Wildest dreams || Charles Leclerc x Max Verstappen (lestappen)

Papa

2016 had been a whirlwind for Charles. His racing career progressing steadily. Being a test driver in formula 1 and being in the Ferrari academy team. Being the best rookie who also won the GP3 championship in his rookie season . At the end of last year he had just heard that he would be racing for Prema in formula 2 so he was over the moon.

He also had learned a lot about himself. The loss of his godfather Jules had been with him in everything he did. Making him the young 19 year old man he was today.
Also his fathers illness had changed him. His father teaching him everything he wanted his son to know. His father had been sick for a while now, and they knew he wouldn't get better. But the question always had been when it would go south. They learned just after newyears it would now only be a matter of months. Charles felt torn his father being so sick, wanting to spend every possible minute with him while he was still here. But also his dad telling him of all people to not stop racing. Cause he made him so proud. So ultimately that is what he did. He was so happy seeing his father glowing when he did well. And oh how he loved the way his father smiled. He locked that in his memory forever.

He had very valuable conversations with his father in the months of pre season. Cherishing the time he could spend with his father when he wasn't training or doing obligatory things for the team.
They talked a lot about racing, his mother and brothers. They also talked about Jules and how he hoped they would meet again.

Charles had been conflicted. His father had seen it in him constantly asking his son what was wrong. But Charles so politely as he was didn't want to bother his dying father.
Charles had been conflicted about himself. He had been questioning his sexuality for quite a while now. It had started 5 years ago at Val d' Argenton , yes the race of the famous inCHident. He and Max had an argument that night. Charles would remember it for all his life. They had been bickering and bickering when they all of a sudden had been super close, mere inches apart. Before they abruptly had stepped apart by hearing Max's father calling out for his son. At that moment he had no clue what had happened between him and his rival, he was merrily 15 for that matter. But after his talk with Jules and being able to place all the puzzle pieces together he had an idea of what it was. Then the last five years he had all those little encounters with the Dutch driver. Those moments making him smile more then was probably normal. Feeling butterflies fly around in is stomach. But Charles was oblivious so he had ignored that for a good part of his teenage years. But after Barcelona last year, when they didn't talk as much anymore he had felt sad. Not being the friends he thought he was with the dutchman. So he was very happy he had got the guts to ask when they met again in Brazil.
He had really appreciated the fact that Max had come to him to apologise, wanting their friendship back aswell. And how Max had been so excited for him when he learned about his Prema seat for next year. And how reassuring he was towards him about the future of his racing career.
And when he hugged him like that he felt that the dutchman had meant it.

That moment also changed something for Charles. He had thought back about that hug many times. Not being able to ignore what he was feeling. And how he kept thinking about Max on daily basis. He had slowly come to terms with the fact he liked Max as more then a friend. And that he never really liked girls. He had attention enough. He wasn't exactly bad looking and to the outside world he was living the life others could only dream of. Every time a girl showed interest in him he just said he had no time for a relationship wanting to focus only on his racing career. What was definitely true, but also a way to not have to explain himself further.
By now he was quite sure he was Gay. But he hadn't told anybody yet, just coming to terms with that himself. Sometimes he wondered why he had to have this profession. Being in the public eye from a young age. Almost in the top of motorsport. A sport that was mostly male dominated, straight male dominated. He wasn't really worried that his parents and family wouldn't except it. They where very open and accepting and never did anything that made Charles think any different about them. But the world he was in probably wouldn't be so accepting..

And to make matter worse he fell for a boy in the same sport. A boy that was clearly straight, girls all over him. A boy that clearly didn't want to be seen as to affectionate with an other man in public given the fact that when he touched Charles he was quick to pull away again and look around to check if nobody had seen. Ugh how lucky he was.

The months had went on and the formula 2 season had now fully started, once again for Charles it couldn't got of to a better start. Being on pole position on the first three races of the season and also winning two of them. Unfortunately losing out in Monaco cause he had to retire because of technical issues.

It was now a couple of days before he had to leave to Azerbaijan. The 4th round of the championship. But his father wasn't doing well. They knew it would be a matter of hours, days if they were lucky. His father having to battle with his illness for so long was now slowly losing his fight.

Charles was sitting on his fathers hospital bed talking about little nothings.
They were smiling at each other , thinking back about some memory when Charles felt a tear running over his cheek. He looked away from his father not wanting to make his father feel bad. He was now staring out of the window when he felt his fathers hand whipping his tear away. 'You're gonna be alright eventually Charles' his father told him now grabbing his sons hand while bringing his hand up to were Charles heart should be. 'And I'll always be right there son' he said while implying a beating motion with their hands. 'That place I will never leave' Charles was now fully crying hugging his father while sobbing in to his shoulder. ' but I need you papa, I don't know how to do it without you! Everything is so complicated.' He cried. His father holding his son now whispered in his son's mop of hair. 'I'll always be with you to guide you Charlie'
Charles was staring at his father. He wasn't sure if he should tell his father now, obviously his father had other things to deal with then his stupid love life and his stupid struggles that didn't compare with what his father was going through. But he now still had the Chance to tell his father, this might be one of the last.

'Papa, I'm gay' he blurted out between sobs. not daring to look at his father. Tears still steaming down his face. His father wrapped him in his arms again. 'Thankyou for telling me son' he smiled at his son kissing his head while rubbing his hand up and down his back. 'Tell me, is that all that's bothering you?' Charles was now looking up, his eyes big. Of course his father would be okay with it and of course he would know that  he hasn't told him everything yet. ' I think I like someone' he answered. 'Is it Max?' His father replied softly. Charles was looking at his father in shock and in utter disbelief. 'How did you know papa?' Still staring with big eyes. 'A father just knows' he said while inviting his son for another hug.
They kept talking while they stayed in place on the hospital bed. Herve telling Charles how he'd known and how he loved him and his family loved him either way. Charles talking about how he felt and his worries. Afraid of his love being one sided and that his situation wasn't ideal. Afraid for his career. His father told him that it al would be okay and that it would work out in the end.

Two days later he was standing next to his fathers hospital bed, together with his mum. Arthur and Lorenzo. His father was dying and it wouldn't take long now. His father was in a lot of pain so he would be sedated as part of his palliative care. They were all cherishing their last moments together. Exchanging the last thing they wanted to share and hugging each other. His father had written down something he wanted to tell to his family. Him telling how much he loved them, and what he hopend and wanted for each of them. How proud he was of them and a last piece of advice he wanted to give his family. He talked about racing, family before he turned to Charles a little bit. looking loving but sternly into his sons eyes.

'If you love someone, you tell them. Even if you're scared that it's not the right thing. Even if you're scared that it'll cause problems. Even if you're scared that it will burn your life to the ground, you say it, and you say it loud and you go from there.'

For a moment the room fell silent before they all hugged each other and said their goodbyes separately. 'I love you dad!'' he cried. 'I love you to!' Those were the last words they exchanged before his father was induced into a peaceful sleep.
Only a couple hours later on June 20th 2017 Herve passed away surrounded by his wife and children.

Only 4 days later Charles went on the get pole position in Baku. Finishing first in the feature race and second in the sprint. He was determined he was doing his father proud. Dedicated his win to him pointing to the sky.