenty minutes he excused himself too as he went to look for him. The group in the living room giving him a compassionate smile.

As he went upstairs he saw Charles bedroom door agape. He was sitting at his window staring in to the night sky illuminating the Monaco harbor.

Charles probably hadn't heard him come in so Max decided to make his presence know.
'Charlie?' He had asked as the monegasque looked up. A single tear running over his cheek
'C-can I come in?' He asked carefully as Charles just nodded.

He went to sit on the bed, close to him but keeping his distance.
He took a deep breath 'can we? We should talk...' he said as Charles eyes widened. Sensing the fear in the others eyes a Max was quick to respond. 'Oh god Lieffie, not like that!' He sighed again . 'But I do think- w-we need to talk' he said as he stared in his eyes.
'Y-you are right' Charles croaked out though not meeting his gaze.
'I know you scared Charles, I'm too but please don't shut me out? He pleaded his voice cracking at the seems.

'It's not that I want to Max! Of course I don't! But every time I look at you I'm afraid that video will get out and I ruin your entire life!' He said as full tears started forming in his eyes.
'It hurt's so much, cause I want nothing more then you but I see HIM every corner I go, as then it will all be for nothing !'

Max felt his cheek's getting hot and wet. As he wanted to reach out but not scare him away. He slowly laid his hand ons Charles's who after much hesitation let him. Needing the comfort from the other as he completely broke down.

'I don't feel like myself anymore Max! I lost my confidence. His words are going through my mind every time we look and touch... that it isn't right. And I know he is wrong but I can't help but hear it every time we do, to the point I almost start to believe it is true...' as he let go of the dutchman and paced around the room.

Charles words stung as he knew how that felt, it was the way he used to feel back in the day. He felt so mad and angry that Mateo had managed to make Charles think this way as he used to be so confident in them as a couple and in their sexuality. Helping Max through his own problems.

As Charles furiously tried to wipe his tears away, Max carefully approached him. Kneeling next to him on the ground as he reached out for his hand but left it for Charles to grab. It took some hesitance but ultimately he grabbed his hand and looked down on him. Sniffling down another sob.

'I know it feels wrong right now, but it isn't Charles. Look at what we been through together we only came out stronger every time. Loving someone so dearly isn't wrong. And how I dearly love you Charles! And look at the support around us, even our teambosses are behind us. And I know it hurts sometimes, and god it will hurt if that video gets out. But to me.... the alternative hurts even more.
P-please don't walk away? If it must be pain , then Charlie let it hurt tonight but let's go back to us Tomorrow' Max sniffled as he finished whipping his face. As he felt Charles's hand tightening around his.

'Ca-can you please h-hug me?' He croaked out.
'Of course babe, always!' The dutchman replied as he carefully wrapped his arms around the monegasque.
He wanted to take it slow as it had been two months he had actively sought out for affection.
Charles felt stiff and tense, not a relaxing muscle in his body his arms hanging beside him.

It took a minute and Max rubbing soothing circles on his back before he gave in and wrapped his arms around the dutchman too.
'thank you , for not giving up on me... again' he muffled in the Dutchman's shoulder.
'Always' Max jut breathed enjoying the feeling of his boyfriend back in his arms.

They stood there for a while cherishing the moment as Charles pulled back a little, his eyes still puffy but more relaxed.
'C-can you- will you stay?... tonight?' He asked hesitantly.
Max searched his face trying to see if this was really what Charles wanted , something he was ready for.
'Y-you sure?' He asked a small smile forming in his lips.
'Yes!' Charles eyes started to twinkle as he saw the happy face of the Dutchman's.
'Then of course I'll stay!' Max said as he enveloped the younger one in a hug again.